Tag Archives: JWs

From a Current Jehovah’s Witness

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Once in a while, I receive a non-hostile email from a current Jehovah’s Witness. Why would a Jehovah’s Witness write to me? Well, sometimes just because of a simple desire for a safe place to vent, or because something that I’ve written has resonated, or because they don’t really feel that they have many – or any – other options. There really isn’t anywhere to go – without fear of reprisal – for caring spiritual counsel within the organization.

JWs who write to me as part of a spiritual exploration, questioning and/or crisis usually do not want to share their thoughts on these matters with others. They are justifiably afraid of the repercussions if a fellow JW were to discover their communication and report it.

I am deeply honored by this kind of contact. It is the most significant validation I could possibly have and I am well aware of the level of trust that is required. It tells me that at least sometimes I’m on the right track. (Thank you.)

I hold as sacred the confidentiality of those who wish to remain unidentified for this reason. Often these communications are held between that person and myself.

In this case, I have permission to post this in an edited version. Names have been deleted and a couple of other details have been changed to protect the innocent. Thank you for allowing me to post it; it is my hope that this will also help others.

I came across your website today after looking for news reports about the Follow the Christ convention I recently attended, and read your blog concerning it with immense interest. I am writing to you as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses in crisis. I am sure you receive many emails a day from people with problems, and I may be just one more! I am feeling quite nervous but I don’t feel I can talk to anyone about my feelings and concerns with regard to my faith (yes, as you know, asking questions is discouraged). I really identify with your position and cannot ignore my doubts anymore. Your blog really hit home with me.

I was brought up in the faith, much like yourself, and my parents got divorced when I was 14. Dad was disfellowshipped as a consequence, and I wasn’t allowed to see him until he was reinstated (over 2 years) which helped me slide into depression, and when I questioned this, I was given a Watchtower reference to cuddle up to, and deal with it. Real comforting. I never got a ‘shepherding call’ from the elders regarding any of this, not even from my uncle who is also an elder. In contrast, I was visited by the Circuit Overseer when I started seeing a girl in High School who wasn’t a Witness, who attempted to barrage me with scriptures and ‘reason’. I thought this was a real double standard – being offered no support when I was in dire need, conversely being slammed when I put a foot out of line.

My mother, a stalwart Witness, taught me to keep a humble attitude and accept all of this, assuring me it would all work out in the end. It is only now that I’m 23 and I’m starting to see all the damage this system causes to people, myself included. I have deep-seated self worth issues, and constantly wonder if I’m going to make it through Armageddon because I feel like I keep screwing up. It’s a constant cycle.

I look around at brothers and sisters in the Kingdom Hall, wondering if they all live in this same constant fear, all the while keeping a firmly fixed ‘kingdom smile’ (which to me sometimes looks slightly disconnected and delusional) to ensure everything appears to be just fine.

Honestly, I could go on and on. I just really needed to get some of this off my chest and talk to someone, and I really appreciate your reading my rant! I am still attending meetings, but I seem to be finding more and more excuses not to go. I know I will have to make a decision eventually, but it will be quite a gradual process I think… I guess I feel like I’m in no-man’s land right now, neither here nor there. I would really value any thoughts or suggestions you might have, and would love to hear about your experiences too!

Again, I thank you for considering what I’ve written here, I feel like weight has been lifted from my shoulders just writing about it.

I look forward to your reply! Regards,

My reply:

You are exactly right that the process of expressing your feelings has value in itself! You might think about keeping a (well-hidden) journal (perhaps a password-protected file on your computer).

The main thing I want to express to you is that you matter. You are not a stamped-out robot off some assembly line. You are a unique person – the only one of you in the entire history of the cosmos. There is nobody else exactly like you. (I know that might sound like a Mr. Rogers song, but what of it?) You are special. Millions of potentialities and synchronicities and actualities combine, moment by moment, to construct you. You have a mind, a body, a spirit – all of which are changing imperceptibly, all the time. The universe plays with you, and earth is your home and your school. As Alan Watts used to say, “the earth peoples.” To some extent, you can choose your direction, your flavor, your habits. You look, you see, you interpret, you act, you think.

Trust yourself. Listen to your heart. You sound very intelligent to me. You sense the wrongness in the air. The self-worth problems (yes, we all have them – it’s one of the most destructive aspects of the group) are hard to overcome. You may find that you bounce back and forth between feelings of worthlessness (you’ll never measure up) and an overinflated ego (self-righteousness, superiority to non-JWs).

