Comments on: Update on Nicolette’s Death http://www.virushead.net/vhrandom/2008/02/08/update-on-nicolettes-death/ Mutating bits of contagious discourse, because language is a virus. Sat, 22 Nov 2008 17:49:47 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.3 By: Katie http://www.virushead.net/vhrandom/2008/02/08/update-on-nicolettes-death/#comment-76989 Katie Mon, 07 Jul 2008 18:43:11 +0000 http://www.virushead.net/vhrandom/2008/02/08/update-on-nicolettes-death/#comment-76989 Heidi, I am also an old friend of Nikki's from high school. I googled her name today because she was on my mind and I found this post. I've struggled with alot of the same guilty feelings since I got the call in February. I loved her but she could be hard to love sometimes. I was happy to see the picture of you both smiling. Be well. Katie Heidi,
I am also an old friend of Nikki’s from high school. I googled her name today because she was on my mind and I found this post. I’ve struggled with alot of the same guilty feelings since I got the call in February. I loved her but she could be hard to love sometimes.
I was happy to see the picture of you both smiling.
Be well.
Katie

]]> By: traci http://www.virushead.net/vhrandom/2008/02/08/update-on-nicolettes-death/#comment-76652 traci Tue, 12 Feb 2008 18:25:14 +0000 http://www.virushead.net/vhrandom/2008/02/08/update-on-nicolettes-death/#comment-76652 I'm grateful for the relief you feel about this situation. Mental illness is such a difficult journey...for those afflicted and those who love them as well. You are in my thoughts Heidi. <em>traci's last blog post..<a href='http://buttrrflyyz.wordpress.com/2008/01/18/on-the-lighter-side/' rel="nofollow">on the lighter side</a></em> I’m grateful for the relief you feel about this situation. Mental illness is such a difficult journey…for those afflicted and those who love them as well. You are in my thoughts Heidi.

traci’s last blog post..on the lighter side

]]> By: VirusHead http://www.virushead.net/vhrandom/2008/02/08/update-on-nicolettes-death/#comment-76642 VirusHead Sun, 10 Feb 2008 18:56:17 +0000 http://www.virushead.net/vhrandom/2008/02/08/update-on-nicolettes-death/#comment-76642 I'm so honored to receive this wave of support. Elainna - I'm so sorry about your friend, and about the residual feelings you have about it. Sending you tons and tons of love! You are one of the most amazing, caring, dedicated people I have met online. I feel certain that there is nothing more that you could have done, but my heart goes out to you in empathy. You're right about the memorial - we're putting together a memory book... Tony - So sorry about your mom. My husband lost his mom the same way too, and I think when you feel that there isn't a complete explanation, it's harder to make peace. I send wishes that you find yours. Gbreeze - My sister of the gentle breezes - you already know. Waves back to you in a shimmering circuit. Mary - You are the only friend from home that I've actually known longer than Nicolette - isn't it funny that we had all become these seriously liberal gals? It is so comforting to read your comment. Can you believe that I saw her within days of seeing you? It is so hard to believe that this could have happened. Hugs... I love you, sweetie. Hugs to the fam for me (save some of those cinnamon apples for me). I’m so honored to receive this wave of support.

Elainna - I’m so sorry about your friend, and about the residual feelings you have about it. Sending you tons and tons of love! You are one of the most amazing, caring, dedicated people I have met online. I feel certain that there is nothing more that you could have done, but my heart goes out to you in empathy. You’re right about the memorial - we’re putting together a memory book…

Tony - So sorry about your mom. My husband lost his mom the same way too, and I think when you feel that there isn’t a complete explanation, it’s harder to make peace. I send wishes that you find yours.

Gbreeze - My sister of the gentle breezes - you already know. Waves back to you in a shimmering circuit.

Mary - You are the only friend from home that I’ve actually known longer than Nicolette - isn’t it funny that we had all become these seriously liberal gals? It is so comforting to read your comment. Can you believe that I saw her within days of seeing you? It is so hard to believe that this could have happened. Hugs… I love you, sweetie. Hugs to the fam for me (save some of those cinnamon apples for me).

