VirusHead

If you’re wanting to really enjoy some melancholia, and you’re a hopeless romantic like myself, it’s hard to beat “Ne Me Quitte Pas” by the Flemish/Belgian/French Jacques Brel. It’s the number one song on my self-pity list.

My friend Hayley reminded me of the song recently on Facebook. I hadn’t realized how awful the English translations and revisionings have been until my other friend Dot pointed it out. My French isn’t that great.

The first time I heard the song was as a child. My mom had a Rod McKuen album, and I loved that song – until I heard Brel’s original. Now I can’t stand to listen McKuen’s song. The bombastic style reminds me too much of Frank Sinatra, and that presentation misses everything. An impressive list of other artists have covered the song in a number of different languages. It might be fun sometime compare them all – in the style of bible concordances – but first I want to listen. I trust my ear and spirit more than I do my thoughts.

Dot directed me to another subtitled video that is closer to the original meaning:
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x18038_jacques-brel-ne-me-quitte-pas- 1959_music

Don’t go way from me
We must forget
All can be forgotten
that’s gone by already
Forget the times
of misunderstandings
The time lost
in figuring out how
Forget those hours that
sometimes killed
- with blows of why -
the heart of happiness
Don’t go way from me (4x)

Don’t go way from me
I will bring you pearls of rain
from countries
where it doesn’t rain
I will dig up the earth
until after my death
to cover your body
with gold and light
I will create for you a realm
where love is king
where love is law
and you will be queen
Don’t go way from me (4x)

Don’t go way from me
I will invent for you
nonsense words
which you’ll understand
I will tell you of these lovers
who saw their hearts
set ablaze twice
I will tell you of a king
who died from not being able
to meet you
Don’t go way from me (4x)

Often you see the flame
of an ancient volcano
thought to be too old
There are, it seems,
burnt out lands that give
better wheat than
the best April
And when night comes
to light up the sky
the red and the black
don’t they marry?
Don’t go way from me (4x)

Don’t go way from me
I won’t cry anymore
I won’t speak anymore
I’ll hide there
To watch you dance and smile
Listen to you sing and laugh
Let me become
the shadow of your shadow
shadow of your hand
shadow of your dog..
Don’t go way from me (4x)

On a board at songmeanings.com, I found another translation that I liked as well.

Do not leave me.
One must forget
that which is bygone.
Everything can be forgotten -
Forget the instances
of misunderstandings
and of the moments lost.
Knowing how to
forget the hours
that sometimes killed
the very heart of happiness
- with all their Why’s.
Do not leave me. (4x)

I will offer you
pearls made of raindrops,
found in countries where it never rains.
I will traverse the Earth,
until after I’m gone,
only to cover your body
with gold and with sunlight.
I will establish a kingdom
where Love will be king,
where Love will rule,
and you will be Queen.
Do not leave me. (4x)

Do not leave me.
I will invent for you
nonsensical words
which only you will understand.
I will tell you stories
about the lovers
whose hearts have been
twice ablaze,
and of that king
who died for not having met you.
Do not leave me.

One has often seen
a fire erupting
out an ancient volcano,
thought to be extinct.
And it seems
that a scorched earth
could give more wheat
than in the best of springs.
And when the evening falls
do the red and the black not unite
in order for sky to be set aflame?
Do not leave me.

Do not leave me.
I will no longer cry.
I will no longer talk.
I will just hide where
I can look at you
dance and smile,
and listen to you
sing and then laugh.
Let me become
the shadow of your shadow
the shadow of your hand
the shadow of your dog.
Do not leave me. (4x)

Still, even with my shaky French, there is nothing that captures the very sound and texture of the original lyrics, especially if you listen rather than watch (Monsieur Brel sweats a lot). Here they are:

Ne Me Quitte Pas

Ne me quitte pas
Il faut oublier
Tout peut s’oublier
Qui s’enfuit deja
Oublier le temps
Des malentendus
Et le temps perdu
A savoir comment
Oublier ces heures
Qui tuaient parfois
A coups de pourquoi
Le coeur du bonheure
Ne me quitte pas (4x)

Moi je t’offrirai
Des perles du pluie
Venues de pays
Ou il ne pleut pas
Je creuserai la terre
Jusqu’apres ma mort
Pour couvrir ton corps
D’or et de lumiere
Je ferai un domaine
Ou l’amour sera roi
Ou l’amour sera loi
Ou tu seras reine
Ne me quitte pas (4x)

