Marilynne sent me photos from Wednesday!

Heidi and Ben

Outside In - John and Ron

But no pics of her!

I should have brought my camera.

What a week. Really.

On Monday and Tuesday, I was still recovering a bit from the effects of the pollen overload on my system. I went to work, but I was dragging. I was starting to look forward to my birthday, but I wasn’t sure what there would be in celebration. I got a few things in the mail – a cd, a book by Slavoj Žižek (looks like he ripped off Jean Baudrillard in this one), a voodoo toothpick holder (hee-hee), a “Gin & Titonic” ice-cube tray, a Lumpy Bumpy candy bar, some great cards… but there didn’t seem to be anything planned as an event.

I was also dreading the prospect of going through physical and psychological withdrawal. I decided that instead of quitting on my birthday – and ruining the whole day – I’d make my birthday the last day of smoking.

Wednesday was my birthday. I went in to work, a little dressed up, feeling a lot better – and my brother Michael took me out for a yummy sushi lunch. It was good to spend some time with him. I’m a number of years older, and his card said “When we were kids you were always reminding me that you were older.” Inside: “Now I’m just returning the favor. Happy Birthday.” We live pretty close, but we’ve both got demanding jobs and families – and it just seems to be difficult to get together very often. Sharing lunch with him made me really happy, and the sushi was excellent.

Back at work, I heard a little noise behind me – someone had dropped a card on my desk. It was a Peanuts card: “Birthdays remind me of what a great person once said” – and then, when you open the card, it’s that “adult” wah-wah-wah-rhaa noise. “Don’t worry. It didn’t make much sense to me either.” My whole team had signed it. That was really touching. Usually, the birthday person gets taken out to lunch or something like that, so this was extra-special.

But then – I got called to reception for a delivery. Sitting there on the front desk was the sweetest bouquet of flowers – orange lilies and yellow roses and little purple mums. The card inside said “We vetoed Phil’s idea and got you flowers.” Again – from my team (although I know who actually did it – thank you Mark). I actually got all mushy, and didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, so I went and washed my face. So, so, so sweet.

Our neighbors Marilynne and Ron graciously invited us to celebrate with them at their house. What a relief! Our house was a total wreck, and it was depressing. To sit in their warm inviting kitchen and then, later, in the gorgeous sunroom, was a real treat. We had a delicious dinner of chicken korma (I got the recipe) and yogurt and rice and snap peas and broccoli and kale. Ben came with us, and they included him in the conversation and made him feel at home. Their three dogs are the sweetest ever; it almost make me want to get a dog (although I’m still aching for a cat).

We brought beer and wine and a cake with us, and at the appropriate time, John and Ben stuck in the… um… symbolic number of candles, and everybody sang and I made my wish and blew out all the candles. Eventually, John went next door and tucked Ben into bed, and then we all sat around and talked of all sorts of things. Marilynne brought out some well-aged port, and we had a bit of that.

We shared a very fun and wide-ranging conversation, but one of the things we talked about was the website that Marilynne has been working on for one of the Sherlock Holmes groups. Check it out. If you love Sherlock Holmes stories, you’ll find some surprising things – and if you haven’t read any, go here to get started.

The Beacon Society is a scion society of The Baker Street Irregulars, an international organization of Sherlock Holmes enthusiasts founded in 1934 by Christopher Morley. The Irregulars (known as the BSI) meet every January in New York City for a weekend of celebration and study. The Beacon Society serves as a link to other scion societies, providing teachers with local resources to bring the magic of Sherlock Holmes to life in the classroom.

It was a week for flowers. Over the course of the week, John got me three different potted plants. There was the bouquet from work. Then – just today, the parents of one of Ben’s friends brought a big bouquet of mums for my birthday – and to celebrate my progress.

Yes… my progress. Well – I had my last cigarette at two minutes to midnight on my birthday. The last couple of days have been interesting. I’ve been watching the cravings come and go. Paul, you’re right – you can get into a meta-observational place with that.

Still – I have to admit I’ve been easily irritated, impatient, cranky. I’ve even felt a certain inclination toward violence. Oxygen helps. I’ve had some luck blowing in and out of plastic straws – and chewing on them when it gets really bad. It beats eating or chewing gum. I’ve hammered at a piece of wood, broken assorted fallen branches over my thigh, and puttered around – doing laundry, cleaning up, keeping busy, keeping moving. I’ve also been trying to comfort myself. I have the softest, most cuddly socks on.

There have been some cosmic sparkles here and there that have kept me focused, too.

So far, so good.

We were late getting into Longmeadow. My brother Roy, wife Patty, and son Dylan had already been there for a few hours. It was so great to be able to spend some time with them. We rarely get to see one another anymore. Dylan was so totally adorable – he’s such a perfect mix of Roy and Patty. When Roy was little, his hair was just like that, and he had those really long eyelashes (I always envied them), and he made some of the same faces. It’s uncanny to see. And yet, I can really see Patty in him too.

