I was listening to some old comedy by the late Bill Hicks last night, and one thing he said had me on the floor laughing. He was approached by some big, hulky guys after an engagement. “Hey buddy. We’re Christians, and we didn’t like what you said.” His response? So forgive me. Keep this in mind. I have engraved it inside, and will call it out at every opportunity from now on. It will be a default, standard response to…
Just in time for the holidays! Don’t waste time trying to write a reasonable, nuanced missive to explain your position and how you feel. Who ever does more than skim your letters anyway? The dysfunctional family letter generator is very humorous, especially if you’ve had a few “rough patches” with nuclear family, extended family, half-family, step-family, ex-stepfamily, adopted family, foster family, and any other kind of family-type unit that I may have forgotten to mention. The ideal would be if…
No kidding. Hell is open for business. Of course, “hell” is not the best translation of “L’Enfer.” “Inferno” would be better, but Hell rings about right (if you would excuse the pun) for much of the current American audience . [Aside: Have you ever looking into the meaning of “Lucifer”? Light-bearer, god of light, Venus, the morning star, son of dawn. In Hebrew it means “Helel (bright one) son of Shachar (dawn).” Helel, the morning star, was a Babylonian (Canaanite)…
This quiz has some great possibilities… comment and tell me your own historical lunatic! Which Historical Lunatic Are You?From the fecund loins of Rum and Monkey. You are Joshua Abraham Norton, first and only Emperor of the United States of America! Born in England sometime in the second decade of the nineteenth century, you carved a notable business career, in South Africa and later San Francisco, until an entry into the rice market wiped out your fortune in 1854. After…
Stumbled across a fictional service call that gives a more honest view of the mentality of that Jehovah’s Witness at your door. A little sample: Witness: Well, God’s going to kill you. And … well, I can see from the toys in your yard that you have children. Am I right? Householder: Yes. Witness: Well, God’s going to kill them, too. And it’ll be your fault. There. You’ve been warned. I’ve just discharged my own responsibility, so the bloodguilt is…
Laughter is good for you. The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an Eagle to a condom because it more accurately reflects the government’s political stance. A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you’re actually being screwed. The Darwin awards is always fun (try the random button) and actually, The Onion is pretty good today with gems like “Mitt…