Ne me quitte pas
Je t’inventerai
Des mots insensés
Que tu comprendras
Je te parlerai
De ces amants là
Qui ont vu deux fois
Leurs coeurs s’embraser
Je te racont’rai
L’histoire de ce roi
Mort de n’avoir pas
Pu te rencontrer
Ne me quitte pas (4x)

On a vu souvent
Rejaillir le feu
De l’ancien volcan
Qu’on croyait trop vieux
Il est paraît-il
Des terres brûlées
Donnant plus de blé
Qu’un meilleur avril
Et quand vient le soir
Pour qu’un ciel flamboie
Le rouge et le noir
Ne s’épousent-ils pas
Ne me quitte pas
Ne me quitte pas
Ne me quitte pas
Ne me quitte pas

Ne me quitte pas
Je ne veux plus pleurer
Je ne veux plus parler
Je me cacherai là
A te regarder
Danser et sourire
Et à t’écouter
Chanter et puis rire
Laisse-moi devenir
L’ombre de ton ombre
L’ombre de ta main
L’ombre de ton chien
Ne me quitte pas
Ne me quitte pas
Ne me quitte pas
Ne me quitte pas

And – don’t miss Nina Simone…

I’m having a nice lazy sleepy day today.

I worked really hard yesterday, and so the house is all straightened up and very pleasant. Yesterday, I had the extra bonus of having our rugs professionally cleaned and disinfected (if you live in the Atlanta area, I highly recommend them).

Spent a little time under the full moon last night – so serene and comforting.

After my morning coffee, I played with the kitten, and caught up on Facebook, and listened to some comedy, and started a new book.

I’m babysitting, but the boys are getting along very well. We’ll run out to the park a little later.

Things seem to be in a comfortable place all around. I’m glad, because I’ve needed a little rest.

I hope it lasts a little while.

For Hallowe’en, that is.

I had a heck of a time changing the theme and updating some plugins, but all is well now.

We’ve got a scary creature set up at the door. The kid’s costume is set. For those that don’t celebrate Hallowe’en, I have my own plans (muah-haahahahaha).

It’s been kind of strange and upsetting period with me lately, but things are getting better all the time.

I get a kind of wanderlust in the fall, but I used up all my vacation time. Once my mom gets home from the hospital, I might be taking a couple of weekend road trips to help her out, but I’d really prefer to go west or north. Or both.

I’ve got nothing to say, but it’s ok. All you need…

Sorry that I’ve not written anything in a while.

I’m concentrating on sailing through choppy waters in most of the aspects of my daily existence.

• I’ve lost a dear mentor and friend from University of Massachusetts, and I’m not ready to write about it yet. I’m also still thinking about other deaths…
• My mom has just moved from intensive care to a rehab hospital after breaking ribs and puncturing her lung.
• I’m grieved about the escalation of hatred from some people on the right who are far too easily manipulated – and/or used.
• The involvement of smart people – that I care about – in this anti-Obama movement is difficult to bear.
• My compassion level has declined, and I’m tired.
• I’ve gained a little weight, and I feel chubby and old.
• I feel underappreciated.
• My little boy is growing too fast, and I miss my baby.
• It irritates me when I catch myself saying things that older people used to say to me.
• My pro-active plans in every area are just not working out.
• I’ve got some very wonderful close friends, but my best friends live too *too* far away and I miss them.
• I feel guilty for feeling sorry for myself.
• I’m mooning around, and yet I can’t seem to relax.
• My house is – again – a big mess. I have a ton of work to do, and I’m having trouble motivating myself to do it. It’s raining, and I just want to read a novel in bed…
• I don’t have much patience with myself for these feelings.

So – basically, I’ve been in too much of a funk to write anything of any interest.

All I’ve been able to do recently is to pass items on in Facebook.

Hope to be back soon…

“A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.” – William James

Recently, I participated in an online discussion in the comments of an article written by a prominent friend/adviser to the late Michael Jackson.

Michael Jackson & Jehovah’s Witnesses, by Firpo Carr

The Michael Jackson case and the issue of child abuse are both important to me, but I didn’t really know who Firpo Carr was when I made my first comment. I’d run into his name before, but I was a little under-prepared for his particular style of debate. I felt pretty battered by the end of it, much like what happens when I try to have a political discussion with someone who has already been stirred up by their favorite propaganda machine.

His back and forth with Jerry Bergman is illuminating and true to form.

