Always a fount of information on the gender wars, my long-suffering friend Troy has made the two offerings below.
The fact that I first typed “font” is actually funnier to me. A “font” of information. Hee hee. I know that “font” can have a similiar meaning to “fount” but the latter is more precise. Besides, all I can think of is spurting bits of Arial (be kind in the comments - heh-heh). See what kind of sludge my mind enters after being exposed to this trash?
Enjoy these if you do, critique them if you don’t. I can see the humor - I can - but…. I’m trying to discourage further deliveries along this kind of subject line. Hear me, Troy? I like the pictures better - the birds, the bear, your studio, girls with tiaras… all of that is fine (hug).
“This has to be the funniest video I have ever seen.”
When the Wife Doesn’t Listen
Translating the Words of Men
“I’M GOING FISHING” Means: “I’m going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.”
“IT’S A GUY THING” Means: “There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.”
“CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?” Means: “Why isn’t dinner already on the table?”
“UH HUH,” “SURE, HONEY,” OR “YES, DEAR…” Means: Absolutely nothing. It’s a conditioned response.
“IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN” Means: “I have no idea how it works.”
“I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT’S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND.” Means: “I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra.”
“TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU ARE WORKING TOO HARD.” Means: “I can’t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.”
“THAT’S INTERESTING, DEAR.” Means: “Are you still talking?”
“YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS.” Means: “I remember the theme song to ‘F Troop’, the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I’ve ever owned, but I forgot your birthday.”
“I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES.” Means: “The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe.”
“OH, DON’T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT’S NO BIG DEAL.” Means: “I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I am hurt.”
“HEY, I’VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I’M DOING.” Means: “And I sure hope I think of some pretty good reasons soon.”
“I CAN’T FIND IT.” Means: “It didn’t fall into my outstretched hands, so I’m completely clueless.”
“WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?” Means: “What did you catch me at?”
“I HEARD YOU.” Means: “I haven’t the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don’t spend the next 3 days yelling at me.”
“YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE” Means: “I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse.”
“YOU LOOK TERRIFIC.” Means: “”Please don’t try on one more outfit, I’m starving.”
“I’M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE.” Means: “No one will ever see us alive again.”
Roberta Genini on 
5:17 am on August 13th, 2008 1
I might have thought this was a little harsh last week , but I found myself using variations of “IT’S A GUY THING” and “OH, DON’T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT’S NO BIG DEAL.” after a few beers and playing around on a jumping castle last weekend. So ok maybe there is a little truth in here, and maybe bit of Peter Pan in all of us?
11:56 am on August 13th, 2008 2
I don’t disagree with that, and this is mildly funny - yes. I’m interested in the way the memes propagate, though.
My personal wake-up call on this happened a couple of years ago. A glass had gotten broken and I opened my mouth and some version of my mom and Mary Tyler Moore broke out with “well, I guess we just can’t HAVE nice things.” You should have seen John’s face. It’s not the kind of thing I would ever say, and it’s so culturally locatable. And still, it came out my mouth, as they say.
We laughed about it, but I’ve always been a little disturbed at being infected by this kind of thing, being subsumed under… well, whatever you want to call it. I think men are sometimes damaged by it, too. Sure, every stupid flunky Dad on television is amusing, but there sure are a lot of them… and why are we reinforcing it? Peter Pan - love the “childlike,” not so fond of the “childish.”
My posts last night were kind of mindless anyway. I was tired and descriptive prose was hiding from me.
Any more music to send me?
5:54 pm on August 14th, 2008 3
You can just tell the make-up sex was incredible that night.
delmers last blog post..Rethinking Cookies