Explore the possibilities in-between – the aim is to find your balance point. For myself, I have found that a focus on something else helps a lot for self-integration. Work on yourself, but also help others. Work on a project that you really care about. If you paint or do karate or play the piano or build things or sing or have any kind of skill like that where your mind, body and spirit have to learn to meld together seamlessly in order to do it well, you will see what I mean. Cultivate that. Practice it. Pay attention to the way the habits form and draw on that process of mind/body/spirit memory on other occasions.

At this point, I would advise that as you feel the desire and/or duty and/or pressure to attend, you continue to try to get what spiritual help you still can from meetings and so on. There are some good things, here and there. I don’t recommend a big public break anyway, unless it becomes unavoidable.

While you’re at meetings, though, pay attention to your own perceptions about what “doesn’t fly.” You have identified a lack of meaningful spiritual counsel, heartlessness and lack of compassion, fear-based worship, aggressive intervention for rule-breaking, the fake, fixed smile, so on. Notice more. You don’t have to react, just observe. Pay attention to how these things make you feel about yourself and others. Think that through a little. In the privacy of your own mind, replace what you are observing with more caring, loving alternatives. Actively imagine – and visualize – what it might look like, feel like, if your imagined alternatives were the reality. Change the look on someone’s face, the tone of voice.

Take note of the truly kind people you know and have known there – appreciate them. If you feel moved to do so, praise individuals for specific things. “That was a kind thing to do, helping her out of the car.” They rarely hear authentic praise, and it helps you too. Don’t limit this to JWs, either.

If you pray, pray more. If you feel comfortable talking to the God they have named “Jehovah” – do that (I never was, but that’s just me). However you address God, think about love – and reach in – and reach out – to love.

Orient yourself toward a god who truly loves you and would never want to hurt you (or anyone else). Imagine a love that is so big that it encompasses everything that could ever be, and yet a love that is so unique to you that only you can tune in to its meaning for you. Imagine cosmic arms comforting you, holding you, telling you that it’s all going to be all right. All our words about God are metaphors anyway – use what you can from your own archetypal imagination until it feels like God should feel, until it feels right.

Whether you imagine the metaphors of kingship or fatherhood or motherhood or a protective hen or a quiver through the strings of the cosmic dance, you’ll know it when it feels right. Think of tuning in a station on an old beatup radio. It’s not a matter of “creating your own God,” but of stumbling around until you start to get a glimmer of what a God that is Love itself might be like. Listen for the deep centers from which the spirit of love speaks within you.

Learn about what humility really means (and trust a bit less in the “traditions” of these men in Brooklyn). But don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater, as it were. There are many helpful, loving things that you have learned, too. Build on what rings true (hold fast to what is fine and caring and good). Silently let the destructive aspects start to flow over and around you – harmlessly. Picture them just sliding off of you.

These are things to help you start to turn fear (or anger or helplessness) into something more constructive that will help you find your own way, whatever that might be. These things I am suggesting may seem small, but small habits start to grow and flower in their own way. Some small changes along these lines (explore others too) will be good preparation for you to step into your own path with authenticity and integrity. Research. Think. Feel. Explore. Be kind.

My own experiences are buried in comments and posts. You can read some of my poetry here, and there is a long page of advice to “recovering JWs” here.

I am deeply honored to hear from you. If any part of what I’ve written seems “off” to you in any way, please disregard it. Everyone is a little different, and what helps one person may not be at all useful for another.

Would you mind if I posted a version of this letter to the blog? I would not mention your name, and I could delete any part of this that would in any way identify you. If you like, resend the letter, taking out any part that you don’t want me to post. And if you are not comfortable with my posting any of it, that’s perfectly fine too.

In any case, I’m here for you. There are others, although I would advise some discretion. Some are very damaged, and will be for a long time, maybe always. I’m among the more fortunate ones. I think my curiosity and love of reading went a long way…

Thank you so much for replying so quickly to my email. I have read it over and over, you don’t know what it means to me that someone has taken the time to help me with what I’m going through! And if I may say so, you have a beautifully eloquent style of writing, a pleasure to read! I take a lot from what you have written. You may post a version of my letter if you wish, I only ask that my name is removed. I think I may email you again in the future, and for now wish you the best. Kind regards,

I have some idea of what it means – still just trying to be the caring friend I wish I’d had. I don’t invoke discourses of blessing easily, but I must admit that I do feel blessed (and healed) every time someone out there seems to be hurting a little less because I could help in some small way.

It’s a form of service that returns threefold … or tenfold … or (a) manifold.

