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Another Former JW Writes

Another Former JW Writes

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Thank you for writing, N! This is one of the most wonderful and gratifying responses to my recovering Jehovah’s Witnesses advice page that I have received. It helps me too – quite a lot – to know that you are out there.

I really wanted to say hi and to thank you for taking the time to create a humourous and humanitarian approach to deconstructing the internal witness! It is great for me to read your advice and discover an affiliation with my own methods of survival over the past 16 years. Just recently, I have been observing some parts of me that have been raising there head that i have been puzzled by and not particularly enjoying, its like “where is this coming from ???” and I had this ephiphany, “I was taught my whole life to think that I was right and everyone else is wrong …..in everything !!” So for the first time I decided to get on the net and check out what might be going on for the others of us, and i have found your site to be really right on for me. Then I realised you are a woman….. but of course !!

It took me also about a decade to come to a point of feeling like i was getting a grip on myself, starting to learn who I am, cultivating my own sense of spirituality, coming to understand the powerfulness of woman, bearing two children, travelling the world and always studying culture, myth, meditation, scriptures of all kinds in my own ways, thoroughly and with a passion that I feel like was the gift that I received from being a witness.

It was beautiful for me to discover your encouragement for others to seek the positive in their experience. It seems through my discoveries on the net over the past few days that there are several sites there to help those on the way out, or something, yet the focus seems to be on the pain.

I can really relate to this, yet I feel like the key to getting through it to being a healthy happy productive human being is in finding the way to turn the experience into the positive for yourself. I felt very akin to the record of your advice on this level (right down to the watching of monty python), and it seemed to me really necessary to be said after reading much of the other stuff that is out there. So thanks for saying it.

I too feel a diffinative certainty as to my never returning to the organisation, much to my families dismay (you’d think by now they would have got the picture ) And for me the concept of it being a religious issue has long since passed. I have a rich spiritual life which is my own in the making, its very liberating, exciting even. I am definately enjoying having political opinions and being able to activate myself in those directions feels like a privilage. Yet every now and then I notice things arising in me, qualities, or opinions that I still need to check out, like layers of an onion that I feel like are in some way or another related to my upbringing. I wonder whether I will ever get done processing this ?? Its a bit of a drag, but its cool too in its own way. So thus I write this letter to you, my more than sister if you dig, to ask if this happens to you too ??

I hope to keep some correspondance with you, if you feel so inclined, and once again thank you for taking the time to nourish a different perspective than victim consciousness. Blessed be.
Love -N

I dig. Yes, let’s correspond. Thank you so much for your words, and for discovering resonance and value in what I’ve said. There are others who aim for a more positive and healing set of approaches, but it’s true that we are probably a smaller fraction. Take what you can use and disregard anything that doesn’t feel right for you and your experience.

It’s easy to give in to the substantial feelings of anger, frustration and sense of betrayal. I get bitter once in a while myself, but you are right that expanding one’s ability to pursue one’s own unique spiritual path is the more healing and productive way.

My own feeling about the things you mention – that bubble up from time to time for me as well – is that this is what happens with all reflective people. We are reinterpreting our experiences throughout our whole lives. Something will remind us, and we will view it from where we are at that moment. I think that it part of living and and thinking and as you say, processing – very natural, part of growing. We do this throughout our lives. I still get a sick feeling in my gut when I hear words like “worldly” and “district overseer.” Psychological traumas, basic brainwashing, and even nostalgia are very powerful.

In every repetition, there is always a difference. You have more choice about this than it seems, but it requires close attention and self-awareness. Some memory materials (and some of the frameworks within which we interpret them and feel about them) are configured in certain kinds of fairly predictable ways for anyone who has been a member of an authoritarian group such as the JWs. This is especially so for someone who was raised as a JW from birth. We are so trained to be self-righteous and sure about our (actually the Watchtower Society’s) judgments, that we tend to close down our own curiosity – and imagination – and empathy – and compassion.

So if we want to thrive and grow we are always processing our issues and trying to heal or remake the way we think and react – to gain more insight and wisdom, to pull out what is redeeming and what has contributed in a beneficial way to our growth and thriving, and to grant less power to what has been destructive to ourselves and others.

