It just struck me that Michael must have had the same dwellings as all of us ex witnesses? Just so sad he didn’t speak out loud, it might have made him feel he wasn’t alone?

To be honest, I am a little surprised that I have a need to express myself about Michael Jackson. I am so old that I have grown up with his music as so many others in the world but I was not aware of his background in JW that came as a surprise for me.

I myself had some very upsetting years in my teenage in the JW:s, but I have managed to take me out of the organization (but note I do not have anything against religion or Christianity). In my case, I was very good in school and had as we call it over here in Sweden ”a read head”. Sadly I had to fight for my studies and I was alerted to worldly knowledge and to learn that university was a tool of Satan. You have no idea what struggles I endured, and how out frozen in the cold I was because I selected the studies at the university instead of in the organization.

I think it might be that experience that made me so upset while hearing that Michael also was a JW in his teenage. Although there are over 20 years ago all this happened to me, the memories comes back and I understand what hard times this talented artist must have had to challenge all the requirements and desires that were on him.

All I can say is that I hope this tragic life and dead of an great musician and artist lead to something good within the Christianity society. And that we understand that you can not force a belief in a child or use threats or fears. It must be an independent decision by an adult and we couldn’t say that all outside the organisation is of Satan because there are after all at least sometimes a wonderful world we live in :=)

Once upon a time, a boy was born with an ordinary talent. His father had only one thing in his mind, to get his son to succeed and be the best. His mother had only one thing in her mind, to get his son to be saved and a believer in her faith.

This boy’s childhood was mostly to satisfy what his father wanted him to do on stage while he tried to live up to his mother’s religious beliefs on how to live, behave and look. But neither the father nor mother thought he did enough either on stage or as a believer.

The boy grew up and became increasingly a brilliant star on the music sky. His father was still not satisfied despite the fact that his son won several awards in the music industry. While expression his talent in music his mothers religion saw the son as “apostate” and he was excluded from their faith because of the music and art he created and for the dress and the hair clippers he chose to have.

As his celebrity grew also his doubts grew. Could his father love him now that he was the world’s most famous artist? And could mom love him and could he please her God even if he if he still wanted to continue to create his music?

The boy, now a man, remembered his childhood and all he saw was pleasing his father with good performances and pleasing mother with trying to for fill her believes of he preaching of the word. As he remembered he didn’t have any real childhood as for playing as kids normally do. When he tries to recapture his childhood as an adult the nearby and the grown up pointed finger to him and said: “this man is perverted and sick.”

Like many great artists the little boy died a premature death.

At his funeral his father was mostly concerned about creating a new record company and his mother most worried that the funeral was to “worldly” and not the way she had wanted it in the spirit of her religion.

Perhaps we all, together with his parents owe this man an apology. Forgive us for not seeing your needs, forgive us for putting worldly and spiritually need before seeing you as a human being. Forgive us for forgetting this while you were a child and even as you had grown up as an adult putting our wants of what a life should be before looking at your needs.

And most of all forgive us for excluding you from something that you ought not to be excluded from, namely the right to be a human.

On the issue of faith – faith based on fear doesn’t last, only faith in joy and love and kindness can survive. Since grace is never mentioned (”loving-kindness” is really a misleading translation) and individual paths and gifts are disregarded, I think it’s difficult for most people to develop loving relationships under the watchful guidance of the organization.

But I can tell that these are things that you have considered yourself, at least a little bit, and I don’t mean to put you in a defensive position of having the burden of proof.

One thing is odd, though, in what you’re saying here. I don’t ever recall even hearing about a situation where a child or woman could bring themselves to accuse someone in a public way – it’s hard even to imagine that they would have the courage. I’m talking about someone desperate enough to seek help from the elders. Think how disappointing that would be to hope and trust that they cared, only to discover that not only wouldn’t they help but that they protected the abuser. In case after case, this has been the narrative.

I am sorry if I seemed impatient, you said you would ponder , but I did want to address the denial comment. I realize you have a life (by your pictures) as do I. Recently I have been catching up on an online math course I have been taking so I am online quite a bit. Please forgive my ‘manic’ blogging.

