Tiny Tooth Horror

Tiny Tooth Horror

It’s a matter of aesthetics. I simply find certain kinds of mouths repulsive. For me, it all has to do with the teeth.

The worst mouth? The one where you have to wonder whether or not there are any teeth at all. The person hardly ever lets you see them. I dislike the bulldog expression – the bottom teeth appear, but the top teeth do not. I dislike very small teeth – they look like corn on the cob.

If you add tension, smirking, and other strange manneristic muscular signals to the secret-teeth, bottom-teeth-only, or corn teeth, then I have a very primal sort of reaction.

It’s a kind of prejudice – it is certainly a preference. Back in the day when I was basically a serial monogamist, all of my boyfriend/lovers had medium-to-large white teeth (not that it matters here, but I am also partial to strong chins and warm expressive eyes). My husband shows his nice white teeth. My whole family has big white gleaming teeth. Maybe it’s a narcissistic tribal affiliation.

Perhaps it is a coincidence, but my Dad lost all his teeth when he was young. I had the most trouble relating with him when his dentures were rather small. Later, when he was older, the dentures were (or at least seemed) bigger, and he smiled more often (and more naturally). We got along better – but that was probably for other reasons altogether. Still – I wonder if this sort of thing could really be a subliminal/unconscious factor i our responses to others?

I don’t care about skin color or language or class or sexuality – but I just don’t like those scary little teeth set in those hard unfeeling mouths. In such a case I may have to admire him (usually it’s a him I mean) in spite of teeth capacity or expressive usage. Someone would have to be so brillant or witty or creative that I would overlook the scary teeth situation, like say… Anthony Hopkins.

I never realized this about myself until now. I know this is a really odd thing. I wonder if I am alone in feeling this way. Having realized this, I’ll have to be more conscious of it in my daily interactions with people. It may be unfair, maybe, may… be.

I like big clean white teeth that show up and make a strong appearance. Americans are known all over the world for our big white honest teeth. Sometimes the teeth may suggest some sort of aggression, like a tiger baring its teeth, but I still prefer that to the scary little teeth. I’m very welcoming to Mormons at the door despite having been a door-to-door cousin Jehovah’s Witness – for some reason they tend to have great teeth (and they are so wonderfully earnest).

Actually I think there are people who prefer the secret teeth, the corn on the cob, show-the-bottom-teeth like a bulldog kind of thing. Maybe they are equally repulsed by people who show their upper teeth. Maybe they are self-conscious about their own teeth. I can’t say that I have the answers on this.

Could there be a political divide – could teeth actually be a factor?

I started having wild thoughts about this. JFK and Jimmy Carter showed teeth. The Clintons have the teeth and so does Kerry. Hollywood people are, of course, big teeth-showers. I’m sometimes undecided about Ahhnold – I like his teeth – but I notice that he doesn’t show them much when he is around the President.

It seems like such a shallow sort of thing, but I wonder if there really are any perceptual differences or other psychological effects across populations based on tooth preferences. I have really gotten to dislike the white male republican kind of mouth. Here’s what I mean.

Nixon had a nice smile:

nixonteeth.jpg

But is that how we remember him? No, here is the mouth I think of…

nixonbotteeth.jpg nixonbottteeth.jpg

Bush is more attractive to me when he shows his teeth.

bushteeth1.jpg See? This is nice.

But here is how I see him in my mind’s eye:

bushmouth.jpgbushmeet.jpg bushnoteeth.jpg bushdebate.jpg bushmon.jpg

It’s probably not a consistent thing. I’m sure there are lots of attractively-toothed Republicans and some scary little-toothed bulldog-underbited Democrats. Condi has a big toothy smile, but that one is a bit terrifying. Zell Miller looked like what he really was, a DINO. Joe Leiberman is borderline – smallish teeth but he shows them sometimes.

Still, here are a few examples of mouths with expressions that I find particularly unattractive.

cheneyteeth.jpg Cheney

rumsfeldteeth.jpg Rumsfeld

roveteeth.jpg Rove

tomdelaymouthm.jpg DeLay

perduemouth.jpg Perdue (GA Gov)

chamblis1.jpg chamblis2.jpg Chambliss (GA Sen)

Man O man, show me thy teeth.

11 thoughts on “Tiny Tooth Horror

  1. Hmmm, I never smile with my mouth open. It’s a family trait – in fact the whole toothy smile is very American.

    I do have an aunt who never lost her baby teeth so she has teeny weeny little teeth. And she used to bite us (as a form of affection) on our cheeks, leaving teeny weeny bite marks.

    Scary! 🙂

  2. I know the whole preference is probably very culturally mediated. I never heard of anyone who never lost their baby teeth. She would bite you on the face? That’s a really wild story!

    I like a closed-mouth smile. That’s not it. Perhaps I’m not describing it very well. There is a commonality of expression across some of these ruthless people – it’s in the set of the mouth. It evolves there somehow. What I find so loathsome is when the mouth is actually open – speaking or whatever – but the top teeth are still hidden (this specially in combination with smirking, curled lips, general disdain, self-satisfied expressions, and the like). There is just such a lack of empathy or feeling in it. The relative lack of tooth’s appearances makes them even scarier to me. It doesn’t make much sense, I know, but somehow if they actually showed the teeth of the vampires they are, I would feel much better about the whole thing. At least it’s honest, and so many of these men are so full of deceit.

  3. Oh, this was nice! My family never had a smilie habit. I myself don´t show my teeth alot when smile; I have a shy personality. My fiancé, on the contrary, is always smilling and showing all his teeth. I love big white teeth too and people that have sexy, confident and sincere smiles.

  4. Mnnn…a keen sense of observation. Never zoomed in on mouths like that but i definately think there’s something to it, kind of like shifty eyes. I was once told not to show my toothy grin at work because it made me look unprofessional (?!) As in people don’t take you seriously if you’re openly honest and approachable (and young, i was just happy to be there)…in the same country, also at work, i was also informed that a young lady should not look people directly in the eye, percieved as a challenge, not polite…but i suspect it’s because they could feel me probing for their soul…body language+intuition, very powerful tools indeed!

  5. scary post…. I have to say, though, that the mouths that creep me out the most (besides Dubya’s and Rummy’s) are the ones that belong to people who have decided not to wear their denture for the day, and they have zero teeth.

    I don’t know why I just posted a comment on that

  6. Hello there. I came across your site by accident whilst searching for more info on people showing their bottom teeth only. I also do not like people with bad or irregular teeth. I think it is a primal thing. I am also a woman and I think you look for health in the teeth which is our conditioning by nature. Also if you read books like Leiland Young who wrote the Naked Face, these teeth irregularities have meaning. An overshot jaw with jutting bottom teeth could betray violence in the person, but this could be contrued as being cave man characteristics, but maybe there is some truth in it. It also has been muted that it has sexual connotations wherein, and this I have found to be true upon inspection, that a number of gay people have a speech impediment. I insist I have nothing against gays, I have just noticed that quite often they do have some sort of a lisp which would be created by the mouth, tongue or teeth possibly not being aligned in the same way. Interesting stuff.

    Read the Naked Face, it will interest you. Cheers.

  7. Typical shallow and DUMB American thing. American smiles are the fakiest smiles in the world.

  8. what a ridiculous load of rubbish! but thanks for the laugh, and giving me the opportunity to pity somebody before 11am – I feel awfully humane.

    1. Of course it is. Glad you got a laugh – it was an amusing line of thought for me, too. Pity? Oh, you didn’t know how to interpret the post. Glad to reconnect anyone with their sense of the humane, even if it’s a weird projection, so… good.

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