The fact that you are noticing these moments (these things that you see in yourself that seem somewhat uncharacteristic or preset in some way) is a terrific advance! They remain blind spots for many. Treat each recognition as a gift and decide for yourself how to accept, reject, or transform it – for now.

No, I don’t think the process ever stops – and actually I think that’s a good thing because it creates depth and understanding. If you feel overwhelmed, there are ways to create islands, temporary resting places. You can’t stay on them forever since everything changes, but you can learn how to change along with it. Like surfing, floating, riding – creating an internal center of gravity that can itself move.

For me, it’s learning to ask better questions. It’s a kind of constant concern that I can ride through different perspectives. Maybe later I won’t even need to be focused on forming better questions, but it’s been a good kind of path for me so far. I’ve noticed that the more the questions are in service to others, the better they ring inside. When I get too self-absorbed, I get a bit morbid.

Still, one can go too far. When I get too self-sacrificial, I lose a sense of self-worth. You have to have something to give. You have to care for yourself to care for others. You’re a mom, so you know that – but it bears repeating to any female former JW!

Blessed be, and be blessed.

Ex-Jehovah’s Witness Raven

Ex-Jehovah’s Witness Raven

Comments 3 comments

Just posted this for my friend and fellow ex-JW Richard. He is blind, so I post his blog entries for him. He has written a number of books that I found helpful, and he has devoted himself to a life in love’s service. He’s a mystic and has all sorts of interesting opinions on a wide range of topics. I really enjoy helping him out in the little ways that I can.

When I saw this little nugget, I had to post it here as well. For those of you who got short-changed in American Literature class, it’s a version of Edgar Allen Poe’s most well-known poem, “The Raven.” The Raven has become a Jehovahs’ Witness at the door of a former member. I can relate.

On upon a morning, dreary,
as I pondered weak and weary
over many a quaint and curious volume
of forgotten doctrine and Watchtower law.

all was quiet, no one talking,
and suddenly there came a knocking,
as if a giant clock tick-tocking,
knocking on my own front door,
only this, and nothing more.

Ah, distinctly I remember,
that Saturday in mid-September,
When I was visited by a member
of that group I was part of no more,
only this, and nothing more.

“They’ve found me,” I said in quiet terror
Why are they here, is it an error?
Surely they don’t want to have me
in their busy group once more!
only this and nothing more

I heard the knock, but I resisted,
and that annoyng knock persisted,
the Witness on my porch insisted,
that I answer my front door,
only this and nothing more.

Alas, the door I opened wide,
and saw him standing there outside
in a suit with necktie nicely tied
“Hello, Sir”, he said, smiling wide
and I hoped that he’d say nothing more.

“I’m here”, he said, “to fill a need,
With magazines and books to read,
to show you how you can survive
the coming Armageddon war”
he set his book bag on the floor.

“It’s obvious the world ain’t working
the devil, he is surely smirking,
over all the evil he’s inspired,
but God has a remedy in store.”
I sighed, I’d heard it all before.

“by a book and have a study
learn from me, I’ll be your buddy
and in time perhaps you’ll join us,
saving souls from door to door.”
boring already, and still more.

“The time is short for God to act,
it’s coming soon, and that’s a fact.
so sell your home and quit your job,
and leave your friends. We’ll find you more”
He smiled, but said nothing more.

I listened and I stood politely,
but inside felt anger burning brightly.
did he not know his message had
ruined many lives before?
With promises, and nothing more.

As I watched the man I wondered,
should I tell how often Brooklyn’s blundered,
Does he know his message that “Time is short”
has been preached for a hundred years or more?
the dates have changed, but nothing more.

Should I tell him of the rules that changed,
of doctrines gone or rearranged
by men who claim to speak for God
in those magazines, now at my door?
selling promises, and nothing more.

Does he know the heavy price he’ll pay,
if he ever thinks in his own way?
or breaks any of so many rules,
and each year they just add more.

