Zimmerman Funny
No, not Bob Dylan (Robert Allen Zimmerman) but Roy Zimmerman.
His songs are a little goofy, but I like this one.
For your enjoyment: Jerry Falwell’s God
Your Peculiar Aristocratic Title
Lady Fortune the Absurd of Greater Internetshire presents – Your very own eccentric British aristocratic title:
For my real name:
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My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is: Entirely Miss Reverend Lady Heidi the Abrupt of Withering Glance Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title |
For my internet name:
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My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is: Empress Virushead the Gnomic of Lardle St Earache Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title |
For a couple of my aliases:
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My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is: Her Grace Lady Melody the Decent of Divine Intervention Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title |
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My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is: Reverend Countess Faelily the Blossoming of Mousehole by Sea Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title |
Feedback on JW Jokes
It’s good to hear from former Jehovah’s Witnesses, although it also makes me very sad to hear the familiar narratives of abuse and shunning. Thank you for writing, Aella Brenna, and I’m glad that you got some distance and healing through laughter. Thrive with light and love.
i’m an ex-JW who has since become a pagan because the beliefs make more sense to me. i found the humour about JW’s on your site refreshing and amusing as I left three years ago and have consequently not heard from my parents or little sister for three years.
So i just wanted to say thanks for the healing to my soul that your jokes provided.
Especially since I was abused when i was growing up both emotionally and physically and watched my mother and sister being abused to, and my abusive dad backed his actions up with the bible and was an elder in the local congregation whom everyone looked up to and thought well of. Of course they never saw what he was like behind closed doors and I was too terrified to tell anyone.
i also didn’t ever like the fact that the bible said one thing but the watchtower said another and that the organisation had taken the place of God to most people. If only they’d read their bibles properly they would see that things have become overly complicated. So i’ve gone back to the old religion.
Just wanted to say thanks for the jokes.
Aella Brenna (it means Whirlwind daughter of Raven)
W Made an Impression on Reagan
Uh-huh. Exactly.
“A moment I’ve been dreading. George brought his n’er-do-well son around this morning and asked me to find the kid a job. Not the political one who lives in Florida; the one who hangs around here all the time looking shiftless. This so-called kid is already almost 40 and has never had a real job. Maybe I’ll call Kinsley over at The New Republic and see if they’ll hire him as a contributing editor or something. That looks like easy work.”
— Ronald Reagan, The Reagan Diaries
Thanks to Corinne!
Update six hours later:
But wait! This was just too accurate to be true. I’m holding my head down in chagrin for not Googling a likely phrase, but it seemed so… so… right.
It’s all right here on Snopes.
Thanks James.
Rooms in the George W. Bush Museum
Thanks to Memere’s email delivery service…. with a couple of slight corrections…
The George W Bush Presidential Museum is now in the planning stages. It was supposed to be a library, but the planners kept resigning. You’ll want to be one of the first to make a contribution to this great man’s legacy.
The Museum will include:
- The Hurricane Katrina Room, which is still under construction.
- The Alberto Gonzales Room, where you can’t remember anything.
- The Texas Air National Guard Room, where you don’t have to even show up.
- The Walter Reed Hospital Room, where they don’t let you in.
- The Guantanamo Bay Room, where they don’t let you out.
- The Weapons of Mass Destruction Room, which no one will be able to find.
- The Iraq War Room, where they make you go back. After you complete your first tour, they make you return for second, third, fourth, and sometimes fifth tours.
- The Dick Cheney Room, in an undisclosed location, complete with shooting gallery. If you have the right connections, you might get there, but there are no promises about your location in relation to the gun.
- The K-Street Project Gift Shop, where you can buy – or just steal – an election.
- The Airport Men’s Room, where you can meet some of your favorite Republican Senators in an informal location.
- Last, but not least, there will be an entire floor devoted to a 7/8 scale model of the President’s ego.
To help you find the President’s accomplishments, the museum will have an electron microscope.
President Bush said that he didn’t care so much about the individual exhibits as long as his museum was better than his father’s.
The Vicki Strategy?
I don’t know – and I truly don’t care – whether or not John McCain had a “romantic involvement” with lobbyist Vicki Iseman. Honestly, I keep expecting him to start referring to her as “that woman.” Give me a break. Can’t we break this obsession with our politicians’ sex lives?
John and Cindy McCain been married for a long time and been through a lot together, but I can’t help thinking an unkind thing. Cindy McCain reminds me of Cruella DeVille. Blond tresses notwithstanding, Cindy McCain’s bionic eyes on that manni-kin body give me the serious creepy crawlies.
People had problems with Hillary as First Lady. They ridiculed John Kerry’s wife Teresa. I haven’t really seen any serious coverage of Cindy McCain yet. All I can tell you is that in a very superficial way (I admit it), I’m not liking what I see when I picture her as First Lady. Given what I know about McCain, I guess I wouldn’t be surprised if he was straying.
Take it further. Vicki Iseman looks a bit like a younger version of Cindy McCain, no? Has no-one noticed the resemblance between these two women? Or are they just too hesitant to say it?
It’s easy to think that John McCain simply fits a certain stereotype of the power-drunk man looking to update to the current model, right?
But somehow that’s not what went through my mind.
What if that assumption is what drives this whole thing? It’s as though Vicki were made to order.
What if she were?
Given the following anecdote about about McCain met (second wife) Cindy, it would be a simple matter to draw up a battle plan that included a kind of mata-hari woman who could “push his buttons.” How do you win friends and influence people in politics? Power, money or charisma – preferably all three, right?
Cindy and John met in 1979 at a military reception in Honolulu. John: “She was lovely, intelligent and charming, 17 years my junior but poised and confident. I monopolized her attention the entire time, taking care to prevent anyone else from intruding on our conversation. When it came time to leave the party, I persuaded her to join me for drinks at the Royal Hawaiian Hotel. By the evening’s end, I was in love.”
If you were highly motivated to influence McCain, wouldn’t it make sense to identify McCain’s likes and dislikes, his attractions and repulsions? With all his rhetoric against lobbying, wouldn’t it be silly not to notice that it might take more than money to move this bear?
Everything I’ve heard about this story is focussed on the wrong end of it. I think it’s a story about using sexual attraction as one more lobbying strategy. Ask any doctor about the hunks and chicks they send to push the new drugs out onto the market.
For election coverage, I would prefer to see more criticism of McCain’s actual record. There’s plenty there to examine.
And please, I beg of you please, please stop using that photo of McCain hugging Bush. Stop using it. I found the whole thing disturbing enough at the time.