I’m concentrating on sailing through choppy waters in most of the aspects of my daily existence.

• I’ve lost a dear mentor and friend from University of Massachusetts, and I’m not ready to write about it yet. I’m also still thinking about other deaths…
• My mom has just moved from intensive care to a rehab hospital after breaking ribs and puncturing her lung.
• I’m grieved about the escalation of hatred from some people on the right who are far too easily manipulated – and/or used.
• The involvement of smart people – that I care about – in this anti-Obama movement is difficult to bear.
• My compassion level has declined, and I’m tired.
• I’ve gained a little weight, and I feel chubby and old.
• I feel underappreciated.
• My little boy is growing too fast, and I miss my baby.
• It irritates me when I catch myself saying things that older people used to say to me.
• My pro-active plans in every area are just not working out.
• I’ve got some very wonderful close friends, but my best friends live too *too* far away and I miss them.
• I feel guilty for feeling sorry for myself.
• I’m mooning around, and yet I can’t seem to relax.
• My house is – again – a big mess. I have a ton of work to do, and I’m having trouble motivating myself to do it. It’s raining, and I just want to read a novel in bed…
• I don’t have much patience with myself for these feelings.

So – basically, I’ve been in too much of a funk to write anything of any interest.

All I’ve been able to do recently is to pass items on in Facebook.

Hope to be back soon…

This post is for arguing the pros and cons of the actual bill, ok?

Civil dialogue, only, please. Stick to topic and argue the actual bill!

Ready Jonathan? Ready Phil? Ready Michael? Anyone else that wants to join in?

Here is your forum. Make your case. See if you can be fair and adhere to the rules of civil dialogue. Maybe then some points could arise that are actually important to everyone.

Here’s how this specific conversation started on Facebook:

I posted this link:

Swastika painted at Georgia congressman’s office – Yahoo! News – Someone spray-painted a large swastika on a sign outside the office of a Georgia congressman who was involved in a contentious argument over health care at a recent community meeting.

And this comment:

“So, this is Georgia and I’m confused. Is this an accusation or a proclamation?”

Feedback from Friends

Michael: Atrocities of WWII aside, that really can’t ever be put aside… EVER.. I’m actually kinda’ impressed that they have both the direction and the tilt correct.. given the usual pool of suspects, anyway. Unlike the one who painted it onto the Plymouth Rock backward… and was caught..

Heidi:
There’s a disconnect for me though. Rush, Limbaugh, etc. have been comparing Obama/Democrats to the Nazis all week, without being aware of the resurgence of the KKK and those sorts of attitudes among their base? Unlikely. Maybe it’s just especially weird here, this week.

Michael:
meh… he’s a clown who’s paid to fill a time slot.. you’d think by now people would wise up against per-minute ideology.

Phil: Typical. The sub-moronic trailer trash who are being goaded and funded to trash the nigg… I mean, that esteemed gentleman of color who happens to be president, praise Jesus and may the man die slowly… lack any apparent form of irony, rationality, intellect or historical knowledge. They DO, however, appear to know how to use spray paint. I guess all those opposable thumbs aren’t totally going to waste!

Phil: PS: Just in case my meaning was not totally clear, I am NOT referring to Obama by any form of racial slur. I am reflecting a sad truth about those who are so vehemently opposed to anything and everything the man does. At heart, they’re just terrified of a colored president, and will believe – or do – anything to counter that apparently terrifying reality.

Jonathan: I’m one of those who dislike the President’s policy decisions. I couldn’t care less what color he is. His policies scare me. Most frightening is the clear difference between his public words, and his actions. In other realms, that would be called lying.

Phil: *sighs*

The “lying” here, Jonathan, is being done by Obama’s opponents. Thanks for being one more American taken in by the high-stakes con-game being run to keep us shackled to the insurance companies! You are buying the lies wholesale, and we’re all paying the bill. If you want to know the truth, READ THE DAMNED PLAN, not the utter fabrications about the plan being spread by Sarah Palin’s lackeys and masters. It’s called “lying,” all right, but Obama isn’t the one doing it.