(I have a pretty good idea of who might be laughing each of those.)

{{{grins}}}

We cannot live for ourselves alone. Our lives are connected by a thousand invisible threads, and along these sympathetic fibers, our actions run as causes and return to us as results. ~Herman Melville

Serial Child Predator JW Walks

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A Jehovah’s Witness pedophile elder (called an “evil monster” by his own sister) was spared prison today.

Michael Porter, 38, of Barnet, north London, admitted to abusing his position of trust, and was convicted of 24 counts of indecent assault and gross indecency on children, including one on an 18-month-old baby.

“He abused dozens of children and even a baby. But he’s still free.”

JWs are discouraged from reporting abuse to police because they are told that all worldly authorities are ruled by Satan – what an interesting negative publicity control mechanism!

Within the organization, victims of abuse are told to subject themselves to the headship of men and elders, and that Jehovah-God will take care of the problem.

The Crown Prosecution Service was not prepared to comment at this stage, but it is understood police officers were disappointed that only four victims were prepared to make statements against Porter. One of the problems was that most of the victims were not prepared to make statements or give any kind of evidence.”

Jehovah’s Witnesses’ policies on sexual predators and abusers need reform. Discouraging victims from seeking help from “worldly authorities,” requiring two witnesses to the abuse before even internal investigating takes place, allowing known abusers to interact with children (unsupervised), not informing congregations of potential issues or problems when predators transfer to other congregations, not reporting criminal behavior to the police despite having no tradition of confession to back up a confidentiality clause – are these defensible positions for religious leaders to take?

Rick McLean, another JW pedophile, is on the US Marshalls Most Wanted List.

Over a five day period in February, 16 civil child sex abuse lawsuits against the Watchtower Society (the Jehovah’s Witness official organization) were quietly settled in three states (CA, TX and OR). The victims were bribed or coerced into signing ‘gag orders’ that prevent them from discussing the cases.

See Silent Lambs for more on this issue.

Heidi the “Psycho”

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Now I’ve been called a “psycho” and accused of not doing research in the comments of the JW article:

heidi the psycho:

dear Heidi, over 50% of the US population doesn’t vote. Are these all JW’s? I think not. Do some research before U post. At least the JWs don’t vote out of principle. The non JWs most likely out of apathy or ignorance. Why doesn’t it bother U that so much of the rest of the population doesn’t vote? No one is forced to be a JW. As a matter of fact they excommunicate approx. 42000 a year, that means they get rid of them so how can it be a cult which is characterized by FORCEFUL membership? Also cults revolve around human leaders such as David Koresh, Jim Jones etc etc. The only name associated with JWs is the name of their God.

Too funny.

I’m a “psycho” now? Hmm. I’m not one to accuse of not doing research. It just doesn’t hold up – you’ll have to take another tack.

I didn’t call them a cult. However, the Watchtower corporations do control their people. There is no discussion or debate. Their “elders” have no theological background. They aren’t allowed to read, much less engage with, reputable biblical scholarship. Men lacking in even basic pastoral training decide when to cut members off from their family and friends, and these same men get their sermons from New York. Even they are not trusted enough to write their own sermons.

Oh, and I hope that anyone reading this would know the difference between people choosing not to vote and being prohibited from doing so.

I accidentally hit return before filling in the whole form, so it came up “anonymous” – I’m sure people will be able to tell that it’s me.

I could have added that it’s even creepier (to me) when a group revolves around a semi-anonymous corporate power structure than it does when it’s just charismatic leader…

and can’t you just feel the love from this JW?

Russian JWs Awake(n) – A Beginning?

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It is possible that internal discussion about Watchtower policies has begun, at least among some Jehovah’s Witnesses.

Internal discussion or debate is very rare – those who attempt to initiate such are quickly disfellowshipped so that their “unsheep-like” attitude does not “infect” the congregation. The Watchtower Bible and Tract publishing empire/religious group is totalitarian – very much a “top-down” organization. They believe that their Governing Body is literally God’s earthly representative. Disagreement with the Governing Body or the Watchtower publication’s interpretations are not tolerated. Members do not hold them accountable for anything.

To be honest, I can’t tell if this is from any organized group of people or not. There is a forum and a site, but I don’t know how many people may be in agreement with what it says. I don’t know how many among them might actually be active JWs, either. But when I got this via a news bulletin from Silent Lambs (where it was submitted) this morning, I saw it as a hopeful sign that some JWs might be opening their eyes on this issue.

