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It was truly a lovely wedding.

Aletta looked radiant, Matt was clearly nervous but very happy.

Everything went smoothly, everyone had a great time.

It brought tears to my eyes to look around the room and to see so many people that I love.

I am a bit sentimental, I’ll admit. Seeing the pride and joy on my Uncle Ronnie’s face as he escorted Aletta down the aisle filled me with so much gratitude and love I almost couldn’t stand it.

I felt the same way when I saw my Aunt Ute (in a flowing black suit) running down the meadow to make sure that all the children were included in photos…

Micaela, my other cousin, was really on top of her game. Married life, children, and a fulfilling job agree with her, and have transformed her – she is beautiful, confident, a goddess. Really.

My favorite part of the ceremony was when the married women had a chance to come up and whisper a piece of advice or some other comment into Aletta’s ear. Yes, you know I wasn’t sitting there saying nothing, right? So I whispered, “Remember how much you respect him today. Civility goes a long way. Please and thank you.”

What was even better, in a way, is when the officiant (a very nice woman) said, “We don’t want be discriminatory, so the married men are now welcome to step up to offer a word to Matt.” I somehow think that wasn’t planned. One guy said something very urgently, then stepped back and did that thing where he points to his own eyes and then points to Matt’s eyes. There was good-natured laughter. The room was full of love. The energy of the whole ceremony was terrific.

We were out there on a covered deck, looking out on a meadow worthy of a 19th-century pastoral poet. It was a beautiful day, shining, with a refreshing breeze. Aletta and Matt were beaming, and there were moments of reflection and humor that drew us all in as a community. We really felt that we were there to witness to their bond and to be there to safeguard and help them always.

The reception was fun. I really hit it off with Matt’s aunt Pam, who turns out to be just a couple of years older than me (yikes), a nurse in Durham. We ended up dancing together a bit (how do women in their forties get to dance otherwise, when husbands are not in attendance?). I really like her a lot and we have much in common. Besides, she has those Susan Sarandon eyes that I always love, and a sense of humor that matches mine… Wish I’d gotten a pic of her! We initiated a circle-dance of women around Matt – very tribal and fun.

My brother Roy and Patty danced at almost a professional level, as always, although I couldn’t get the DJ to play the Kinks’ “Come Dancing” – which was always his fave.

I thoroughly enjoyed myself, and had lots of great conversation, reacquainting myself with several people and also meeting several new people, including a couple of people that I had heard much about but had never had the pleasure to have met before. Everyone was friendly and open. Their company was a balm to my soul.

The only thing I regret was that I didn’t think to try to get a photograph of my extended family there. Roy and I didn’t make it into the group photos, but in my experience those aren’t the ones you look at anyway. I had a camera, and I just didn’t think of trying to get Roy and Patty and me and Aletta and Matt and Micaela and Michael and Katy and Alex and Ron and Ute all into a photo.

Both Aletta’s wedding and Micaela’s wedding were wonderful, but I have to admit that I enjoyed this one more. I was more relaxed (and it probably didn’t hurt that I wasn’t pregnant!).

I am so proud of my dear cousins. I am so proud of you, dear women of my heart.

Thank you, thank you to the whole clan. You rock, and I love you.

(More photos)

I can’t write any more tonight, but I did set up the wedding photo album.

Caption suggestions are welcome (grin).

I’ll write all about the actual event as soon as I can.

I was just entering my room at the Stagecoach Inn in Groton when my cousin Micaela almost ran into me. She didn’t recognize me immediately, but she did a double-take and we did the girl huggy thing in the hall. She looks terrific. The last time I saw her was at her wedding, when I was pregnant with Ben. Micaela, Aletta and I are the three female Ph.D.s in the family. I couldn’t be more proud of my two cousins – they are intelligent, grounded, wonderful women and I unabashedly adore them.

Everyone was crowded into her parents’ room (my Uncle Ronnie and Aunt Ute). I was introduced to everyone. It looked like they were pretty well blasted (hee hee) but all they had left was some white wine. After a few minutes, Uncle Ronnie went downstairs with me. There was a little bar next to the restaurant where a band was playing, and he treated me to a beer.