]]> By: Mary http://www.virushead.net/vhrandom/2008/02/08/update-on-nicolettes-death/#comment-76640 Mary Sun, 10 Feb 2008 17:53:28 +0000 http://www.virushead.net/vhrandom/2008/02/08/update-on-nicolettes-death/#comment-76640 Heidi, you were and still are a great friend to Nikki. I am sure she loved the talks and support you gave her, I know that I do. You are a very loving and giving person, and it shows. I believe what is going to happen will, and while we can change, we cannot control our final destiny. We will begin to see more of our friends going now, the years are starting to catch up with us! But never think that you did not affect her thoughts, or give her solace. I know for me, just knowing that I have friends (like you) to count on, to go to, to help me sort out things, makes a world of difference. I hope too that she had a quick and easy passing. Having lived thru both my parents passing, one quick and sudden and one drawn out, I think I prefer the quick. It is a shock, but they do not suffer. I am sure her animals were with her and helped her. I think she is up in heaven smiling down and at rest with her Mom. Love and hugs across the miles, Mary Heidi, you were and still are a great friend to Nikki. I am sure she loved the talks and support you gave her, I know that I do. You are a very loving and giving person, and it shows. I believe what is going to happen will, and while we can change, we cannot control our final destiny. We will begin to see more of our friends going now, the years are starting to catch up with us! But never think that you did not affect her thoughts, or give her solace. I know for me, just knowing that I have friends (like you) to count on, to go to, to help me sort out things, makes a world of difference. I hope too that she had a quick and easy passing. Having lived thru both my parents passing, one quick and sudden and one drawn out, I think I prefer the quick. It is a shock, but they do not suffer. I am sure her animals were with her and helped her. I think she is up in heaven smiling down and at rest with her Mom. Love and hugs across the miles, Mary

]]> By: gbreez http://www.virushead.net/vhrandom/2008/02/08/update-on-nicolettes-death/#comment-76635 gbreez Sun, 10 Feb 2008 01:59:47 +0000 http://www.virushead.net/vhrandom/2008/02/08/update-on-nicolettes-death/#comment-76635 I know about the guilt. I still feel it, whether I should or no. Should is such a useless word. Waves of healing energy to you, my friend. She is at peace and would want you to be so, too. <em>gbreez's last blog post..<a href='http://gbreez.blogspot.com/2008/02/re-torture-experiement.html' rel="nofollow">Re the Torture "Experiement"</a></em> I know about the guilt. I still feel it, whether I should or no. Should is such a useless word.
Waves of healing energy to you, my friend. She is at peace and would want you to be so, too.

gbreez’s last blog post..Re the Torture “Experiement”

]]> By: Tony http://www.virushead.net/vhrandom/2008/02/08/update-on-nicolettes-death/#comment-76628 Tony Sat, 09 Feb 2008 04:57:35 +0000 http://www.virushead.net/vhrandom/2008/02/08/update-on-nicolettes-death/#comment-76628 Sorry to hear about your friend, Heidi. My mom died much the same way 14 years ago. I'm still not sure if she committed suicide, and I'll never be sure. Hang in there. There's no reason for you to feel guilty for not calling, etc. I don't really know what else to say, but hang in there. -T Sorry to hear about your friend, Heidi. My mom died much the same way 14 years ago. I’m still not sure if she committed suicide, and I’ll never be sure.

Hang in there. There’s no reason for you to feel guilty for not calling, etc.

I don’t really know what else to say, but hang in there.

-T

]]> By: Elainna http://www.virushead.net/vhrandom/2008/02/08/update-on-nicolettes-death/#comment-76627 Elainna Sat, 09 Feb 2008 02:06:48 +0000 http://www.virushead.net/vhrandom/2008/02/08/update-on-nicolettes-death/#comment-76627 Dear Heidi, The death of a friend, particularly one afflicted with a mental disease, almost always leaves us asking questions about the quality of our relationship. I remember asking myself, if I had called more often, been more supportive and so on and so on. I guess its natural for us to blame ourselves when someone we loved and cared for is gone. I'm glad that you are relieved of the burden of her possibly committing suicide, I wasn't so lucky. Nevertheless, now is your time to mourn and say goodby to your friend. I hope you create a memorial or have a leave taking ceremony, it really helps,. Do be kind to yourself, Love, Elainna Dear Heidi,

The death of a friend, particularly one afflicted with a mental disease, almost always leaves us asking questions about the quality of our relationship. I remember asking myself, if I had called more often, been more supportive and so on and so on. I guess its natural for us to blame ourselves when someone we loved and cared for is gone. I’m glad that you are relieved of the burden of her possibly committing suicide, I wasn’t so lucky. Nevertheless, now is your time to mourn and say goodby to your friend. I hope you create a memorial or have a leave taking ceremony, it really helps,.

Do be kind to yourself,
Love,
Elainna

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