Been a long, long time…
I can hardly believe that it’s been a whole month since I last blogged, and there’s really too much to write about – so here’s just a basic sort of catchup post…
- We returned from France wholly refreshed and beaming. I was sad about my Gramma’s death, but felt her so very close in my heart and memories that it didn’t really seem entirely real…
- Until I went down to Florida for the memorial. Being with my family was a bit rocky from time to time, but it all worked out into something good and meaningful before the end. My brothers were especially wonderful during this time, and even the trip to the emergency room (oh, poor Uncle Ronnie’s nose!) had its moments of sweetness. Aunt Ute and I had some good time together. I was able to set up Papa Tom’s computer for him and help out a little bit with some things while I was there. We had some great food (Roy is a great cook!) and some time to talk. The church ceremony was ok, but the backyard goodbye with flowers was much more authentic and touching. Mum set a good example for the ceremony, and we kept the tone for our own goodbyes. All good.
Nancy (Mom) and Ronnie
Ute and Ronnie
Heidi - Michael - Mom - Roy
- The next weekend after Florida, I went to Colorado. The first stop was in Boulder. I managed to drop my camera hiking, and it was so dented at the edge of the lens that it wouldn’t even turn on. That made me pretty mad, because I only managed to get a handful of photos – and just when I wanted to capture my surroundings! I wanted to be reminded of that great sense of expansion and height and perspective.
I just missed seeing Kelly (boo!), but I did get to spend a little time with my friend Vance and we shared a very pleasant dinner (figs and polenta – yum!). It was good to talk about the usual topics in person for a change. Sometimes it’s easy to misunderstand someone when you can’t see facial expressions. I did a fair bit of people-watching in Boulder, too – it’s a really interesting town. Bonus! I found a salesperson at Red Wing Shoe Store who understood both my weird feet and the exact pros and cons of their stock. I was very impressed. Picked up a pair of sneakers and a pair of hiking boots that don’t hurt when I wear them. Finally! Of course, it helps when you have the right size – evidently I’m now a 9-1/2! Heidi Sasquatch! - Next, off to Littleton, where I was finally able to pry the dent back enough for the lens to work again on the camera. I had a total blast at the annual BBQ/Volleyball gathering, and especially liked meeting Danny’s family (at last). I chickened out of the volleyball game (even after getting new sneakers and a “serve tutorial” from Danny). I hadn’t seen my dear cousin Kim since our canoe trip, and Kim has been working really hard all year – so the gathering was all for Kim (according to Danny). “Kim deserved it!” Hee hee. Their son Zaqq is all grown up now and very reflective and good to talk with – and I learned how to grill unshucked corn. Yummy! It makes my spirit feel grounded just to be around Kim – wish I could see her more often.
Kim and Heidi
Her sis (my cuz) Jillian was there with her boyfriend Bill and her daughter Jynessica. I can’t even think of the last time I’ve seen Jillian! I got some great pics of them, and even caught Jynessica smiling The whole day was shiny and happy, even in the shadow of the Columbine memorial… of course, if Kim had been on the scene then, I honestly don’t think it would have happened. She’s that good.
- I’ve been really productive at work – enjoying it, actually looking forward to going to work. That’s a good feeling. I think vacations help a lot.
- Enjoying Molly kitten so much! She is so cute and funny! The newest thing is that I’ve discovered how she is getting black stuff on her – she has been napping in the fireplace! Guess I’ll have to clean all that out, but I’m not sure exactly how to deter her other than putting the fire on. That might be too scary….
- As far as items in the news go, I can’t help but think that the United States sure has turned into a strange place…we’ve completely lost our sense of priorities. Sometimes all I can do is shake my head ruefully and laugh.
- So I’m finally home on the weekend and I’m enjoying a sunny, breezy Saturday. I’ve been messing around on Facebook for far too long today, but I’ve enjoyed feeling a bit zoned-out. It’s been an emotional summer; I think I needed the down time.
Have a great weekend!
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14 comments
Hi Heidi!.
It sounds like Molly is a very cheecky kitten
)
I’m glad you’ve enjoyed your holidays.(BTW holidays are what Brits call vacations
I hope you have a good weekend too!
