I left the Watchtower in great apostate fan fare, challenging doctrine, pointing out hypocrisy, partaking at the memorial, and discovering hidden sins of elders. I still can’t believe it has been four years since it all started. Once you have been apart of the Tower it will always effect you no matter how long you have been gone. Even if your over the religion itself, you end up running into people all the time. I will have to move in order to get away from the ones that know me. In someways I feel I need to stay in order to help those who are ready to leave or are in the process of discovering and MAKING THE TRUTH THEIR OWN.

Enjoying your blog..

Chuck

It’s obvious once you think about it, wasn’t Jesus’ message about faith and forgiveness and compassion intended to short-circuit this kind of cycle?

Here’s my imagined sketch of a comic facet of God’s personality:

“You want a king, I’ll give you a king. But you won’t like it. See? You want rules, I’ll give you rules. But you won’t like it. Guess what? Doesn’t work. Ok, here’s a new covenant. Ok, you’re soooo not getting the point here…”

I completely agree with you about learning to acknowledge your own feelings – how you actually feel if you let yourself feel something. You start to develop a language beyond happy/sad/angry.

It’s another part of you that can then decide whether or not to _do_ anything about your feelings. It’s enough, more often than people tend to think, just to see that it’s how you really feel.

No rush – exactly!

Hey, advanced age – I’ve got a whole year on you.

And you’re a lifesaver too. We all can be. I love that you’re out there. I love that some of us are in contact and that we can compare notes, and feelings, and support, and friendship.

Thank you.

Now if that isn’t an *aha* lightbulb kind of moment, I don’t know what is.

I have no idea who this young person is who wrote you this email, Heidi, but please thank them for me. I learned something today…something very important and although I’m not quite sure how it will fit with whatever else I have in my head, I am positive it is big. Very. Big.

I would second every word you’ve written as well. After a lifetime of *teaching* it is extremely tough to just stop. Anything. Let alone something that has been ingrained from babyhood. The key, I believe, is to just breathe. And think. And if you’ve not lost complete connection to your feelings (as I did), just feel. Whatever those feelings are. Just feel them. There is no rush. Simply try them on. Take ‘em out for a spin, if you will.

I’m learning (at the advanced age of 42) to slow down. I don’t have to decide in a hurry. I can hold onto *it* for as long as it takes to figure out if I like it or not. Maybe I’ll never figure it out. Maybe it’ll just be gone some day. Maybe it won’t. I know that once I decide to observe for awhile, things become clearer.

I bet you don’t know what a lifesaver you are do you?

Peace.