We ran into one of his best friends there. I’m not sure how he feels about being mentioned by name, so I won’t. He got his Ph.D. in music structure and theory the year before I finished my own diss, and was the flautist at the wedding the next day. His wife was charming and fun, and I enjoyed talking with her about public school nutrition (she’s in charge of that where she is – it seems to be a lot worse in Georgia than there) and a range of other topics.

When we got back upstairs, I passed Micaela in the hall again – she was headed to bed. Her wonderful hubby Michael and her two truly adorable children were already fast asleep. She told us that the room was closed up and everyone had gone to bed.

I had a very good night’s sleep and a leisurely morning talking with everyone in the lobby and on the porch. I managed to get some coffee too (always a good thing) but passed on the sticky danish selection.

Problem! The flowers were supposed to arrive at noon, but they had a wedding rehearsal at 12:30 and then the wedding at 2:30. A tight schedule… a little too tight. So I changed back into work wear, and headed over to Gibbett Hill.

The kids were really funny to watch. Three of them were standing at the edge of the meadow. In the next meadow over there were some cows, or cattle, or bulls. I’m not sure – they were brown and kind of far away. The kids were counting to three and screaming “MOOO” at them.

The centerpieces were a little complicated to put together. There was a crystal vase, which was layered at the bottom with clear and red stones. Then we’d fill the vase almost to the top with water, carefully drop in a red orchid with a fishing weight on it, and try to bury the weight under the stones a bit. Then we’d adjust the water as necessary and put a round floating candle on the top. There were twelve of these to be done. I thought we did a good job (I had help from a few other women).

Then there were extra flowers, so I scattered a few petals around each centerpiece. That’s when Aletta found me and mentioned that they didn’t have anything planned for the top of the cake (Matt prefers pie anyway…. smile). She asked me if I would arrange some of the flower petals on the top of the cake. Here’s how it turned out.

When I finished that, I saw that there was a box of little blue candle holders open. Hmmm. A lot of unopened boxes… After some running around to find the wedding planner, I was able to find out that they were candles for the table of placecards. I pretty much destroyed my nails getting the stickers off the bottom of the candles, but I got some help and finally Aletta said not to bother with that.

Here’s mine!

The names for each of the tables were funny and clever, including for example a table Google and a table Infinity. I was seated at table -40, with my brother Roy, and Patty, and… but I’ll save that for later.

When one woman started making sure each candle and card were spaced evenly, I took it as my cue to get changed. I didn’t have much time. I dashed out to the car and set off the alarm somehow. That was charming, especially when I couldn’t get it to turn off right away.

I got changed, and gave Roy a call on my cellphone to see if he was getting close to arrival. “We’re already here,” he said, “just coming into the parking lot.” Out of the corner of my eye I saw a large vehicle entering the lot and I started waving. Right – they were already parked. I never did find out who was in the truck – I hope he thought I was an official greeter or something (ha).

We were late getting into Longmeadow. My brother Roy, wife Patty, and son Dylan had already been there for a few hours. It was so great to be able to spend some time with them. We rarely get to see one another anymore. Dylan was so totally adorable – he’s such a perfect mix of Roy and Patty. When Roy was little, his hair was just like that, and he had those really long eyelashes (I always envied them), and he made some of the same faces. It’s uncanny to see. And yet, I can really see Patty in him too.

We kicked off our shoes and made ourselves at home. Ben and Dylan played pretty well together despite the difference in age. Ben was actually the one who took this photo of Dylan – isn’t it great? More on that below.

My uncle Ronnie has always been one of my most favorite men on the planet. I can’t even begin to list the many ways in which he has influenced me and supported me – he’s always been there. I wouldn’t have gone to college at all, but he persuaded me. I had some great conversations with my Aunt Ute while we were there. She has recently retired from her job. After so many years of working the night shift in a lab, she is really enjoying the personal freedom to do what she likes to do. She is taking a class to learn all the intricacies of playing bridge (after talking with her, I’m starting to get a sense of how complicated the game can be!). They are planning their next big trip – this time to New Zealand. I can’t wait to hear all about it and to see the photos when they get back.