REGARDING THE “VIRUSHEAD.COM” WEBSITE:
I appreciate that Heidi had an apparent bad experience with the Jehovah’s Witnesses. The sad thing is that all human beings on earth are products of imperfection and that is why Jehovah’s Witnesses and a majority of humanity congregate in an attempt to find out what God really wants for us and from us. The virushead.com site, although eloquent, shows only that she (“Dr. Heidi”) can seek out the bad in any targetted group but does not assist the reader in any other “truth” other than the “don’t listen to them” mentality.
I am a Jehovah’s Witness, I have seen human imperfection exhibited within the organization but not to the same extent as any other group/religion/organization/race when singled out and analyzed individually for their merits and/or failures.
The bible says that God will judge us …. “Important though the good works themselves may be, the motives for doing them are even more important. It is therefore wise for us to check our motives from time to time. Since no human can accurately know the motives of others, however, we must beware of judging others. “Who are you to judge the house servant of another?” we are asked, with the obvious answer: “To his own master he stands or falls.” (Romans 14:4) Jehovah, the Master of all, and his appointed Judge, Christ Jesus, will judge us, not on the basis of our works alone but also on the basis of our motives, our opportunities, our love, and our devotion. Only Jehovah and Christ Jesus can accurately judge whether we have done what Christians are admonished to do, in the words of the apostle Paul: “Do your utmost to present yourself approved to God, a workman with nothing to be ashamed of, handling the word of the truth aright. ” Timothy 2:15; 2 Peter 1:10; 3:14.” [6/1/2005 Watchtower]
Jehovah’s Witnesses are slaves indeed, but not to man. If one or several of us should allow ourselves to be drawn into Satan’s snares and do things that are not in accord with the God’s will or the example of his son, Jesus Christ, then he/she will be judged. I am sure that “Dr Hiede” feels that she is doing a good work by bringing attention to the evil that has been allowed into the lives of a small minority of those associated with the Jehovah’s Witnesses. I would challenge her, and those who harbor the same negativity, to promote any other “way” that they can prove provides the same or greater benefit and promise than the realities and hopes found within the majority of Jehovah’s Witnesses.
Um, ok, welcome to the blog, Jim. I’ll try to be fair in responding to your unfair assault.
I didn’t actually have that bad of an experience with the Jehovah’s Witnesses, and still count some of them as friends. My difficulties were relatively minor, having to do with a general lack of ethics and kindness among its members and a disinclination to take study seriously enough to get advanced training (especially with regard to women). Yes, I had some issues, but nothing like what I have heard over these many years now as I have attempted to offer support to others. I offer my perspective in this blog, as you are welcome to in yours (although I do not see a web address here). The Watchtower organization was my affiliation until I went beyond it, and my support is to others in like communities of control.
I would disagree with you about the “small minority” question. In fact, JWs have only a 37% retention rate and the news is full of abuse and violence that is promulgated by those who have been affected by what I have to say are extremely unloving interpretations of scripture by highly unqualified people. I bear no ill will to JWs, but the leadership is bloodguilty by their own interpretation of scripture.
No-one can stop anyone from forming their own relationship to God and the cosmos. JWs used to criticize the Catholics for doing exactly what they do themselves. False prophets are everywhere. Hold fast to what is fine.
I don’t offer another “way” because I am not a guru and I feel that authentic spirituality is a life-long pursuit, full of joy and also dead-ends. It is up to each person in their heart to do what is right in their own eyes, and in what they can understand or believe about God’s eyes.
My view is not negative, except for the grief I feel for so many people suffering for a lack of the fruits of the spirit.
Peace be with you.
Dear Jim in the United States:
Taking into consideration the portion of your post starting with the words “Since no human can accurately know the motives of others, however, we must beware of judging others. “Who are you to judge the house servant of another?” to the end of the paragraph, please explain how you are able to rationalize your own behavior? You can’t.
Respectfullly,
~Laureth
Oh Jim – thanks so much for going out of your way to rate my blog a 1.8 out of 10 at Blogged. So nice.