• “Dr.” Firpo Carr, a Typical Watchtower Apologist vs. Dr. Firpo Carr v. “Dr.” Jerry Bergman

A sampling of Carr’s other L.A. Sentinel articles for you to chew on:

• Gullible Gays in a Scriptural Maze
• God Pays Gays with AIDS?
• Making “Gay” Go Away
• Why Blacks Don’t Like Gays
• Gays in the “Last Days”
• Sistas and Supernatural Sex: What to Do When A Spirit Visits You

One article on money and priorities took an argument that was very familiar to me from JW days, and made it much more compelling and interesting. He’s clearly a smart guy, but something….

I hadn’t really thought about this very much before, but there might be a serious educational problem with a dependence on some forms of long-distance learning, especially at the upper levels in the humanities. Potential scholars may simply lose too much by not participating on-site at their universities. There is a sort of human osmosis effect that can only be learned by being there. It’s important to have both peers that are interacting with you and trustworthy mentors that can call attention to your blind spots without attacking you as a person. It may be more difficult to absorb the values and norms of dialogue and debate if you’re not part of the ebb and flow of discussion.

On campus, you become part of a network of friendship that includes worthy adversaries, and you develop different skills as you learn how to respect people independently of whether or not you have disagreements. Constant exposure to a wide range of scholarship and discussion not only helps the scholar to develop an ethical sense of discernment, but also models the qualities that they admire (or reject!) in a teacher. At its best, university life at the graduate level is amazingly liberating, intellectually stimulating, and fulfilling.

It’s not just the “immorality” (sex, drugs and rock ‘n roll) of university life that JWs object to, it’s the training in strong interpretations and critical thinking, along with the ethics of scholarship, that would be dangerous for them to condone in their followers. Independent thinking is against their religion.

Firpo Carr has written a fair number of books. Good for him for being so prolific! However, some supplemental reading might be helpful. Start with a selection from my page of reading recommendations for former JWs. To that, add:

• The True Believer: Thoughts on the Nature of Mass Movements – Eric Hoffer
• The Paranoid Style in American Politics – Richard Hofstadter
• Anti-Intellectualism in American Life – Richard Hofstadter
• The Anatomy of Prejudices – Elisabeth Young-Bruehl
• Speaking with the Devil: A Dialogue with Evil – Carl Goldberg

Why? Because this latter list contains non-JW-influenced resources for understanding some aspects of the mindset that can lead people to be manipulated – and possibly continue the chain.

To stick to the topic at hand, though, readers should be aware that child abuse among Jehovah’s Witnesses is a systemic problem, one that is reinforced by setting unreachable standards of perfection, demonizing “worldly authorities,” defending questionable biblical interpretations with out-of-context snippets, defending the two-witness rule for any accusation of foul play, subordinating women, presenting an almost comical style of discourse and argument, hours of weekly meetings for repetition and reinforcement, the paucity of choices for a mate, the fear of disfellowshipping and abandonment by friends and family, the threat of demonic possession, the undermining of kindness, and the almost complete lack of pastoral care.

Firpo Carr can of course believe what he likes and project what he needs to – his path is none of my concern – but it’s a very odd position from which to deny or rationalize child abuse. Even more so now, I wish that I had followed my instincts while Michael was still alive. Michael Jackson describes some of the abuse he and his siblings suffered at the hands of his father in this video.

Watch that, then read our discussion. Remember that Firpo Carr says he was Michael’s friend. I’m sorry, but I have serious doubts that Firpo Carr brought much of spiritual value to the friendship. Now he says that Michael Jackson took him aside and told him that he wished his children to be brought up as Jehovah’s Witnesses – and to have them study with Carr!

I wonder if Michael said that to anyone else, or (shall I be this cynical?) if he said it to anyone at all.

In related news – some new documentation on the Watchtower child sexual abuse settlement. It’s not hearsay – it’s signed, sealed with gag orders, wrapped up in lies, and delivered:

“Documents show that the church knew for years that some prominent members were sexually abusing children and did little.”

The Watchtower PR department issued a statement. “For the sake of the victims in these cases, we are pleased that a settlement has been reached.” Sigh. It’s not for the sake of the victims, or their policies would be different.

This is the way they protect known predators. Imagine how they handle psychological and physical child abuse, and then start Googling for the testimonies…

Here’s a sweet sad Monty Python/Michael Jackson mashup. Maybe it will start to express the inexpressible value of caring and kindness.

For a while, Michael was able to redefine and transform his experience. He created music that brought fun – and even joy – to people all over the world.

I will remember him that way.