The Onion | Cheney Vows To Attack U.S. If Kerry Elected

Ok, this is a joke. From the Onion. A joke.

It takes things we know and rearranges them with a dash of exaggeration so that they are a little unfamiliar, causing cognitive dissonance that we dissipate with laughter.

“If the wrong man is elected in November, the nation will come under a devastating armed attack of an unimaginable magnitude, one planned and executed by none other than myself,” Cheney said, speaking at a rally in Greensboro, NC. “When they go to the polls, Americans must weigh this fact and decide if our nation can ignore such a grave threat.”

This one’s Gooooooooood. Man, he would if he could.