getting in over my head here, i know…

When I find, as I sometimes do, that I’m getting drained and starting to despair, I do take a break from it. I have to - I can’t be productive if I don’t. I also have my own rituals and processes to re-energize - and I suppose it wouldn’t be out of place to put more of that kind of thing on the blog sometimes. But what moves me to write on a given day varies and I think these days it’s more reactive just because there is so much that makes me feel angry, disappointed, and sad. Writing is itself a way of combatting that. I “offer it up” to the blogosphere.

Anyway, a conscious focus on the positive is great just so long as it doesn’t become a method of refusing to look at what you don’t want to know. I think I’m so concerned about our future that I feel a danger in moving into positivity as a kind of intentional blindness. Finding the path of synthesis is always tricky. Looking at the negative is fine unless it becomes an end in itself - for me, it’s good to think of how things might be different if a different viewpoint were considered, or a different solution proposed, or a destructive policy protested.

Find the ways that you are positively motivated and energized - we all have our own gifts to offer - and you have to care for yourself so that you have something to give.

I wonder if this bit from my half-serious Virtual Church of Benevolent Deities, Inc might be useful:

Caritas - Give Alms, Give Compassion, Give Love

Pay attention to someone you might normally ignore.
Be a listening ear to someone who needs one.
Look around you - everyone needs a little support and compassion.
Commit a random act of kindness today.
Smile at someone - your husband, your wife, your child, your friend - or your adversary (it really confuses them).
Think of more ways to embody compassionate love and forgiveness.

Meditate

How about just a few slow deep breaths? Stop thinking and just feel yourself breathe for a minute.
It is astonishing what we already know if we just stop to pay attention and listen. Ask yourself a question and listen for that most hidden and quiet voice inside you that is the most authentic center. The answer, for you, will almost always arise.
Notice what tape keeps playing in your head today. How long can you turn it off? Ten seconds? A minute? How long does it take you to notice that it has started playing again? Can you choose to gently turn your thoughts back to a deep breath?
Try a chant. Use anything: conventional prayers and phrases, resonant words, and even fun phrases. One of our minor deities has had great results with “God is love and.”
Become aware of your body. How does it feel, how are you different: bowing, standing with arms stretched to the sky, in a yoga position, curled up in a fetal position, standing with arms crossed, clapping your hands?
Give yourself a break from difficult questions - look at the stars, at the sky, at the tops of the trees, at the gravel on the edge of the road.

what would happen if you turned off the tv, threw out the newspaper, refused to speak about politics and went lalala with your fingers in your ears any time the poison gets near you?

i would miss you but would it be ok? to say “It’s beautiful outside, and while I’m not participating in any parade or protest, I am looking forward to spending the rest of the day with my family…” and not give any more energy to these bastardly events?

this world can gnaw at your soul. is it ok to consciously focus on the positive?

i adhere to your insights…but it all makes me very very nasty. i refuse to give myself cancer with it. am i a coward?

not joking.

Cheers,
Mr. H.K.
Postcards from Hell’s
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