Amen Jim, Amen. You make an incredibly cogent point when you say the Jehovah and his son will rate us on our hearts, not on our deeds. That is exactly why I left the truth. I felt that it was unnecessary for me to auxillary pioneer during school vacations, to be giving what used to be called “the no. 5 talk” in theocratic school, to be an active participent in Watchtower studies and the like, when all that was done to impress the other congregation members. It meant nothing to me, I was just showing off. But when I finally grasp the concept of God knows what’s in your heart, I said to heck with the congregation, I’ll let HIM be my judge, not the elders. So Amen again Jim, you hit the nail right on the head.
Oh and on Blog Catalog too! It’s a campaign…
http://www.blogcatalog.com/blogs/virushead-random-musings/comment/5
My apologies for any misinterpretation. I did not want my post to be an “assault”. We all have free will and a right to voice our opinions. I simply wish that those on the internet who desire to post articles and blogs regarding those in the world that allegedly have acted unethically or immorally could show an unbiased nature and, if they must publicize such things, compare the rate of those terrible things with the rate of the same issues found in other groups or associations. If you wish to highlight what you perceive as failings within the JW “organization”, prove to your readers how any or all other groups and organizations are “better”. In your response, to my previous post, you claim that the Jehovah’s Witnesses only have a 37% retention rate (inferring that 63% have seen “the light” somehow) but do not provide any source for that number.
You, in your blogs and articles, are totally correct … we need to individually search out for ourselves what “the truth” is. If you do not agree with what the Jehovah’s Witnesses understand to be God’s will, don’t listen, don’t read, don’t answer the door. The only reason I “posted” is that I feel (as is my right) that a educated person (however that education is achieved) should weigh all of the facts, make all of the comparisons, disclose all sources, if they decide that it is in others best interest to attempt to sway their personal opinions with your own.
BTW – I also agree with another counter-post which highlighted information I included in my original post that Jehovah (God) will judge. That person is absolutely correct and I apologize if I came across as judgmental. I suppose I was. Like you, Heidi, we search as best we can and make our own way. If you feel you have found a better way … I implore you to tell the world all about it but, for its own merits.
I hope that you find the happiness and hope for the future that you desire for yourself and your family.
My sincere regards -
Jim-in-the-US,
It heartens me to hear that the JW organization is bringing you comfort and security. Sadly for many of us, especially women, that organization brought only fear and neglect while shielding our abusers. As pointed out by others, you make the statement that it is not for us to judge while doing so yourself: the first hypocrisy of many organized religions the JWs claim to hate. How are you so different, if you are here, spreading the same behavior? You speak of negativity and demand Heidi bring only positive comments forward yet you brought negativity here yourself. She did not seek you out and target you with accusations and condemnation; do you really think your Jehovah or Jesus would approve of your behavior? When did Jesus ever speak so disrespectfully to a person with whom he was debating? You mock Heidi’s degree repeatedly. Do you really expect anyone to engage in a discussion with you when your first volley demonstrates your utter lack of civility and courtesy?
Your rating and comments are inappropriate here since you issue a challenge yet provide no forum in which to meet it. Surely, you cannot expect that Heidi will simply turn her space over to your purposes because you say so. If you have something you want to point out, you should create your own blog in which to do so. Do you expect that Heidi will now do your work for you and publish a glowing review of an organization she (and the rest of us) have found to be corrupt and imperfect as any other? I’m sorry but if it is your wish to publish the “good news” about your organization, the burden must fall to you faithful sheep. We, the goats, know too much.
Once more, if your relationship with the Watchtower association brings you joy and comfort, then I wish you well in your endeavors. If you wish to put forth positive viewpoints about your chosen life-path, I urge you to create a blog and publish to your heart’s content. If you wish to engage in a lively debate about the merits (and possible drawbacks) of that path, please provide a space to do so. If it is only your wish to disrupt and condemn, I would beg you to move on. Those who come to Heidi have often been emotionally damaged by congregations of your faith. They come here because they are looking for to communicate with one another and attempt to heal without judgment and condemnation. They aren’t harming you and yours, please allow them to find that peace as you have found yours.
