VirusHead

I want to work for Google.

TIME: Life in the Googleplex Photo Essay

Call me. I’m a perfect quirky PhD – I’ll fit right in! I could head your ethics department, for example.

Bright Eyes sang this on the Tonight Show.

When The President Talks To God

When the president talks to God
Are the conversations brief or long?
Does he ask to rape our women’s rights
And send poor farm kids off to die?
Does God suggest an oil hike
When the president talks to God?

When the president talks to God
Are the consonants all hard or soft?
Is he resolute all down the line?
Is every issue black or white?
Does what God say ever change his mind
When the president talks to God?

When the president talks to God
Does he fake that drawl or merely nod?
Agree which convicts should be killed?
Where prisons should be built and filled?
Which voter fraud must be concealed
When the president talks to God?

When the president talks to God
I wonder which one plays the better cop
We should find some jobs. the ghetto’s broke
No, they’re lazy, George, I say we don’t
Just give ‘em more liquor stores and dirty coke
That’s what God recommends

When the president talks to God
Do they drink near beer and go play golf
While they pick which countries to invade
Which Muslim souls still can be saved?
I guess god just calls a spade a spade
When the president talks to God

When the president talks to God
Does he ever think that maybe he’s not?
That that voice is just inside his head
When he kneels next to the presidential bed
Does he ever smell his own bullshit
When the president talks to God?

I doubt it

I doubt it

Thanks Dr Bev!

Some miscellaneous jokes for those of you who are trying to activate or maintain a sense of humor.

Famed fictional detective Sherlock Holmes and his gruff assistant Doctor Watson pitch their tent while on a camping expedition, but in the middle of the night Holmes nudges Watson awake and questions him.

HOLMES: Watson, look up at the stars and tell me what you deduce.

WATSON: I see millions of stars, and if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it is quite likely there are some planets like earth, and if there are a few planets like earth out there there might also be life.

HOLMES: Watson, you idiot! Somebody stole our tent.

Two Scottish nuns have just arrived in the USA by boat and one says to the other, ” I hear that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs.”

“Odd,” her companion replies, ” But if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do.”

Nodding emphatically, the mother superior points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk towards it.

“Two dogs, please.” Says the mother superior. The vendor is only too pleased to oblige and he wraps both hot dogs in foil. Excited, the nuns hurry over to a bench and begin to unwrap their ‘dogs’.

The mother superior is first to open hers, then, staring at it for a moment, leans over to the other nun and whispers cautiously, “What part of the dog did you get?”

“Dear Lord,” he began with arms extended and a rapturous look on his upturned face, “without you we are but dust…”

He would have continued, but at that moment one little girl leaned over to her mother and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, “Mommy, what is ‘butt dust’?”

An Alabama State Trooper stopped a pickup truck. He asked the driver, “Got any ID?” The driver said, “Bout what?”

A blonde went to an appliance store sale and found a bargain. “I would like to buy this TV,” she told the salesman.

“Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied.

She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, “I would like to buy this TV.”

“Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied.

“Darn, he recognized me,” she thought.

She went for a complete disguise this time: a brown curly wig, big baggy clothes, and big sunglasses. Then she waited a few days before she approached the salesman again and said, “I would like to buy this TV.”

“Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied

Frustrated, she exclaimed, “How do you know I’m a blonde?”

“Because that’s a microwave,” he replied.

“As fighting in Iraq intensifies, President Bush delivered his supplemental war budget to Congress. The money will cover 30 days of fighting, then we’ll be sent one war every other month until we cancel our subscription.” – Craig Kilborn

“Bush the younger has two things going for him that his father never had. One: an easy charm with regular people and two: the power to make them disappear without a trial.” – Bill Maher

“President Bush unveiled his new economic stimulus plan this week. It was reported that if the plan passes the president himself would save $44,000 in taxes, Dick Cheney would save $327,000, and you could afford to take the whole family down to Burger King to pick up job applications.” – Tina Fey, SNL

The White House announced today that next month Vice President Dick Cheney will get a colonoscopy. It’s important that you get these on a regular basis. You know, the last time he had one, they found one polyp and three oil company executives up there. – Jay Leno, July 8, 2005

indymedia.us :: International Day of Protest on the second anniversary of the U.S. invasion of Iraq

Some photos from all over the USA, and all over the World.