Should I tell of my own family, taken,
their affections now forsaken,
’cause long ago I did awaken
to the lies that I’d believed before,
and had preached gladly, door to door.

Should I tell him of my father, dying,
old and feeble, but still trying
to make it to the paradise
that was always just “a few years more”?

In truth I knew not what to say,
so I asked the man, “Please go away”
don’t bother me with your books
I know I’ve read them all before.
the door closed and I said nothing more.

Should I have told him that the truth I’ve found
is not in books so brightly bound
and not from a place or learned man,
and the world is not in Satan’s hand?

Perhaps I should have warned him so
but this day was so long ago,
I said nothing as he left my door
and I saw this Witness, nevermore.

“Terry Allan Poe” (Terry Johnson)

JWs: From Bible Students to Slaves

JWs: From Bible Students to Slaves

Comments 13 comments

Under founder Charles Taze Russell, “International Bible Students” were somewhat anti-organizational, centered on personal study of the Bible.

Watchtower, Sept. 15, 1895, p. 216.
Beware of ‘organization.’ It is wholly unnecessary. The Bible rules will be the only rules you will need. Do not seek to bind others’ consciences, and do not permit others to bind yours. Believe and obey so far as you can understand God’s Word today.

A couple of years after Russell’s death, that view was already in transition to its opposite:

Watchtower, April 1, 1920, pp. 100-101.
We would not refuse to treat one as a brother because he did not believe the Society is the Lord’s channel. If others see it in a different way, that is their priviledge. There should be full liberty of conscience.

Russell’s successor Judge Joseph Rutherford was well-known for his exclamation that “religion is a snare and a racket.” Nonetheless, his first move was to claim the Society as the Lord’s “channel,” while still holding onto liberty of conscience and brotherly, agapic love.

The “Judge” changed the name of the group to “Jehovah’s Witnesses” in 1931, and it was only after this that they stopped celebrating holidays and using the cross as a symbol. While they did move away from following any particular human leader (as some had followed Pastor Russell), the organization did something much worse: they claimed to be God’s only voice and actual visible presence in the world. Since then, they have been focused on advertising work. Evangelical marketing. Viral spread.

Instead of being submissive to God alone, JWs are submissive to the Governing Body of the Watch Tower (or Watchtower) Society. Criticism and debate are prohibited and classified as apostate, demonic, pornographic. They equate questioning of the organization with Satan’s rebellion against God, while actually accusing the questioner of hubris! Amazing. There is no discussion of how this Governing Body actually gets its direction from God, but to question them is to question God; it’s unthinkable for the average JW to do so.

For all their “anti-worldly” talk, the Watchtower Society has built a lucrative publishing empire with a dedicated salesforce of unpaid associates – an unquestioning set of followers to spread the memes.

In answer to a reader’s question (thank you, Kathy S!), JWs are no longer forbidden to use the Internet. Their work has always gone hand-in-hand with “wordly” technological advances – they really aren’t Luddites. For obvious reasons, JWs were very resistent to the Internet at first, but after some time they gave up and simply gave the same kind of warnings that they would issue with regard to any other kind of publication or interaction: Stay away from worldly influences, don’t look at porn, don’t read information that opposes the Society, and so on. They have a great legal team. They have been able to strongarm a couple of opposing sites off the net with copyright issues, but they really can’t control the information that is out there. The Society set up their own official website, and the PR site, and advised their people not to attempt to represent the Society or its teachings in any way. They are doing damage control at assemblies and through their publications, casting any critical voices in the usual terms.

They are not opposed to using outside sources of information, just so long as they are selectively filtered and approved by the Governing Body of the Watchtower Society – but their outside source selections and interpretations of them are as cherry-picked as the evidence to go to war in Iraq.

The perceptions and insights of others, even of their own people, don’t count at all. Human life is subordinated to the controlling doctrines – which are loaded with special terminology, cliches, and code phrases that trigger reactions even in people who have left the group.

Attempts at authentic personal study and discovery are squelched, and dismissed as Satanic. Higher education is discouraged, and research is conducted only by authorized persons of the corporation. Rank and file JWs will not even supplement the materials of the publications with studies in languages, archeology, textual analysis, sociology, or pastoral counselling. They are not “bible students” or “ministers” – they are slaves of a corporation.

