Fun With Blogs – Page 25

Saxby Chambliss Says He Wants Me

2006/07/25 VirusHead Comments 4 comments

Saxby and I correspond quite often, so I feel comfortable thinking of him by his first-name rather than by the whole ducal title “Republican Senator of Georgia, Saxby Chambliss.” I’ve never known anyone named Saxby before.

His job is to work for me and to protect my interests, as a citizen of Georgia and the United States. I don’t feel as though I really have that many people working for me, so I take the responsibility very seriously. I write to him often, expressing concerns, laying out arguments, proposing solutions and – most importantly – asking him to consider (at least on occasion) using his vote for the common good.

That man! Sometimes I think he really forgets that he’s supposed to represent all our interests, not just those of some of us. Sometimes he ignores my correspondence. Sometimes he sends a form letter. On nearly every issue, he votes in just the opposite way from what I had requested (bless his heart).

Men. What can you do? I was really starting to become despondent about our relationship, but then I received a wonderful email from Saxby today – just after noon.

I won’t quote the whole letter, because … well, it’s full of the usual, and let’s just leave it at that.

Amazingly, he has proclaimed his desire for me! He offers himself to me – forever, and without hesitation!

Thank you for contacting me with your concerns for S. 2253, a bill to require the Secretary of the Interior to offer the 181 Area of the Gulf of Mexico for oil and gas leasing. I appreciate hearing from you and want you.

Natural gas prices have been rising … Blah, blah, blah….

Thank you again for taking the time to contact me. If you would like to receive timely email alerts regarding the latest congressional actions and my weekly e-newsletter, please sign up via my web site at: www.chambliss.senate.gov. Please do not hesitate to be in touch if I may ever be of assistance to you.

Sincerely,

Saxby Chambliss
United States Senate

For all that Senator Chambliss says he “wants me,” and offers to be there for me (anytime and for ever), it seems he doesn’t take my requests for assistance very seriously. Our relationship is still very rocky.

But we don’t really have a relationship, do we? Who really gets the benefit of the votes he casts?

Follow the money, girls. Follow the money.

The thing that really hurts my feelings? I’m already on his newsletter list, and he didn’t even notice.

VirusHead in Space Again

2006/07/25 VirusHead Comments 4 comments

I love, love, love this idea. I don’t care if any marketing folk make fun of me and think I’m a simple mark for the ploy. Here’s the service, here’s the fun stuff – I’ll gladly send them traffic. Honest, don’t you want a certificate every few months that your blog has been transmitted into space? The messages are cute too.

Next, I would really like the flying cars, the transporter beam, and the holodeck. How about that limitless, safe and cheap energy? Anybody working on that? I was sure we’d have it by now.

Dear Humanoid:

The landing of Space Shuttle Discovery was no end at all, yet the beginning to the double digit attempt of having alien life forms contact us as thousands of blogs left Planet Earth for a mission of their own. Please take this certificate as a symbolization of your audacious bravery on July 18, 2006 at 12:07 AM EST at North Latitude 28Â° 29′ 23” and West Longitude 80Â° 35′ 08” at a frequency of 5945 Mhz. This mission will not falter.

While many may have followed in your footsteps in the past, taking missions to the International Space Station to fix orbiters, your mission has gone even further, surpassing the station, Mars, Venus and out of the galaxy. Your mission is limitless, until it reaches a being with the ability to transcode, transcribe and transmit a return message. While it may not be in the lifetime, the Blog in Space team is certain this day will come.

Please, only encourage other life forms to return a message through transmitter waves, storks or Morse code. The Blog in Space team supports only safe intergalactic communications.

When Telling the World Simply Isn’t Enough.

Friendly Green Wishes,

– The Blog in Space Team

I’m thrilled to be signified by herby too!

Dubya’s Dashboard – ooh, shiny

2006/07/24 VirusHead Comments 4 comments

Since I’m considered a nationally influential blogger, particularly for the viral distribution of bright shiny Blogger objects, here’s another: Dubya’s Dashboard from JumperBailey.com

In addition to counting the number of days left, it gives a few hints as to why many of us are counting down the days.

I’m placing it on the sidebar right beneath the running national debt so as to quicklook the misery.

<br /> <a href="http://jumperbailey.com/dashboard/index.php" target=_blank>Get the<br />Dubya Dashboard!</a><br />

Here’s the explanation, and I’ll plug in the numbers for today.

Days Left, 911
The number of days left in Dubya’s presidency. 911, huh?
Approval = 31%
Dubya’s current approval rating as determined by Gallup (updated every couple of weeks)
Deficit/Surplus = $319B
The current U.S. budget deficit (updated annually)
Forbes 400 = $1.13T
The cumulative wealth of the richest 400 Americans, which interestingly dwarfs the deficit (updated annually)
Soldiers = 2648
The number of coalition deaths in the Iraq War (updated weekly)
WMD = 0
The number of “weapons of mass destruction” found, which is the ostensible reason we went to war in the first place (updated whenever we find them)

Links:

An approval “trend” graph which shows the president’s Gallup approval rating over the course of his administration. (Updated every few weeks)
A budget deficit “trend” graph (shown as a percentage of GDP) which charts our budget deficit history from JFK to Dubya. (Updated annually)
A “winners” table which shows which segments of society won and lost after taxes from 2002 to 2003.
A list of the names, ages, and hometowns of the men and women who have lost their lives in the Iraq conflict. (Updated weekly until the deaths stop)
A “Get the Dashboard!” link which allows people to get their own dashboard.

My criticisms are these:

The statistics, graphs and lists aren’t updated often enough.
It’s not intuitively clear that you can click within the frame to return to the original state of the display.
I had to adjust the width and height to get rid of scrollbars.
It would be a better strategy all around to have the links go out to full webpages

I would like to see an expanded version of these kinds of statistics. Here are some of my suggestions for blog toymakers:

How much money is being printed (trend report)
Amount of tax revenue lost through corporate welfare (trend report)
Environmental effects – Increase in children with asthma, extinctions, top 50 companies who destroy for profit, etc.
Number of schools “left behind” (Does that phrase remind you of the Rapture, or is it just me?)
Average college tuition (trend report)
Average student loan debt (trend report)
Average household credit card debt (trend report)
Consumer price index, and price of a gallon of: milk, gasoline, housepaint, water (trend report)

VirusHead

Contagious Thoughts, Mutating as Needed

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Saxby Chambliss Says He Wants Me

2006/07/25 VirusHead Comments 4 comments