Comments on: Ex-JW – Expressing the Pain

By: Ruth

Ruth — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 16:34:48 +0000

I have recently been through a similar situation. I was disfellowshippied when I was 16. I am now 21. My father called me last Wednesday and told me that he could no longer have a relationship with me and that he hoped that I would “soon realize that I needed the truth in my life”. He also said something that really caused me intense pain; he is willing to have a relationship with my 1 year old son but not with me. He said that if I would allow it, he would like to come and visit my son. My question is, How is it possible for him to have a relationship with my son and not with me? I trully know how feel dear X, I am going through the same situation at the moment. The only difference is that my father’s decision includes my mother and my sister. I feel so alone and confused. I really don’t know what to believe anymore. It seems as if they ran out of options to convince me to get reinstated in the congregation and this is a drastic measure to see if I will “come to my senses”. I have found myself to be very confused and realized that I don’t know what exactly I believe anymore. I have relied on constant reading and keeping myself busy at work. Please know Dear X that you are not alone in this at all.

By: traci

traci — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 06:45:37 +0000

My parents have died by the way. My cousin's implication that they would be resurrected so she could see them again and I couldn't threw me for a loop. traci´s last blog post - it’s christmas

By: traci

traci — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 06:43:56 +0000

Oh gawd, I have tears in my eyes now. The pain this person feels comes through so clearly. I wish I had some helpful suggestions however upon reading this I was blindsided by something I'd put aside during the last few months. My cousin, who is still a JW, sent me an email telling me in a "lookie what I get to do and you don't" fashion that she would get to see my disfellowshipped parents again and I wouldn't. The truth is Witnesses are trained to believe the things they do are all in their best interest. As my cousin told me she "knows that Jehovah is real and that she is doing what he wants her to do." I've been there and I do remember but it makes my stomach ache to think of it all. My wish for this person is peace. It's hard to find sometimes. traci´s last blog post - it’s christmas

By: Christy

Christy — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 01:59:12 +0000

Your story speaks to me as well. For many many years after I was disfellowshipped, my father behaved in the same cycle as you are experiencing with your sister. I actually worked for my parents in their small town business but for some reason, every few months, my father (an elder) would declare that he had to distance himself from me because I was leading him away from Jehovah.

They say time heals all wounds but for me, distance helped more than time ever did. My parents moved 1,500 miles away when my father retired from his university job. I was devestated for the first year; it was only later that I realized the distance helped to soften my father’s attitude towards me. Now, when I visit, about once a year, we are careful but loving around one another and he no longer tries to talk me into becoming reinstated.

I too have moved away from Judeo Christian religeon and embrace a faith now with both male and female gods; I don’t define myself as wicca but that’s close enough. May the loving Father, the hunter and the tender Lady, mother and sister to us all, bring you peace and healing.

By: Gail Brewer

Gail Brewer — Thu, 01 Jan 2009 21:19:21 +0000

My God is Sovereign and Providential.

The Sovereignty of God means that there is really nothing I can do to compel him to act one way or another. He is so holy and separate from me that there is nothing I can offer to make him say “Hey, I owe it to her to let her come into a relationship with me.”

If there was a way I could, then He would not be Sovereign.

It is sad and I have much compassion for people who have a theology where deeds are seen as a measure of goodness which in turn make somebody better than the next person.

As it is written:
“There is no one righteous, not even one;
NIV Romans 3:10