The Watchtower is not the instrument of any man or any set of men, nor is it published according to the whims of men. No man’s opinion is expressed in The Watchtower. – Watchtower, November 1, 1937, p.327.

God uses The Watchtower to communicate to his people: it does not consist of men’s opinions. – Watchtower, January 1, 1942, p. 5.

Theocratic ones will appreciate the Lord’s visible organization and not be so foolish as to pit against Jehovah’s channel their own human reasoning and sentiment and personal feelings.” – Watchtower, February 1, 1952, p. 80

Newcomers must learn to fall in line with the principles and policies of the New World society and act in harmony with them. Sometimes it becomes rather difficult for some of our new associates to make the change. They are prone to be a little rebellious or unruly. But to become genuinely a part of the New World society it is Imperative that proper respect for theocratic arrangement and order be shown. A humble, obedient mental attitude is required. – Watchtower, June 1, 1956, p. 345.

Who controls the organization, who directs it? Who is at the head? A man? A group of men? A clergy class? A pope? A hierarchy? A council? No, none of these. How is that possible? In any organization is it not necessary that there be a directing head or policy-making part that controls or guides the organization? Yes. Is the living God, Jehovah, the Director of the theocratic Christian organization? Yes! – Watchtower, November 1, 1956, p. 666.

Only this organization functions for Jehovah’s purpose and to his praise. To it alone God’s Sacred Word, the Bible, is not a sealed book. – Watchtower, July 1, 1973, p. 402.

Avoid Independent Thinking
From the very outset of his rebellion Satan called into question God’s way of doing things. He promoted independent thinking. ‘You can decide for yourself what is good and bad,’ Satan told Eve. ‘You don’t have to listen to God. He is not really telling you the truth.’ (Genesis 3:1-5) To this day, it has been Satan’s subtle design to infect God’s people with this type of thinking.—2 Timothy 3:1, 13.

How is such independent thinking manifested? A common way is by questioning the counsel that is provided by God’s visible organization. For example, God’s organization has from time to time given warnings about listening to certain types of immoral and suggestive music, and about frequenting discos and other types of worldly dance halls where such music is played and people are known to engage in immoral conduct. (1 Corinthians 15:33) Yet certain ones have professed to know better. They have rebelled against such counsel and have done what is right in their own eyes. With what result? Very often they have become involved in sexual immorality and have suffered severe spiritual harm. But even if they have not been so affected, are they not reprehensible if others follow their example and suffer bad consequences?—Matthew 18:6.

This fact cannot be overemphasized: We are in a war with superhuman foes, and we constantly need to be aware of this. Satan and his demons are real; they are not mere figments of the imagination. They are “the world rulers of this darkness,” and we have a spiritual fight against them. (Ephesians 6:12) It is absolutely vital that we recognize their subtle designs and not allow ourselves to be overreached by them. Very appropriately, then, we will next consider how we can arm ourselves to fight against these wicked spirits. – Watchtower, January 15, 1983, pp. 18-22, “Exposing the Devil’s Subtle Designs”

They rigorously promote the idea that any questioning or “independent thinking” is evil by definition. I hope a few ex-JWS (and current JWS too) have been watching the Frontline series “From Jesus to Christ” to get an idea of the range of some of the information they’ve been missing.

Actually, as I observe the sad collection of fanaticisms that pass for Christianity in America today, I hope much of the country was able to catch at least part of the series.

For such a prideful organization, an organization that has taken the place of God for so many, to equate discussion and debate and inquiry with Satanic rebellion, shows just how far from authentic spirituality they have strayed. JWs have lost the critical capacity even to see this contradiction, which negates their own historical aims. They have become much of what they had opposed. Now one could argue that in some ways they worship the organization, the governing body of the Watchtower Society, as much or more than they worship God. It’s a form of idolatry based on very very shaky biblical interpretation.

JW District Convention Invitation Received

JW District Convention Invitation Received

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What’s a girl got to do to have her house marked with an X on the local territory map of the JWs?

