{"id":1030,"date":"2006-02-04T12:36:46","date_gmt":"2006-02-04T16:36:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.virushead.net\/vhrandom\/2006\/02\/04\/no-parent-left-behind\/"},"modified":"2006-05-01T13:45:55","modified_gmt":"2006-05-01T17:45:55","slug":"no-parent-left-behind","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.virushead.net\/vhrandom\/2006\/02\/no-parent-left-behind\/","title":{"rendered":"No Parent Left Behind?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I sincerely hope that this e-mail collection of "real" excuse notes written by parents in Tennessee is a humorous urban legend. Unfortunately, I find it all too believable. Thanks to Bev for sending.<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. My son is under a doctor’s care and should not take PE today. Please execute him. <\/li>\n
  2. Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and i had her shot. <\/li>\n
  3. Dear school: please ecsc’s john being absent on jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33. <\/li>\n
  4. Please excuse gloria from jim today. She is administrating. <\/li>\n
  5. Please excuse roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip. <\/li>\n
  6. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part. <\/li>\n
  7. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins. <\/li>\n
  8. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side. <\/li>\n
  9. Please excuse ray friday from school. He has very loose vowels. <\/li>\n
  10. Please excuse pedro from being absent yesterday. He had diahre dyrea direathe the sh**s. <\/li>\n
  11. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust. <\/li>\n
  12. Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his father’s fault. <\/li>\n
  13. I kept billie home because she had to go christmas shopping because i don’t know what size she wear. <\/li>\n
  14. Please excuse jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it monday. We thought it was sunday. <\/li>\n
  15. Sally won’t be in school a week from friday. We have to attend her funeral. <\/li>\n
  16. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines. <\/li>\n
  17. Please excuse mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps. <\/li>\n
  18. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover. <\/li>\n
  19. Please excuse brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor. <\/li>\n
  20. Maryann was absent december 11-16, because she had a fever, sorethroat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever an sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn’t the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    I sincerely hope that this e-mail collection of "real" excuse notes written by parents in Tennessee is a humorous urban legend. Unfortunately, I find it all too believable. Thanks to Bev for sending. My son is under a doctor’s care and should not take PE today. Please execute him. Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and i had her shot. Dear school: please ecsc’s john being absent on jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33….<\/p>\n

    Read More Read More<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[16,5,13,14],"tags":[619,586,407,1385,6170,1386,674,239],"class_list":["post-1030","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-academia","category-culture","category-humor","category-virus-related","tag-academic","tag-american-idiots","tag-cultural","tag-email-meme","tag-humor","tag-left-behind","tag-meme","tag-viral"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.virushead.net\/vhrandom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1030","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.virushead.net\/vhrandom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.virushead.net\/vhrandom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.virushead.net\/vhrandom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.virushead.net\/vhrandom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1030"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.virushead.net\/vhrandom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1030\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.virushead.net\/vhrandom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1030"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.virushead.net\/vhrandom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1030"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.virushead.net\/vhrandom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1030"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}