To the people of Russia and of the world

D E C L A R A T I O N of active members of the Jehovah’s Witnesses International Organization

We are compelled to write this Declaration because of recent events in the United States that have to do with established incidents of sexual abuse of minors involving some appointed servants (including elders) of the Jehovah’s Witnesses religious organization. We want to express our opinion about the situation and about the Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society position in this regards.

Our organization’s leadership — the Governing Body of Jehovah’s Witnesses — remains silent and pretends that nothing extraordinary is going on. Nevertheless we cannot remain silent any longer, because we see it all, we face these problems in our everyday lives and we feel confused and ashamed when others point us to such incidents. Thus we in Russia feel very uneasy about these facts.

We do recognize clearly that the present internal policies of our organization are favorable and conductive to concealment of such transgressions against law and morals. All who attempt to press for just punishment of the offenders will themselves come under condemnation unless they have enough evidence against an accused person – oftentimes presence of two or more eye-witnesses of a given incident is requested, whereas one-man witnesses of crimes committed against close kin are dismissed. Therefore a criminal often goes unpunished and privately continues to commit felonious acts against his victim.

We do not know of any single instance when elders of a congregation would turn to the law enforcement agencies with a request to investigate claims of sexual abuse, although crimes of such kind should be investigated by experts.

This probably happens because the elders themselves, as we know, are often involved in similar transgressions (including, to be sure, not only sexual sins, but also deceit, licentiousness, rudeness etc,). Praise God, we do not know of any instances of pedophilia in Russia, but in other situations actions of elders are being portrayed in such a way as if nothing has happened — elders being often “shielded” by fellow elders and/or regional overseers. All this gives rise to feelings of indignation and aversion. We have enough examples to prove our case, but it is not our goal to publish these.

Unfortunately it turns out that it has become more important for Jehovah’s Witnesses to maintain authority of the elders and of the organization in general than to maintain biblical ethics and morals.

We’d be glad to find ourselves mistaken, but thus far all facts speak in favor of such conclusion.

On behalf of all Jehovah’s Witnesses indignant with the Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society policies we would like to make apologies to those who have suffered from such actions on part of Jehovah’s Witnesses. We are truly ashamed of their actions. We do this because we recognize that the Governing Body of Jehovah’s Witnesses, with its usual practice of improper “pudency”, will never do it. Public should know that among Jehovah’s Witnesses both in Russia and in the world there are hundreds and thousands of honest people — they see all the lawless deeds of their organization and sincerely mourn it.

We also do recognize that many policies of our organization are not biblical, but rather based upon dogmas put forth by the Governing Body of Jehovah’s Witnesses. One result of such unchristian position is their “policy of concealment” as applied to various crimes committed by members of the organization. Rank-and-file Jehovah’s Witnesses are mostly unsatisfied with this policy, but they remain silent for fear of being repressed by the leadership which has only one interest: to maintain a positive public “image” of the organization.

We do not want to be condemned by God along with those who stubbornly persist in their delusions (2 Thes. 2:11-12). Having put our hope in His mercy and submitted everything under His mighty hand (1 Peter 5:6), we pray for our brothers that God may open their eyes (Rom. 10:1). Members of the Jehovah’s Witnesses International Organization

E-mail: mnenie00@mail.ru
Forum: http://jwforum.org
Website: http://allistinawt.by.ru

I see here open criticism – and it seems to me that it may come from a grounded integrity that feels compassion and sorrow, a sense of priorities, and a more evolved form of ethics. An apology to victims – because the Governing Body will never do it. An acknowledgment that JWs will not refer these cases to the police for investigation. The practice of “shielding.” An understanding that the dogmas exceed biblical justification. (Side quibble: I don’t even want to know what they mean by pudency. It is a word, ranging in meaning from modesty to shame to prudery (as you might guess, it refers to pudendum). Do they mean “prudence”, perhaps?)

I keep hoping that – for the sake of JWs themselves – they will learn how to begin local discussions and debates, and that they find within themselves the wherewithal to step outside the controlling structures and think things through for themselves.

In order to prevent such discussions from happening (or to deal with them if they start), I am speculating (if not outright predicting) that before too long the Governing Body will be forced to announce that they have “received new light from Jehovah” on some of these issues. (I have always wondered about the specific mechanism of the new light delivery system – is there a receiver near the Brooklyn Bridge?)

