rx Music
A guy called “Rx” has spent unknown hours collecting sound bites of Bush and has put his words together along to music. Warning: Some of the songs have adult lyrics.
The Rx Site for the party party album.
Thanks PusBoy
No Plans
Just discovered polical comedy in court-jester style at Daily Dose of Durst at the Progressive. (Thanks to Etherealgirl!)
Yesterday’s nugget:
“Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice says we have no plans to attack Iran. Which is not good news for Iran because the last time we said we didn’t have plans to attack somebody we were already working on those plans we didn’t have.”
Ready for the Rapture?
“The prophetic speedometer of end-time activity,” the Rapture Ready site claims to factor together end time components into a “cohesive indicator” and to “standardize those components to eliminate the wide variance that currently exists with prophecy reporting” to measure the type of activity that could act as a precursor to the rapture.
“You could say the Rapture index is a Dow Jones Industrial Average of end time activity, but I think it would be better if you viewed it as prophetic speedometer. The higher the number, the faster we’re moving towards the occurrence of pre-tribulation rapture.”
There are 45 indicators, but they don’t appear to show the names of the 2 “false prophets” that head the list. Lots of interesting reading. Sheesh.
Thanks, Michael, for the link.
No School Left Standing
In Response to President Bush’s federal “No Child Left Behind Act” (NCLB), it is proposed that students will have to pass a test to be promoted to the next grade level.
In the hope that this proposal will be uniformly adopted by all of the states, the new test will be called the Federal Arithmetic and Reading Test, or FART.
All students who cannot pass a FART in the 2nd grade will be retested in Grades 3, 4 & 5 until they are capable of passing a FART score of 80%.
If a student does not succesfully FART by grade 5, that student shall be placed in a seperate English program known as the Special Mastery Elective for Learning Launguage or SMELL.
If, with this increased SMELL program, the student cannot pass the required FART test, he or she can still graduate to middle school byu taking another one semester course in Comprehensive Reading and Arithmetic Preperation or CRAP.
If by age 14 the student still cannot FART, SMELL or CRAP, he or she can earn promotion in an intensive one-week seminar known as the Preperatory Reading for Unprepared Nationally Exempted students or PRUNES.
It is the opinion of the Department of Instruction for Public Schools (DIPS) that an intensive week of prunes will enable any student to FART, SMELL, or CRAP.
This revised provision of the student component of the House Bill 101 should help “clean the air” as part of the “No School Left Standing” Act.
(email – thanks Willow!)
A man-made tsunami
Guardian Unlimited | Guardian daily comment | A man-made tsunami
Thank you once again Terry Jones!!!!
Why no fundraisers for the Iraqi dead?
“Of course it’s wonderful to see the human race rallying to the aid of disaster victims, but it’s the inconsistency that has me foxed. Nobody is making this sort of fuss about all the people killed in Iraq, and yet it’s a human catastrophe of comparable dimensions.”
…
“I haven’t seen many TV reporters standing in the ruins of Falluja, breathlessly describing how, in 30 years of reporting, they’ve never seen a human tragedy on this scale. The Pope hasn’t appealed for everyone to remember the Iraqi dead in their prayers, and MTV hasn’t gone silent in their memory. Nor are Blair and Bush falling over each other to show they recognise the scale of the disaster in Iraq. On the contrary, they have been doing their best to conceal the numbers killed.”
..
“So, are deaths caused by bombs and gunfire less worthy of our pity than deaths caused by a giant wave? Or are Iraqi lives less worth counting than Indonesian, Thai, Indian and Swedish? Why aren’t our TV companies and newspapers running fundraisers to help Iraqis whose lives have been wrecked by the invasion? Why aren’t they screaming with outrage at the man-made tsunami that we have created in the Middle East?”
Pause of Mr. Claus
For the season, here is the ending snippet of Arlo Guthrie’s “The Pause of Mr. Claus.” His long introduction is actually most of the piece. I have always thought this song expressed something fundamental – and unfortunately, its form of gentle satire is again pertinent to American culture. Still, the song has a cheerfulness that has always made me smile.
Why do you sit there so strange?
Is it because you are beautiful?
You must think you are deranged
Why do police guys beat on peace guys?
You must think Santa Clause weird
He has long hair and a beard
Giving his presents for free
Why do police guys mess with peace guys?
Let’s get Santa Clause ’cause;
Santa Clause has a red suit
He’s a communist
And a beard, and long hair
Must be a pacifist
What’s in the pipe that he’s smoking?
Mister Clause sneaks in your home at night.
He must be a dope fiend, to put you up tight
Why do police guys beat on peace guys?
©1968,1969 Appleseed Music Inc. (ASCAP)