Stumbled across a fictional service call that gives a more honest view of the mentality of that Jehovah’s Witness at your door.

A little sample:

Witness: Well, God’s going to kill you. And … well, I can see from the toys in your yard that you have children. Am I right?

Householder: Yes.

Witness: Well, God’s going to kill them, too. And it’ll be your fault. There. You’ve been warned. I’ve just discharged my own responsibility, so the bloodguilt is yours now. When God kills your kids, it’ll be all your fault. So you better take these magazines.

Householder: But we pray to God every night. We even pray together, as a family! My wife and my daughter and I kneel every evening before we tuck her in, and she folds her hands and prays for us and for her dolls and for Rover, her puppy …

Witness: That’s cute and all, but I’m afraid it isn’t enough.

Householder: So my daughter …

Witness: Dead.

Householder: And my wife …

Witness: Dead …

Householder: What about Rover?

Witness: Dead. Dead dead dead dead dead. Look, are you going to take the magazines or not?