We kicked off our shoes and made ourselves at home. Ben and Dylan played pretty well together despite the difference in age. Ben was actually the one who took this photo of Dylan – isn’t it great? More on that below.

My uncle Ronnie has always been one of my most favorite men on the planet. I can’t even begin to list the many ways in which he has influenced me and supported me – he’s always been there. I wouldn’t have gone to college at all, but he persuaded me. I had some great conversations with my Aunt Ute while we were there. She has recently retired from her job. After so many years of working the night shift in a lab, she is really enjoying the personal freedom to do what she likes to do. She is taking a class to learn all the intricacies of playing bridge (after talking with her, I’m starting to get a sense of how complicated the game can be!). They are planning their next big trip – this time to New Zealand. I can’t wait to hear all about it and to see the photos when they get back.

We had the pleasure of meeting my Cousin Aletta’s fiancee Matt. We liked him very much, and can see that they will be good together. The thing I noticed most was that Aletta looked so happy whenever he was around. The wedding will be another reason to travel back here – yay! She is finishing up her Ph.D., winding up for the big finish, and she and John talked science for a while. I was enjoying just listening in on the conversation. (That’s how interesting it was – I actually shut up – grin).

My aunt and uncle’s house is the perfect place to meet for a family gathering. I love to explore and find new beautiful objects there, noticing designs and ways of organizing things. (I’ve been cleaning and rethinking our space since I got back!). There is a main room that sits up high and has incredibly comfortable couches and chairs. There is a fireplace, and a deck off the main room. The kitchen is a couple of stairs down (and had been redone since the last time I was able to visit), and you walk through it to the formal dining room where there is also a piano.

I have many happy memories of listening to my Uncle play the piano in that room. My one regret about this family visit is that he had hurt his thumb and couldn’t play much beyond “Twinkle, twinkle” and “Happy Birthday”.

All of the meals were delicious there (they had the eggcups in the morning! and bacon! and homemade jam!), but the Thanksgiving feast was exceptionally yummy. I even had seconds, which I hardly ever do. We attempted to celebrate my cousin Aletta’s birthday, which was a couple of days later, and my nephew Dylan’s birthday, which is in a couple of days from now.

We made a fatal error, however – actually it was me. Mea culpa, totally my fault. I sent Ben out with Aletta’s pie first! Well, Dylan was really excited about blowing out the candle, and he was not happy at all when the pie (with the lit candle) was placed in front of Aletta. Even bringing out his own pie with a candle didn’t really solve the problem. He had just woken up, and in addition to thinking that the whole candle-blowing event might be taken from him, I think he was also trying to work out where fire goes when it’s gone. He had been asking about the fire in the fireplace, too.

Ben was in heaven the whole time. He always adores Patty, and this visit was no exception. In addition to that lovefest, he also got to know Ute and Aletta. Ute took Ben for a couple of walks around the neighborhood, and talked to him at length, and even tickled him! Aletta listened intently as he explained – in great detail – his favorite Playstation2 game (the players, the levels, what you have to do). He’s been talking about Aletta and Ute and Patty ever since. I wish I had the “village” (as in, it takes one) here in Atlanta.

Ben took a lot of photos. In addition to that great picture of Dylan, he took these:

We talked to other family members that couldn’t come to visit. My brother Michael and his family stayed in Atlanta – Dotty is too close to her due date to travel. My mom Nancy and grandmother Evelyn couldn’t make it either. Everybody got a chance to talk to everybody, at least -except for Cousin Micaela. She and hubby Michael and their kids are out in Seattle. We couldn’t reach them, but I left a voicemail. I’m hoping to see them in March, and if not – they are bound to come to Aletta’s wedding!

We never talked about gratefulness, but all the things to be grateful for were palpable. Thank you for the best Thanksgiving I can remember! Hugs to all from Heidi, John and Ben!

We drove back to Boston, returned the rental car, and got past security early enough to change our flight to an earlier one. We still had enough time – on Friday afternoon – to get a bite to eat at the airport. Can it be? Legal Seafoods has a “Test Kitchen” almost directly across from our gate? Ohhh. I had freshly shucked lobster and avocado wrap. I was sorely tempted to have a cup of chowder. We had a great meal – at the airport. Wow.

I never thought that I would miss New England. I wasn’t sad to leave it when I moved to Iowa, and then to Atlanta. It has taken me many years to realize all the aspects of life there that I really appreciate. Every place has its pros and cons, and there are many positive things about Atlanta. I love the weather here, and the flowers, and I’ve made great friends here, too. We have a nicer house than we could afford to own in New England. Still, it’s become clear to me that the core of me is a New Englander still. That I’m a liberal yankee in a very red state is only part of the story. I was blinking back tears as the plane turned toward Atlanta.