For the second time this week, I received a home-delivered invitation to the District Convention of Jehovah’s Witnesses. The first was delivered when we weren’t home. The second was delivered this morning by a lone man carrying an uncommonly nice leather valise. I think it’s the first time I’ve ever seen a JW at the door by himself; normally they travel in pairs. He didn’t say anything much, no attempt at the usual pitch – maybe he just wanted to get a look. Considering the other visits I’ve received, I wouldn’t be surprised.

I felt a little bit sorry for him. It’s a warm day, and my uphill driveway is difficult enough that we get few visitors at Halloween. So I didn’t ask any questions, didn’t make any statements. I just said “thank you,” and stepped back inside. The man who handed me the tract looked so cheerful. He is confident that he will survive and be part of God’s Kingdom. He thinks it is a literal place in history, and he’s going to see it and live forever on a Paradise earth while all the heretics and blasphemers and miscreants – basically, anyone who’s not a JW – die on the orders of the God of Love, with Christ (the Archangel Michael) arriving on a white horse for the slaughter. Sometimes I think the organization must be talking about an alien invasion of some kind. The cheerful man looks for “deliverance” from the world while not noticing (even as a black man) that the JW organizational structure is designed on the vocabulary of slavery: slave class, district/circuit overseer, and so on. But – each to their own path.

It’s amusing to note the differences between the official JW website and what JWs are actually taught at the Kingdom Hall. The Watchtower Society looks so benevolent online. You wouldn’t know that they were an extremely profitable set of corporations. Common JW phrases and words do not appear on the site. It’s easy to see the vetting by legal professionals and spindoctors on matters such as how to treat exJW family members, how to respond to domestic abuse or child abuse, their stance on pedophilia, in what circumstances it’s ok to lie in court, or even their views on male “headship.” Maybe current JWs don’t read the site, or somehow don’t notice the huge differences, or maybe they just assume that all is fair in “theocratic strategy.”

I looked at the invitation to attend the “Deliverance at Hand” District Convention of Jehovah’s Witnesses. I know for certain that they don’t want me to attend!

Under the text are sepia-toned depictions of “Poverty,” “Epidemics” and “Disasters.” Love the “helmuts” on the vague police/soldier guys, which look like a cross between Darth Vader and a Roman guard. Under these, a curved arrow points down (as transformational timeline?) onto their idea of the post-apocalyptic world. A strange pastoral in the regular JW style, it is set in a valley: Representatives from different races, smiling, tending a crop of flowers. One man pushing a wheelbarrow that overflows with grapes, watermelon, kale, and other produce. A yellow suburban house on the hill. A mountain lion sipping water from a stream, with children petting it – a gazelle and deer nearby.

On the back of the flyer, there is an illustration of a packed stadium, bordered at the left and bottom by a curve dotted with six illustrations (shouldn’t it be seven?) of the globe turned to different locations.

The conventions take place “from one end of the earth to the other” in July. They make a point of saying that no collections will be taken. An offer of a free book (“What Does the Bible Really Teach?”), along with a form to set up a free home Bible study, ends the page. There’s a little sticker for the dates, times, and location of the local 3-day convention.

I wonder how many hours of door to door service is required per book study these days? Per convert?

One feature of the convention “To Whose Authority Do You Submit,” is a “dramatic presentation in a Biblical setting” that promises to “highlight what loyalty to God really means.” They are backpedalling a bit, then, from the obedience and submission themes of last year. That was all about submission to the organization, obeying the dictates of the parrot-elders, and the like. The slight reorientation to God combined with the “Deliverance” theme is a bit troubling.

The last public address points to what is really meant by “Deliverance”:

Deliverance by God’s Kingdom Is at Hand!

Yikes. Ok, let me translate. Ask yourself… deliverance of who? from what? by who? how? when? Go ahead. Guess….

Answers: Deliverance of God’s submissive and obedient true people (i.e. Jehovah’s Witnesses at two levels – the great crowd of sheep, and the 144,000 intended to rule Planet Earth with Christ in heaven) from this evil and worldly system of things, by God and Christ, through global apocalypse. When? Any day now, just like they’ve been saying since the corporation got started.