Thank you for clarifying the denial thing. I haven’t denied that there are, and that I have known, examples of elders mishandling things to the detriment of the flock, even in my own case. From my experience and research I found the REAL problem was a lackadaisical attitude toward instructions given on how to handle all cases of abuse on the part of individuals as well as the more important scriptural guidance, especially to love. I can only tell you what I know I have done or would have done if a sister came to me and said her husband was beating her, for example. I would ask for details, while being gentle and kind. If there were children, I would ask them what they knew, gently, carefully. Then ask the husband his side. If there was any reason to believe these things were true and felt the wife or children were in danger, I would get the help of other elders to help get her/them out of the situation, using resources the state provides if possible. I have dealt with some situations like that and would stand by my record.

I apologize for my comment about the ex-elder JW who was ‘flipping the bird’ on his book. Obviously there is some deep rooted pain and frustration associated with that gesture.

Regarding my slant. I was ‘digging’ at ones who are trying to help people out of organizations that control by trying to ‘open their eyes’ to how that group does not control its members enough by more strict controls…i.e regarding abuse.

I wholeheartedly agree with you that the common ground should be love, faith and community…out of which should stem any efforts toward works. (I have long waited for the day we will stop filling out those reports…for many reasons). When I WAS an elder ( For PCKnotte), I recall a C.O asking me how I felt about the spiritual condition of the congregation I was an elder in. My response was…I don’t see enough faith. I do believe JWs have the truth thing down pretty much, but I see a disheartening lack of spirit (John 4:24) at times. Many do judge their faithfulness and love for God and Christ more from the darn numbers on a piece of paper than from as you say REAL, GENUINE, AUTHENTIC FAITH. Personally, I have written the Governing Body about several things I have been thinking about and I express some sentiments to my wife and nothing has happened.

I ENCOURAGE questioning and believe that analytical thinking is EXTREMELY IMPORTANT. My statement was more of a lament that every JW doesn’t wrestle with their own questions and develop a real faith, that does not produce fear when confronted with something different ( You know the ones…the argumentative and hyper-defensive)…I have, since I was a teenager. in the right format, questions are necessary. I don’t believe public questioning and criticism is always constructive, just as I don’t believe a child should question a parent’s authority ‘publicly’. They might find the response much colder and legalistic than if they asked and questioned more privately.

To reiterate, I do believe in questioning the traditions of men. I don’t believe Moses got it all right when leading the Israeites, for example. To privately question him and advise, even multiple times may have been the course of wisdom for Korah and his associates. Ultimately, the Israelites got to the right place even under his imperfect leadership.

I can understand that looking at the cold, legalistic rules in the flock book or letters can make it seem that the intent of the organizations’ leadership shows more concern for regulations and laws and protection of assets. That is why those things are not made available for everyone’s consumption. BUT, those legalities are defined for men with the presumption (An for good reason) that those men are already loving, faithful, loyal and compassionate. That is why the warning is given to not let our thinking get clouded when someone cries…it is assumed (rightfully) empathy will be there…they don’t have to specifically instruct in the manual “when someone cries, try to care”.

Regarding the previous blogger comment about the awful retainage record of JWs. A few years ago and MSN article ranked JWs as the wors at under 37% staying. I immediately pulled out a picture we took in 1988 of all the young ones in the KH (I was one of them)……yep, 33% left ’standing’. A large % were from ‘fringe’ families that demonstrated my frustration I mentioned earlier to a C.O….no REAL faith, just a somewhat blind loyalty and hypocrisy that those children likely learned from. Most of them went to drugs etc, including my brother, who was disfellowshipped and reminds me of many of the previous bloggers who are trying to get back. I don’t believe most leave because they think it’s a sham, they just can live up to the moral laws, mainly because their parents didn’t arm them with authentic faith and a genuine love for God, just a cursory knowledge that burns up under the tests of hormones and peer pressure (1 Cor 3:13).

I apologize for getting lengthy, I think it’s because I have the burden of proof.
Yours,
Dave