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JW Mailbag Selections

JW Mailbag Selections

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This time of year is more difficult for families dealing with JW stuff, so can I just say…. Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Blessed Yule, a Rockin’ Saturnalia, Groovy Kwansaa, and whatever else you feel like celebrating! Have a “Winter” party – call it whatever you like – have a “lights” party. Reach out to others in good will and kindness.

I don’t mean at all to be glib, but one of the things JWs can’t understand very well is actual love, forgiveness, happiness and especially celebration. They will tell you that they celebrate every day but of course they don’t. Humans respond to ritual and repetition – we are part of a world of cycles and circles and repetitions.

This entry is dedicated to the memory of my father, who died two years ago today. Rest in peace, Daddy. We hold you close in our hearts.
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Here are some selections from the JW mailbag. Some have requested that I not post their questions, others have been edited somewhat for privacy. This first is from a personal friend as well as a former JW – I would really like for him to write back (hear me, L?).

Could you please contact me? I’m just lost and in pain right now. All I ask is for your kindness and compassion? Please? L

L, dear friend. Don’t disappear again. Please please write me back and tell me what’s going on. I have no contact information for you. I’m here for you as always.

what an amazing article. i have a partner who quite recently came out of the jw cult. he still hasnt found his way and suffers low self esteem and feels as if he’s an outsider to the rest of the world. i would love to send him your article as an aid in his recovery. many thanks – w

He needs all your support. Let me know if I can help in any way.

I’ll try to make it short… (i’ll try) ExJW. was born and raised in religion, quit when i was 16 and have never gone back despite of enormous pressure from family. I read a book that helped me tremendously and did not see it on your list. It’s called When God Becomes a Drug. Don’t know if you’ve read it but it deals with religion as an addictive family problem. It’s written by Father (yes, catholic priest) Leo Booth. Check it out.

When God Becomes a Drug

Thanks for the recommendation!

I appreciate all the information on your website. I would also appreciate very much your including “Captives of a Concept” in your list of books.

Six Million Jehovah’s Witnesses Held Captive
Captives of a Concept is designed to help the reader understand the illusionary concept that holds millions of Jehovah’s Witnesses captive by molding their thinking and actions without them realizing it. Those who understand this concept and how it is maintained will never make the same mistake that has already caused millions of people to become captives of it.

The book offers suggestions that eliminate debating with Jehovah’s Witnesses about the Bible does or doesn’t teach. It is available in PDF Download and Print versions. There is additional information at www.CaptivesOfaConcept.com
Don

Captives of a Concept (Anatomy of an Illusion)

It was added to the books page. This press release includes a good description of the major point: “The author narrows the matter down to just one thing that needs to be known about their Watchtower Society: Is it what it claims to be, “God’s organization;” God’s sole “channel of communication” to all mankind? The book answers this question by comparing the Watchtower’s interpretation of Matthew 24:45-47 with the organization’s recorded history that relates to their interpretation. Cameron explains the reason why there are six million Jehovah’s Witnesses today is because they all made the same mistake of not making this examination before they decided to join this religion. One of the things that makes the book different is that it doesn’t try to compare the Bible’s teachings with Watchtower teachings. Therefore it isn’t necessary to know anything about the Bible (or even believe the Bible for that matter) This is because it isn’t what Jehovah’s Witnesses believe about the Bible that is holding them captive. It is what they believe about the Watchtower Society that does it.”

I discovered your site last night and I felt relieved to read some of the things I read. I have never met another ex witness. I was born and raised a witness baptized at 12 and left when I was 18. I have never quite recovered and have recently started to rebuild my life. M

Hang in there M! Here if you need to talk.

Hardworking and driven but caring, family man. Been through “hell” in the last 12 months resulting in a near divorce/nervous breakdown. Councelling has established that a JW upbringing has accounted for much of my low self esteem as an adult.