Phil: And as for “frightened,” be frightened by the people who are starting riots and inciting hatred at town hall meetings. This was done before, Jonathan, using exactly the same playbook. Germany, 1933. Look it up, and see who’s REALLY playing Hitler now.

Jonathan:
Wow. Do you have your tinfoil hat on to block the mind control impulses from the evil republican-neo-cons? We do have that vast right-wing conspiracy including insurance companies…

On a serious note, I’ve only seen/read excerpts from the bill, and those sections are disturbing. How about I post some links to those sections which clearly contradict the Obama rhetoric about the bill? I won’t have time until tomorrow night though. Gotta do laundry.

Phil: Who needs tinfoil hats? All you need is half a brain. As for the “mind control,” it’s quite simple, really: lies, lies, and more lies, backed up by utter fabricated hysteria from Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin and FOX News. Utter. Complete. Fabrications. No evil conspiracies necessary. Just the old Vladimir Lenin truism: “A lie told often enough … Read Morebecomes the truth.”

Regarding the insurance companies, please watch the interview with former Sigma executive Wendell Potter; in it, he tells Bill Moyers exactly what they do, why they do it, and how they get away with it… including a mention of the “third-party dirty work” that would be employed to stop health care reform attempts. See http://www.pbs.org/moyers/journal/07102009/watch2.html

As for the proposed bill, see: http://thomas.loc.gov/home/gpoxmlc111/h3200_ih.xml

Start from here – or start from your own concerns.

I’ve updated Gantt Project on my computer, and it’s not very friendly at all. It’s not the fault of the programmers. I’m sure they are totally fantastic, and I can’t complain about having a groovy open-source program to do this stuff. I’m just not sold on the value of spending all this time to do something that seems so obvious. Just make a list, delegate some tasks, and get to work!

I don’t know all the random things that will start popping up, so I’ll actually have to spend time updating the thing, too. Maybe daily. Oh brother.

The whole thing is so subjective. How should I know how long this particular task is going to take? How should I know the percent complete?

So I have an end date. And a begin date. And some milestones that I know.

I guess the trick would be to figure out which tasks can go on simultaneously, and which tasks are dependent on other tasks. That gives me a certain amount of parallel processing. But if some of the resources – the subject matter experts – the doers – are tasked on multiple things, then they’re probably not going to be working on many things at the same time. And then – they have other things to do, too. That can become political, since then you have to get decisions on priority.

There is an implicit methodology, but I don’t yet grasp its ins and outs – and I’m fairly sure that I don’t entirely agree with some of the premises.

To be valuable, it seems as though there should be a master resource database where common tasks have historical data on how long it actually takes to complete. Most of these things could be templated and conceptually modeled with a different system. Then there would be some mediating functionality to enter in whatever bits of data that you know have to be added and the chart would then be produced automatically. The chart is just a a graphical output.

I don’t think in terms of charts. That’s not my “learning style.” To work with charting as a tool seems wasteful – you’re always reinventing everything. I guess a real project manager would have the internal knowledge-base to make better charts, but my estimations are bound to be off. Nevertheless – here is the drop-dead date for the project. And here is the drop-dead date for delivery of the chart.

This is more subjective than grading essays, but it pretends to be some sort of hard data.

Usually I’m invigorated by learning new things, but this doesn’t interest me at all. This is like word problems with trains – I want to banish them forever.

Bah. It’s not that I can’t do it. If I couldn’t do it, it would just be a matter of some research and/or training to remedy the problem.

No, it’s worse than that because I don’t want to do it. Doing things I don’t want to do is incredibly difficult for me. That sounds so childish, I know. We all do things we don’t want to do all the time. I’ve got to unjam this wall of resistance now. Otherwise, I’ll be up all night fighting it and I’ll make life unnecessarily harsh for myself. So I’ve got to trick myself into doing it instead of focusing on that dread in my stomach.

This brings me back to the days of writing my dissertation. Not to be TMI, but menstrual cramps are not helping the situation.

Maybe I’ll just chart out the tasks as a plain old list, where I can rearrange everything and figure out the task dependencies, and then just transfer that to the program as the last step. Some background music might help with that. I can be enjoying my last weekend day – and enjoying the fact that because I have to do this, I don’t have to do some other stuff that otherwise I would be doing – and make it as painfree as possible.