I know that some Jehovah’s Witnesses have to have noticed the steep decline of compassion and kindness (among other things) among their “sisters and brothers,” their “friends” over the last several years. JWs often quote the scripture about the “fruits of the spirit” as a way of arguing that only they are the true religion. Protecting predators while ignoring victims is not a comfortable stance for people who do their best to conduct their lives in the way they believe God wants and is asking of them.

It is my feeling that the greatest change would occur when JWs find the courage to start having local discussions on some of these issues, rather than simply parroting the talking points sent over from Brooklyn on how to answer questions at the door. True friends and sisters and brothers share their insights, and each one’s gifts contribute to the body as a whole. Spirit does not reside only in the head (so to speak). The fact that almost no JWs partake of the wine and bread at the Memorial, and that even those who consider themselves of the 144,000 never meet with the Governing Body, could make them think about what kind of “communion” or “network” they might really be involved with, but it doesn’t happen.

Some of them know, deep inside, that there are more important things than maintaining the image of Jehovah’s Witnesses in the eyes of the world. Reform is long overdue.

Brenda Lee DID it!

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OH….my….GOD. Oh, sweet lord in heaven.. (string of expletives following, unsuitable for blog publication).

I can’t believe it. Brenda Lee has done what I’ve fantasized about doing since I was 12. I’ve spent a fair bit of time trying not to think about it, for fear that I might actually do it.

A mildly disrespectful, gum-snapping Brenda attended the Jehovah’s Witness Memorial Service (their annual memorial of the Last Supper, at which almost no-one partakes of the “emblems” of wine and bread) and she…PARTOOK!

SHE DID IT!

Excuse the capital letters, but my heart is still racing in empathy.

It’s so nice to know that I wasn’t the only one to think of doing it. Now that someone has done it, maybe it’s time to let go of that particular fantasy (don’t worry, I have others).

Of course, my fantasy continued after that point. I imagined that I would stand up and say that everyone there should partake of the bread and wine, that to refuse the communion made a mockery of the entire ceremony. It reinforced the idea that almost all Jehovah’s Witnesses were unworthy to share in the spirit – at the same time that they thought they would be the ones sheltered from their loving God’s wrath during the Last Days and through the Apocalypse. Yeah, I thought I’d get a chance to preach a little sermon of my own.

I’m in shock. If you haven’t had any involvement with Jehovah’s Witnesses, it will be difficult for you to fully comprehend the transgressive nature of what she did. The only ones that are supposed to partake are of the 144,00 thousand destined to rule in heaven “as kings” with the Christ (Jesus / the Archangel Michael) after Armageddon. Among other things, they don’t mention any “queens.” I’ve never seen anybody partake. Not anybody.

I had recently ordered another copy of Brenda Lee’s book to send to a friend, but when I saw that she had inscribed the book with a message (Truth, love + light… Brenda Lee), I couldn’t bring myself to part with it. I sent my older copy instead.

After finishing my previous post, I clicked on the Technorati tag at the bottom of the post to check on how things were going with Brenda Lee. I came across the video that way. There is a decent (if a little flippant) introduction, and then – with the help of two accomplices – she filmed the whole thing. And here it is:

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I was screaming out to John. As much as I’ve tried to convey the effects of having been raised a Jehovah’s Witness, I think he still has a little trouble understanding. I don’t often feel obvious effects of it these days, partly because the work I do trying to help others is extremely healing to me. His own upbringing involved a kind of lukewarm semi-involvement in one of the major protestant denominations, and he’s in the agnostic/atheist camp now. Lately, watching what right-wing fanatics have done in this country, and seeing the daily slaughters over questions of religion in the news, he is even less likely to engage in discussions about spirituality. He smiled mildly at me (yelling “look at this! look at this! She’s doing it! She’s doing it!”) and… well… I guess it’s just one of those things. You had to have had certain kinds of experiences to fully understand. You had to be there…

I somehow thought that if I ever did that, lightning would strike in some way. I would be dragged out by a passel of elders. People would go berserk. Something. Man, she took her time munching that wafer down – very noisy – and gulped down three good swallows of the wine.

And nothing happened. It didn’t even look like anybody said anything to her.

The public is invited to the Memorial, so she was – technically – invited to be there. She wasn’t intruding on a private ritual. A lot more people attend the Memorial than go to the five weekly meetings, or go door-to-door. It’s a chance (as you can hear in the video) for them to preach to newbies, or to family members that aren’t yet JWs, or to the ones that drift in and out.

Of course, they would consider her an apostate for writing a book about her experiences as a JW, and if they had known who she was, they wouldn’t have let her enter. When they print those memorial statistics, just know that one of the memorial partakers is actually an “apostate.” I wonder if they’ll really count her?