Here’s the message. Listen up now:
Everybody had better join up with God’s voice on earth, the Jehovah’s Witnesses, lest they be destroyed. Got that? Join us or die. Sound familiar?

Love and compassion and ethics and service to others and patience and reason and gifts of the spirit and all manner of other spiritual qualities and goals and gifts don’t matter. What matters to the JWs is to bring in as many free workers as possible – under a death theat under God’s own authority.

Other evangelists do similar things, of course. Well, religious liberty and all that.

Actually, I don’t recall that there is anything much new in terms of fulfillment of their interpretations of biblical prophecies. If I remember correctly, I think the next thing in line was a united world religion, followed by its destruction by the UN (or a similar worldly organization transcending nations and having military “horns”). Of course there is the little matter of their doctrine, which says that the generation of 1914 “surely will not pass away” before the end comes, but I think they will be forced to see some “new light” on that one before too long.

They are incredible fear-mongers, not unlike the current Administration of the United States.

I do see economic disaster in our future, but again, one mustn’t blame God for our own stupidity and incompetence and greed. Unfortunately, religion is playing a very destructive role all around the globe – from one end of the earth to the other (sigh).

Ironically, I do think that we are poised on the brink of possible world catastrophes ranging from the threat of global warming to the escalations of war into nuclear catastrophe, but I don’t see either of these scenarios resulting in a cleansed earth fit for paradise. You know, unless they really are in contact with an advanced alien species whose earth rep is named YHWH.

The world today is more fearful than it has been in a long time. Apocalyptic pep talks don’t do much to help rebuild world sanity.

If the eagle can fight the dragon and the bear – which isn’t looking impossible – and the conflict escalates further in the middle east, and some bioweapons are let loose just as global warming really starts to accelerate, and the corporate fundies unite and pollute the rest of the planet under the name of their “stewardship” of the earth, then maybe the aliens will come in and rescue us. I guess. But why would they? It’s not as though we’re very good neighbors.

These are the thoughts that can run through your mind when you’ve been raised on this stuff. You can actually have a train of thought like this and weigh the merits of the speculative argument. Maybe it will help me write fiction.

I’m still waiting for someone to connect the dots and hire some blue-turbaned actor to ride through the gates on a donkey. Maybe that’s the signal to the fathership.

Victims of Child Abuse Hotline

Victims of Child Abuse Hotline

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Do you know a child who is being abused or molested?

If the crisis is now, please call 9-1-1!

Call the National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453)

Do not listen to any counsel that tells you to be silent. Everyone matters.

All calls are anonymous and toll-free. The hotline is staffed 24 hours daily with professional crisis counselors who utilize a database of thousands of emergency, social service and support resources.

The Childhelp hotline counselors can…

  • discuss signs and symptoms of abuse with you.
  • help you decide a course of action.
  • prepare you as to what to expect when reporting child abuse.
  • provide the number of the local reporting agency you should call.

Hotline counselors can look up the local reporting telephone number and give it to you. They can also stay on the phone line and make a 3-way call if you are nervous about doing it alone.

Law enforcement agencies (the police or sheriff’s departments) and child protective services are the ones who decide what will happen when there is child abuse. If a child is in immediate danger, however, counselors can call the local police to go to the child’s location if the hotline caller gives the address and the name of the child or teen who is being abused.

Other Hotlines

If you are in immediate danger call 9-1-1.

  • United States Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233
    Spanish Language: 1-800-942-6908
    TDD: 1-800-787-3224

  • United States Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673
  • Youth Crisis Hotline: 1-800-448-4663
  • National Center for Missing and Exploited Children: 1-800-843-5678
    TDD: 1-800-826-7653

  • United States Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-2433
  • Hotline For Parents Considering Abducting Their Children: 1-800-A WAY OUT
  • United States Missing Children Hotline: 1-800-235-3535
  • United States Elder Abuse Hotline: 1-866-363-4276
  • Find a Therapist: 1-800-865-0686