Sounds like a plan.

But…. ooooooooooh, I hate Gantt charts.

It’s basically a catchall for all the things that make me beam and smile and light me up inside.

You know, in case of emergency.

I think I still have some Swiss Kriss – my secret weapon – around here somewhere. This stuff is the only thing I know about that might help, since I’ve started wheezing now. Swiss Kriss is a laxative tea. I’ve never actually tasted it, but the combination of herbs is powerful.

Here’s what to do:

1. Prepare a space on the counter, and grab a big towel.
2. Get a nice wide pot and boil some water in it.
3. Throw in a bunch of the Swiss Kriss tea.
4. Turn the heat down to a simmer.
5. Make it at least double the strength of tea that you’d drink, steeping for at least five minutes.
6. Carefully transfer the pot onto the counter.
7. Drape the towel over the back of your head like a parachute, to catch as much of the steam as you can.
8. Be careful not to burn yourself. Gradually move into the steam.
9. Take regular, deep breaths through your nose and mouth.
10. Almost immediately, your sinuses will drain.
11. Then your face will sweat, and you’ll start coughing.
12. Continue to breathe in the herbal steam for at least 10 minutes.

This clears out all the gunk in your sinuses and in your lungs, and it’s even good for your skin. I usually follow up with a nice long shower to amplify the effect.

I’m really sensitive to decongestants and antihistamines and I try to avoid both. This more mechanical method has always been a lot more effective for me.

I honestly don’t know anything that more predictably awakens my love for humanity than listening to these recordings. All the complexities and quirks of human being are there, and those things are always kind of new and surprising and wonderful.

I started listening to try to improve my skill at writing dialogue. I wanted to listen to a range of “real voices” very quickly. But I fell in love with it. Listening to the experiences of others is a form of loving. It is a form of spiritual practice, one I tend not to value enough in the world of everyday existence.

You can’t listen to many of these and continue to think in exclusively negative terms about people. During this election season, I’ve been desperate enough that I have even gone back into the archives. They are short. Sweet. Highly recommended.

The podcasts are supported by the Fetzer Institute as part of its Campaign for Love and Forgiveness (loveandforgive.org). All the recordings are being saved for the Library of Congress and, if you know someone with an interesting experience to relate, you can arrange to record that story, too.

Listening to people telling their stories helps us all to remember and to really feel why hating or fearing other people is not going to be any kind of solution to anything.

It sounds trite, but when mind and body and spirit are in agreement, it’s a powerful thing, and we have so few opportunities for that sometimes. I could feel the endorphins flood my system. No kidding.

Really paying attention also develops the inclination to do so more often – and with more people, and a wider range of people. Sometimes there are amazing experiences that people have undervalued for years… the woman who would not be deterred from voting, the romance that took decades to come to fruition, the very first jumpshot, the reason why Grampa grins when you say that word. There are stories all around you.

Beliefs and values come from the stories of people’s lives. One thing that everyone could do is to ask! “Have you experienced something that informed your view of this issue?” Maybe if we shared our stories more often, we might start to understand how to negotiate through some of the more difficult issues we face. Maybe if we listened to people who have had different experiences than we have, it might help to heal all the communication pathologies that are so clearly evident today. When you listen, and read, and think about real experiences from different perspectives and places and times, it also makes you a little more impervious to manipulation.

The heart of StoryCorps is the conversation between two people who are important to each other: a son asking his mother about her childhood, an immigrant telling his friend about coming to America, or a couple reminiscing on their 50th wedding anniversary. By helping people to connect, and to talk about the questions that matter, the StoryCorps experience is powerful and sometimes even life-changing.

Our goal is to make that experience accessible to all, and find new ways to inspire people to record and preserve the stories of someone important to them. Everybody’s story matters and every life counts.

Just as powerful is the experience of listening. Whenever people listen to these stories, they hear the courage, the humor, the trials and triumphs of an incredible range of voices.

By listening closely to one another, we can help illuminate the true character of this nation reminding us all just how precious each day can be and how truly great it is to be alive.

-Dave Isay, Founder, StoryCorps

On the home page, there is a subject index for you to pick a topic. Enjoy.

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