I think in a way it was worse for her than for me, because her mother converted when she was a kid. She had already celebrated Christmas and birthdays and all – and then it was taken away. I think that would have been worse than never having known any other way.

I am not baptized according to the doctrine of any religious group. I did participate once in a christian communion – but the circumstances were very unique. At the time, I did feel very moved by the ritual. To me, it’s almost a kind of suggestion, a mind placebo. Or perhaps it’s a kind of witchcraft. I wrote a whole chapter in my dissertation comparing communion and vampirism. When you grow up as a Jehovah’s Witness, you can’t help but think about the symbolism of blood and spirit.

I am still very spiritually driven – I think spiritual independence is one of the aspects of my freedom that I most value.

Still, I feel like whooping in laughter – yes, a kind of mildly wicked kind of whooping – imagining sitting there next to her, and – not being to overcome the expected behavior – whispering, “All right, all right, quit fidgeting! Do you have to chew the gum like that?!?!” and then realizing, and losing my composure, and laughing, laughing, laughing. I would probably have become somewhat hysterical. Even now, I’m not sure that the whole experience wouldn’t have been too traumatic for me to take.

The last time I went to a meeting, many years ago now in my home congregation in Massachusetts, I was hemmed in by older women, then confronted by an elder. And that was before I ever had a web site or anything like that. They just somehow had heard that I was in an MA program in religion. That was enough. I get a shiver even driving by a Kingdom Hall. It’s hard for others to understand. Somehow, at the door it’s different. Everywhere I’ve lived I’ve had multiple visits from JWs, and gradually I’ve gotten to the point where I have conversations, even somewhat enjoyable ones. But I don’t think I could sit through another one of those meetings ever again.

I can’t help wondering if the entire congregation was staring her down. The elders didn’t even corner her later?!?!

Yeah, I’m expecting some expressions of disapproval in the comments. It was a transgressive sort of thing, kind of like having sex on a church’s consecrated alter (Abelard and Heloise found it rather exciting), but she didn’t really disrupt anything in a major way. Heh-heh. She didn’t make a scene. Considering everything, she showed self-control.

I’m sorry, but on this one I have to laugh. I can only laugh. Oh……oh. On the way out, she advised some JW teens to hang in there – someday this would all be over. That congregation is going to be gossiping about this for a long time to come.

I don’t think I would be able to follow through on going to the Memorial and partaking, because I don’t think I’d be able to resist being a little more… theatrical. Knowing that I would have a hard time resisting the temptation to be very vocal and disruptive, I wouldn’t do it. So, no worries, dear rank and file JWs. You won’t be seeing me at the Memorial. You don’t want me to be there, and I don’t want to be there. It’s too traumatic for me. Even Brenda Lee showed some signs of anxiety and stress as the moment approached.

Of course, if hundreds of other people all over the world all decided to do it at once… hmmm.

My adrenaline levels are still high. I can’t believe I’m sitting here. I think I’m going to go outside and giggle helplessly to myself.

Brenda, sweet girl, more details please! Swing by and comment, I beg of you! Send me your phone number immediately! We’ve got to talk!

Opposing Watchtower Sex Abuse Policies

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Someone has put some of the coverage of the Silent Lambs in Nashville up at YouTube. Check it out.

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Over a five day period in February, 16 civil child sex abuse lawsuits against the Watchtower Society (the Jehovah’s Witness headquarters in New York City) were quietly settled in three states (CA, TX and OR). The victims involved were essentially coerced into signing ‘gag orders’ that prevent them from discussing the cases. One Jehovah’s Witness elder who was sued was long time San Diego resident Rick McLean who was featured on America’s Most Wanted in March. He is suspected of molesting more than 30 children.

Molestation victims and advocates met to support abuse victims and to protest the Jehovah’s Witnesses’ policies on sexual predators and abusers (some of which include discouraging victims from seeking help from “worldly authorities,” requiring two witnesses to the abuse, keeping information from the police, allowing known abusers to interact unsupervised with children, and not informing congregations of potential issues or problems when predators transfer to other congregations).

They encouraged victims and witnesses to get help.

In light of the recent multiple-case settlement, they also urged all faith groups to stop requiring secrecy (gag orders) in settlements.

For more details see these previous posts:

Sadistic Foster Mom a Devout Jehovah’s Witness

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I had intended to do a summary of recent stories on Jehovah’s Witnesses in the news, but I can’t put this in as a story among others. It illustrates the extreme of a general tendency fostered by Jehovah’s Witnesses, however they may try to deny it.

