VirusHead

I got this from a friend today, and I’m willing to spread this for the points it makes. It put me into that weird space of simultaneous laughter and groaning.

REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE
CONVENTION SCHEDULE
New York, NY

6:00 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Fall-well
6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance
6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd amendment)
6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing
6:46 PM Seminar #1: Iraq Stratergies-Voodoo/DooDoo WMD
7:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong
7:35 PM Serve Freedom Fries
7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury-It’s what’s for dinner!
8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next
8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh
8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos are after your Children!!
8:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive rights (MEN only)
8:50 PM Seminar #2 Corporations: The Government of the Future
9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "Can’t Help Lovin’ Dat Man"
9:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong
9:10 PM EPA Address #2 — Trees: The Real Cause of Forest Fires
9:30 PM Break for secret meetings
10:00 PM Second prayer led by Cal Thomas
10:15 PM Lecture by Carl Rove: Doublespeak made easy
10:30 PM Rumsfeld demonstration of how to squint and talk macho
10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark "deer in headlights" stare
10:40 PM John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory Kevlar chastity
belt
10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black republicans
10:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong
10:50 PM Seminar #3 Education: A Drain on our Nation’s Economy
11:10 PM Hilary Clinton Piñata
11:20 PM Second Lecture by John Ashcroft: Evolutionists: The Dangerous New Cult
11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again.
11:35 PM Blame Clinton
11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies
11:50 PM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself
12:00 PM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary
Overlord

Found this today too from Elderbear’s Den

When Bush stole the election in 2000,
I did not speak up, for I was too busy watching reality TV.

When they passed the USA PATRIOT Act, stripping away civil liberties,
I did not speak up, for I was afraid of terrorism.

When they disappeared suspected terrorists in the homeland,
I did not speak up, for I was not a terrorist.

When they impounded Afhghani fighters in Guantanamo without counsel or trial,
I did not speak up, for I did no battle in Afghanistan,

When they abused Iraqi prisoners, violating the Geneva Convention,
I did not speak up, because those bastards had it coming,

When they hauled my complacent ass off to jail for checking the wrong books out of the library,
Nobody spoke up, because I got the government I deserved.