VirusHead - Mutating bits of contagious discourse, because language is a virus.

Police giving away guns in Tennessee. Sigh.
Radio announcement via Every Stretch of the Imagination:
S[...] County Fraternal Order of Police, [...] Lodge #··, will host a dinner Saturday, June 24, from 11:00AM until 5:00PM at the W[...] Municipal Building. Tickets are $10.00 each and are on sale now. Donors are eligible to win one of four [...]

P.R. 101 for Vice-Presidents: Handy Tips for good P.R. when you accidentally (woops!) shoot somebody in the face.

Take at least 18 hours to try to figure out what the heck to say to the Press
Don’t drink any more alcohol.
Send off a check soonest for the quail hunting license you were supposed to have [...]

Courant.com | Lockdown In Search For Beating Suspect
Joseph Ambrose, 55, is charged with attempted murder, first-degree assault and first-degree kidnapping of his estranged wife.
Two of the couple’s four children were home while he beat his wife. Ambrose is a member of the local Canton (Connecticut) congregation of Jehovah’s Witnesses.
Police found several rifles at the rented [...]