Twice-divorced foster mom Eunice Spry, of Tewkesbury, Glos, has been found guilty at Bristol crown court of 26 charges of cruelty and assault. This Jehovah’s Witness has shown no sympathy for her victims, nor accepted any blame for torturing three children over a period of almost 20 years.

Spry, 62, routinely beat, abused and starved the two girls and a boy as punishments. The victims, now in their late teens and early 20s, said the devout Jehovah’s Witness forced sticks down their throats, made them eat their own vomit and rat excrement, drink washing-up liquid and bleach and locked them naked in a room without food for a month.

Spry claims that the children were possessed by the devil. Sandpapering their skin seemed like a good solution.

Child A, now 21, came into Spry’s care when she was five. She said: “We were regularly beaten. We were starved or made to eat blocks of lard, drowned in the bath and kicked down the stairs.

“Mum had an array of sticks and would beat us with them and kick us until we were bruised and collapsing with pain. If we screamed, she would push the sticks down our throats. The pain was unbearable. These things happened all through my childhood.”

Child B, a girl also now aged 21, said: “We had no friends. We were told not to speak to anyone.” Child C, a boy of 23, told Bristol crown court: “One summer, when I was seven or eight, we were starved for a month.

“We were kept locked in a room with no clothes on and had very little to eat.

“If we wanted to go to the toilet we had to do it in the corner. I remember being made to eat my own excrement off the floor.”

Spry, 62, who faces jail after she was yesterday convicted of child cruelty, wounding, assault and perverting justice, kept her savage regime secret by refusing to send the children to school. She taught them at home and rarely let them to leave the house.

The children were routinely punished for supposedly misbehaving by being made to swallow rat droppings, dog food, bleach, washing-up liquid and the antiseptic TCP.

Prosecutor Kerry Barker said that interviews with the victims resulted in a “horrifying catalogue of cruel and sadistic treatment,” but the case relied heavily on evidence from forensic scientists.

Police described Spry as intelligent and clever who had showed no emotion when she was questioned. Det Con Victoria Martell said: “Most mothers who’d been accused of such things would have shown something. She didn’t and it was quite chilling.”

Although a spokeman for the Jehovah’s Witnesses claimed that the faith does not tolerate physical abuse, her behavior was clearly fueled by JW beliefs. Fanatical Jehovah’s Witness Eunice believed the two girls and a boy were possessed by the Devil – she wanted to “purify” them. At a local Kingdom Hall, Spry made one of the children wear a sign on back which said: “This child is evil. Do not look at her or talk to her.” Did anyone intervene? Nah. This nasty woman was considered a pillar of her local community.

Yes, clearly this story is beyond the pale of any kind of acceptable behavior. Why does it matter that she was a “devout Jehovah’s Witness”? It matters because the authoritarian/perfectionist mindset of JWs contributes to the pathology of individuals like this. In such simplistically totalitarian groups (and JWs are not alone), there is simply more child abuse, more domestic abuse, more sexual abuse, and more violence.

Despite their “pacifist” beliefs about not fighting in wars (which really have to do more with their separation from the world and this “system of things” – like their refusal to vote), the internal dynamic of the followers of the Watchtower Bible and Tract corporations encourages behaviors of domination and control. In a very real psychological sense, they are controlled and thus abused, and often become abusers themselves. As any non-JW family member can tell you, kindness is not at the top of their list of priorities. This is especially so for men, although this case involves instead a woman. I hope to hear more about the background – I think the history here must be very convoluted.

I never saw an elder chastised for cruelty. I never saw a single JW interfere with physical, abusive “correction” of children (or women). The man is head of the household. This book excerpt describes a common situation that I observed in my own youth.

