Rudy Letter: All Along the Watchtower

Ok, I’m laughing now! Calling all exJWS! Read this funny letter from the collection of “Rudy Letters” (claimed to be real and sent).

Tom Kinton, Director
General Edward Lawrence Logan International Airport
East Boston, MA

Dear Mr. Kinton,

As you may have realized, people no longer want to see TV shows about cuddly sheep or thieving grandmothers. What they want to see now is “Reality TV”. As a frequent air traveler and as a business entrepreneur, I find myself in a unique position that will benefit the both of us. Let me explain.

I will soon be launching a TV show called “All Along the Watchtower.” The show will chronicle the making of an all Jehovah Witness Jimi Hendrix cover band. Thousands of Jehovah Witnesses will audition for the group. Their struggles, their triumphs, their sweat, their tears…. all recorded for the world to see. In the end, only five will be chosen to make the band.

I have chosen your location as the first stop on our audition tour and I wanted to contact you to make you aware of our upcoming arrival. Our fleet of trucks will arrive at 6:00am so our crew can begin to set-up the stages and all the digital equipment. We have decided that Concourse E next to Jake’s Coffee House is an ideal spot. We should be ready to start auditions at 8:00am sharp. For obvious reasons we are asking that people come equipped with their own tambourines. In addition, our judges will not accept any carnations from auditioners, as this may appear as bribery to our network advisors.

Please write to me as soon as possible to firm up these plans and with some estimates on how many potential jehovah witness band hopefuls you think Concourse E can accommodate.

Respectfully,

Rudy Schumann
Manager/Producer All Along the Watchtower

(He received a reply!)