Jim – If you had read all of the JW posts and their related comments, you might not have all the things to say that you say here. I feel that you sought out my blog, but perhaps that’s not the case. The source for the retention rate is linked to the words – hover over it and you can click through to the study. It’s actually a study on Mormons, but it has a comparative statistic on JWs for retention. I think the number speaks for itself, since there are diverse reasons for it. I’ve published sources for some of what I’ve said, some is from my own experiences, some is from the news and other sites, some is from offering support to others and hearing their narratives.
It is up to each to find the way to orient toward God and get on their own spiritual path – it’s part of a life’s meaning to do that. I cannot tell someone else what that is, and I mistrust those who do. The basic principles are in fact very simple, but each person is unique and has different gifts and challenges.
You tell me not to read, not to answer the door. I’ve had some amazing dialogues with people – including JWs – about all sorts of religious questions. Why would I not follow my own path of learning to ask better questions? Why would I not be open to dialogue and hear insights of others?
My objection has to do more with a basic lack of caring and kindness than anything else. Some of the things I’ve witnessed and heard about are heartbreaking in the extreme.
Just as a side note, it would have been better to have this discussion on a post that actually had something about JWs in it.
Laureth – Thank you for pointing out the obvious disconnect. Perhaps it plants a seed in some small way.
Peter – I think your central point washed over and through, but that happens sometimes in these discussions.
Christy – Thank you for that well-balanced reply. You and I (and others) remember living in the space of Jim’s point of view, and he (and others) are certainly welcome to air it if it is done with civility.
If nothing else, it gives everyone a little refresher about some things that are difficult to articulate to oneself but are easy to recognize when you see them again. Think how different things are now!
Love and light.
Heidi, you’re right. It is an obvious disconnect. I was amused at the humour value in it. Sadly, I’ve never really understood well the way people seem to argue over forcing people to believe in any certain way. The right path should be evident to any true seeker, and should bring the feeling of joy and freedom to the soul and fill it with positive energy. Not hard. If one’s path brings pain, anger and hatred towards another, well what kind of path is that?
~Laureth
Dear Jim in the U.S.-
I grew up as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses. My parents joined the organization when I was 5 and left it by the time I was 8 or 9. I continued to serve Jehovah until I was 33 years old. The circumstances surrounding my exit from the organization were not of my making. That said, I simply could not stay any longer. The lack of compassion and kindness during an extremely difficult and violent time in my life completely changed my view of and feelings about the organization/god/whatever that I had spent my entire life serving.
Of all of the websites that I have explored during my attempts to understand my experience as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses, Heidi’s site is the one I return to again and again. She is neither hateful nor defaming. She simply lays out what she knows and learns without judgement or malice. Heidi is supportive to those of us who are looking for answers on this journey of ours. There are other sites across the web that indeed spout hatefulness and venom about the witnesses. This is not a place where that happens and if it were, I certainly would not continue to visit here.
You said: If you wish to highlight what you perceive as failings within the JW “organization”, prove to your readers how any or all other groups and organizations are “better”.
Heidi does not have to prove anything to her readers. She isn’t trying to convert anyone to any other religion or way of life. She offers support and kindness and compassion to those of us who are working to comprehend what is sometimes uncomprehendable. As far as I can tell, she simply presents information and leaves it there for others to do with what they will. Individuals such as yourself who periodically show up here to harangue her for her views, call her apostate and abuse her in varying nasty and quite unchristian ways really have no business doing so.
If the folks who sometimes commit this drive by slandering and nastiness in what is otherwise a peaceful place are indeed the Witnesses they claim to be, they are most definitely not following what I know to be the direction of Jehovah’s organization. Visiting websites deemed as “apostate” is definitely frowned upon. The attacks on Heidi and her views definitely do not follow Jesus’ command to love one another.
I, personally, want to take this moment to thank Heidi for all the support and kindness she has offered me during my years of visiting her online. This place has been a haven; a comfort and a light in the darkness during what has been a difficult and tumultuous experience..
Traci – Thank you so much for “getting” me, and I deeply appreciate your understanding and friendship. That, I think, is what creates that haven – friendship, kindness, understanding. (hugs)
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