When I was twelve years old, my nineteen-year-old sister married a Jehovah’s Witness, and one year later she delivered a beautiful baby boy. Sadly, Jon would come to know at a tender age of one the frustration I experienced sitting on that anthill during those long sermons in the Kingdom Hall. When Jon started fidgeting, his father grabbed him by the arm and literally dragged him to the restroom to beat him. Jon’s beating became such a ritual that when his daddy reached for him during a meeting, he knew it meant a beating. He cried and pleaded “No, Daddy” as he buckled his legs, refusing to walk willingly to meet his fate. Everyone in the Kingdom Hall could hear his screams. The sound that echoed from the blow varied; sometimes Jon’s father used his hand, sometimes a belt. After ten or fifteen minutes, they would return with Jon hyperventilating, desperately trying to catch his breath. Beaten into composure, he would sit still for a while longer. Usually he stared motionless into space, his eyes bloodshot from crying. If fate smiled on him, Jon fell asleep in my arms for the duration of the meeting. If not, then back again to the restroom he would go for another beating and the cycle continued, until the closing prayer. One heart-wrenching day in particular is forever seared into my memory. My sister confided in my mother, father, and me that Jon, then two years old, had asked his father to hit him on his hands with the belt instead of his buttocks. When asked why he wanted to be punished that way, he replied, “Because my butt is too sore.” Within a year, my sister had another child and his fate, sadly, was no different than Jon’s. Meanwhile, my sister’s husband was rewarded for his devotion to the faith. He was made an Elder.’ – from Out of the Cocoon: A Young Woman’s Courageous Flight from the Grip of a Religious Cult by Brenda Lee.

Punishments are inflicted – even at the Kingdom Hall itself – to try to create the perfect submissive JW child who will never make a mistake of any kind. That kind of situation was the subtext of a poem I wrote about how I learned to re-imagine my role in order to navigate through difficult situations. My mind was always my realm of freedom. As a child, there are some things you can’t escape. I was hit with a belt, but not nearly as much as some others. Sticks are also common, since they seem to remind people of the “rod.”

While the actions of this horrible woman are not typical, they are on the same continuum. The protective paranoia of the group, which considers all “worldly” authorities to be ruled by Satan, discourages reporting to outsiders. They don’t trust psychologists, psychiatrists, or child development specialists. They don’t trust the police or the legal system or any part of government. They discourage reading outside their publications, and think that education is a waste of time and energy. People who are so controlled sometimes do odd and destructive things, like this. She would have been horrible without the JWs, but this gave her the ideology and rationalization, and the cover, to do it. She was also able to pull the kids out of school (for “home-schooling”) when concerns arose about their neglect, possible starvation, and the environment of “austere” parenting. Children, who may grow up thinking that abuse is “normal,” should be better protected.

Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron’s cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience. – C.S. Lewis

Watchtower JW Family Shunning

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Another from the “Ask a Former Jehovah’s Witness” mailbag:

My father was disfellowshipped when he was a teen in the 80′s and because of that he and his father do not speak. Ever. Are there any scriptural sources that I could use when speaking to my grandfather about this that would show this is wrong? When I talk with him about it he starts spewing scripture. Previous to July 2002 it was said that “Those who simply cease to be involved in the faith are not shunned. In compliance with the Scriptures, however, members can be expelled for serious unchristian conduct, such as stealing, drunkenness, or adultery, if they do not repent and cease such actions. Disfellowshipping does not sever family ties.” -www.watchtowerinformationservice.org/- I feel as if my family is being torn apart because of this religion and would like any advice you have to give. Thank you for your time. – Steve B

Your options are limited. Focus on love. You might mention the signs of the spirit (patience, kindness, etc). “Forgive as you would be forgiven” is a central tenet of biblical faith. You could invoke the primary message of Jesus, talk about “he who is without sin, cast the first stone.” I would avoid a scriptural discussion, however – he’s too well-prepared and defended for that kind of discussion.

The Jehovah’s Witness group is controlled by a very authoritarian – even totalitarian – organization, and therefore the average JW compartmentalizes things according to a priority of values that puts everything else below the directives of the Governing Body. If New York tells them to avoid your father, that’s just what they’ll do. This is one of the most heartbreaking things about this group, and I wish I had more to offer in the way of strategies.

Unfortunately, for most JWs nothing on earth is more important than securing their place for eternal life on a paradise earth. They don’t seem to understand that a lack of love is the surest way to separate oneself from God, the cosmos, the family, and everything else. He may try to tell you that he does this out of love, that the lack of association is a disciplinary measure to bring your father back into the fold. It won’t be at all obvious to him that this is completely antithetical to Jesus’ message.

Maybe you could get the discussion off religion entirely and talk about the pain and suffering that this is causing you and the rest of the family. Maybe your grandfather’s love for you might be strong enough to override, at least to some degree, his indoctrination. You might also remind him that each person’s spiritual path is their own, and that God sees into the heart. Judge not, lest you be judged.

I don’t have much hope for your success, but it is worth a concerted effort. You never know – maybe you will plant a small seed of cognitive dissonance by being more loving than he is. Take the highest road you can.

I sense your pain and anguish, and I wish kindness, gentleness, and healing for you and your family.

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