From signs:

Support the troops – bring them home
Dissent Protects Democracy
Who Would Jesus Bomb?
War is Terror
Drop Bush Not Bombs
It’s about Lives for Oil and Nothing about Freedom
Students Not Soliders
No To Imperialism Militarism and Bush
Iraq War is Anti-Christian
Making a Killing with Your Money
No War but Class War
Who Dies for Bush Lies?
Warning – You are Buying War, Poverty, Greed, and Fear
Third World Within (on a map of a bleeding USA)
9/11 Unanswered Questions: Why did FBI HQ block investigations in NY, Minneapolis, and Phoenix?
Iraquis aren’t Cheerleaders (with a photo from Abu Ghraib)
Jail Time for War Crimes
Destroy the War Machine
College Not Combat
War Loves to Prey on the Young
When Christ Disarmed Peter, he Disarmed Every Soldier
Dumbo – “Bring Them On”
Violence Breeds Violence
Books Not Bombs
Stop the Poverty Draft
Stop the War Junkies
Where are the WMDs?
Not Our President
Not in Our Name
War is Not the Answer
80% Unemployment in Harlem
Every Day a Soldier Dies for Cheney’s Oil and Bush’s Lies
Anything War can Do, Peace Can Do Better
Give Peace a Chance
Death is Forever
US Troops Out of the Middle East
Another Woman for Peace
Osama Toppled 2 Buildings, Bush Toppled Peace, Freedom and Democracy
21st Cent. terrorist murders -Bin Laden 3,000, Bush 15,000
Lee Harvey, where are you?
Bush Quit Your Vile War, Deal with WHY They Hate Us
Viva La Paz
End Occupation Corporate Exploitation Iraq to Haiti
Stop Imperialism
Why Aren’t You Outraged?
Uncle Sam Iraq will be your Vietnam
Anti-Bush – Pro-Schools
No War for Oil
US Out of the Middle East
History Will Condemn Us
Vietnam Mistake Iraq Bigger Mistake
A US Occupation is Still an Occupation
Use Law Not War
Liars
Military Families Say Bring Them Home Now
Bring Them Home
Money for Jobs and Education Not War
Don’t Send Our Troops to Commit Your War Crimes
Stop the Back Door Draft
Fight Corporate End Racist War
Separation Corporations and State
Silence is Acceptance
No War Between Nations, No Peace Between Classes
No More
Stop the War

And from Protests Outside the US:

Only Democracies May Commit Mass Murder According to the American Empire
One Million Children
Another World is Possible
End the Occupation of Iraq and Palestine
No More War
Is This Your Peace Fu…ng Capitalists?
Global No
Troops Out Now
No to American Terrorism, No to Islamic Terrorism
Violence Leads to Violence
Bush (with a swastika for the S)
Latin Amerika Rebelde y Anti-Kapitali$ta
Bush the Tiny Tyrant
Put Bush, the war criminal, on trial
Support the Right to Resistance in Iraq and Palestine
No More Bush Wars
Bliar Bliar Iraq’s on Fire
No Nukes
Bush terrorist number one of the world
No to War Profiteering
“2-4-6-8, F..k The Police State
Oil War
All Out Iraq Now
Occupation is Not Freedom

“War is everywhere: a global war against humanity in which our bodies, the air we breathe, the water that we drink, what we are taught, the stories we tell and are told … become commodities bought and sold in an open market. Whether in the Iraqi killing fields or a prepaid drought in Phiri, Soweto, the logic is the same: the rule of money and the market over all of life – the logic of neoliberalism.” -South Africa IndyMedia

Here’s what we should all be pulling for – it’s from FDR’s “Four Freedoms speech,” on January 6, 1941:

“The basic things expected by our people of their political and economic systems are simple. They are:

Equality of opportunity for youth and for others.

Jobs for those who can work.

Security for those who need it.

The ending of special privilege for the few.

The preservation of civil liberties for all.

The enjoyment of the fruits of scientific progress in a wider and constantly rising standard of living.

These are the simple, the basic things that must never be lost sight of in the turmoil and unbelievable complexity of our modern world. The inner and abiding strength of our economic and political systems is dependent upon the degree to which they fulfill these expectations.”

To the extent that our current regime certainly appears to be against all or most of these goals, I am opposed to their agenda. Isn’t it time they recalled what their duties to the United States of American really are? Or, as many think, do they know and remember, and simply not care?