We had the pleasure of meeting my Cousin Aletta’s fiancee Matt. We liked him very much, and can see that they will be good together. The thing I noticed most was that Aletta looked so happy whenever he was around. The wedding will be another reason to travel back here – yay! She is finishing up her Ph.D., winding up for the big finish, and she and John talked science for a while. I was enjoying just listening in on the conversation. (That’s how interesting it was – I actually shut up – grin).

My aunt and uncle’s house is the perfect place to meet for a family gathering. I love to explore and find new beautiful objects there, noticing designs and ways of organizing things. (I’ve been cleaning and rethinking our space since I got back!). There is a main room that sits up high and has incredibly comfortable couches and chairs. There is a fireplace, and a deck off the main room. The kitchen is a couple of stairs down (and had been redone since the last time I was able to visit), and you walk through it to the formal dining room where there is also a piano.

I have many happy memories of listening to my Uncle play the piano in that room. My one regret about this family visit is that he had hurt his thumb and couldn’t play much beyond “Twinkle, twinkle” and “Happy Birthday”.

All of the meals were delicious there (they had the eggcups in the morning! and bacon! and homemade jam!), but the Thanksgiving feast was exceptionally yummy. I even had seconds, which I hardly ever do. We attempted to celebrate my cousin Aletta’s birthday, which was a couple of days later, and my nephew Dylan’s birthday, which is in a couple of days from now.

We made a fatal error, however – actually it was me. Mea culpa, totally my fault. I sent Ben out with Aletta’s pie first! Well, Dylan was really excited about blowing out the candle, and he was not happy at all when the pie (with the lit candle) was placed in front of Aletta. Even bringing out his own pie with a candle didn’t really solve the problem. He had just woken up, and in addition to thinking that the whole candle-blowing event might be taken from him, I think he was also trying to work out where fire goes when it’s gone. He had been asking about the fire in the fireplace, too.

Ben was in heaven the whole time. He always adores Patty, and this visit was no exception. In addition to that lovefest, he also got to know Ute and Aletta. Ute took Ben for a couple of walks around the neighborhood, and talked to him at length, and even tickled him! Aletta listened intently as he explained – in great detail – his favorite Playstation2 game (the players, the levels, what you have to do). He’s been talking about Aletta and Ute and Patty ever since. I wish I had the “village” (as in, it takes one) here in Atlanta.

Ben took a lot of photos. In addition to that great picture of Dylan, he took these:

We talked to other family members that couldn’t come to visit. My brother Michael and his family stayed in Atlanta – Dotty is too close to her due date to travel. My mom Nancy and grandmother Evelyn couldn’t make it either. Everybody got a chance to talk to everybody, at least -except for Cousin Micaela. She and hubby Michael and their kids are out in Seattle. We couldn’t reach them, but I left a voicemail. I’m hoping to see them in March, and if not – they are bound to come to Aletta’s wedding!

We never talked about gratefulness, but all the things to be grateful for were palpable. Thank you for the best Thanksgiving I can remember! Hugs to all from Heidi, John and Ben!

We drove back to Boston, returned the rental car, and got past security early enough to change our flight to an earlier one. We still had enough time – on Friday afternoon – to get a bite to eat at the airport. Can it be? Legal Seafoods has a “Test Kitchen” almost directly across from our gate? Ohhh. I had freshly shucked lobster and avocado wrap. I was sorely tempted to have a cup of chowder. We had a great meal – at the airport. Wow.

I never thought that I would miss New England. I wasn’t sad to leave it when I moved to Iowa, and then to Atlanta. It has taken me many years to realize all the aspects of life there that I really appreciate. Every place has its pros and cons, and there are many positive things about Atlanta. I love the weather here, and the flowers, and I’ve made great friends here, too. We have a nicer house than we could afford to own in New England. Still, it’s become clear to me that the core of me is a New Englander still. That I’m a liberal yankee in a very red state is only part of the story. I was blinking back tears as the plane turned toward Atlanta.