Low self-esteem is a common thread. I hope that you are (productively) building it back up. Let me know if you discover especially good strategies for doing so and I’ll pass them on.

help..I’ve seen some bad hypocrisy..how do I leave..how do I chnage a lifetime of views….my head is so messed up, I don’t know what I think anymore. M

M – Stop – take a deep breath. I’m reading this as a distress call, and if that’s the case, please get some help now. If it was a momentary thing, tell me how you’re feeling and what you need to get through for the next little bit and let’s see if we can’t lay out a plan. Tell me more about what has happened. Do you have a good friend (non_jw) to support you at this time – someone you can really talk to? Pray for guidance and wisdom. Take it one little step at a time.

I came across the article you wrote on being an ex JW and have to say it was one of the best I’ve read to date and I really appreciate it. I found it to be very balanced and overall great advice for getting on with one’s life.

It’s been nine years out for me, but even now I still struggle daily with my new & old beliefs (even after 2 years of therapy); Is the world really going to be destroyed? Am I an apostate now for having an opinion? Am I just a prideful person who needs to admit my own mistakes and repent? etc.

I didn’t realize just how screwed up I was and just how far I’ve come until recently. All the years I was a Witness (born into it until age 19), I had doubts about certain things – extreme subordination of women (staying with an abusive partner!), disfellowshipping, views on homosexuality, blood transfusions, limited association & contact with “the world” – but I knew that to question anything was to show a “lack of faith.”

I was also baptized at a very young age (13) – frankly way too young to have a full grasp of what I was doing. I never thought that I’d ever change my mind, so of course losing my entire family and all of my friends at age 19 came as a terrible shock.

I’m very happy with where I am right now, but I know I still have a long way to go.

P.S. Looney Tunes line was hilarious! I completely forgot about that until now. Shared it with a few friends and they remember too. Can’t say I miss the songs very much… B

How pleasant to see brothers.. all dwell in unity. Dah da dah da dadad da dah…

Sometimes a little laughter can help once in a while. I am sorry that you had to rebuild from age 19 – it does sound as though you have found your own voice. Keep on. Here anytime.

Thanks so much for the information. I am doing my best to find out as much as I can. I was raised in “the truth” and I was disfellowshiped when I was 22 after a messy divorce from a man who claimed to be a brother…. long story lol …anyway I am now going to be 30 soon and I have 3 children which I want to make sure they are learning the right things. I don’t want to do to them what my mother did to me. I had a lot of abuse in reguards to the faith mentally. Im just so torn between knowing what I MUST do to survive and then knowing that it may all be lies. The witnesses have the closest thing to the truth about God that I have seen. So its very hard to turn away from that plus the hard pull of the ever preached Death by GOD if you dont carry on doing what they claim God tells them. Anyway Im sure you dont want to hear or read rather me going on and on LOL. I just wanted to say thank you for replying to me and I wish you all the best! M

Best wishes to you, M. Don’t give up on God just yet – think of the image of the mother hen protecting its chicks. All words about God are by necessity metaphorical – find the way you yourself are called to be, in your astounding uniqueness. If there is a God, I believe that this is closer to what might have been intended or hoped-for.

I just wanted to say “kudos” to you for speaking out about your experiences as a Jehovah’s Witness. I used to work with some who also left their community only to be threatened with bodily harm for doing so. As a former Catholic turned Atheist, I find it sad how some people let religion take over their lives in extremes like that. Good luck with your future endeavors. D

I’ve not heard of bodily threats before – well, except for that God himself was going to kill non-JWs. I would like to hear more of your experiences with that. Were the threats from family members or elders or people in the congregation?

hi, i thought id take some time to leave a message, im a 17 year old girl, i was a jehovah’s witness from when i was born i was about 12 years old, after, i started to drift away because my parents divorced and my family moved to another state, lately i have been doing a lot of thinking about what i gave up a few years back, i didnt give it up because i had been wronged or that i didnt agree with the beliefs, i gave it up because my new congregation was hard to get into and i felt like i had no friends, im really not sure why this happened, anyway, since this time, i have gone to all kinds of other churches to try to understand what every other “christian” believes and why. i am still trying to find out what other people think of jehovahs witnesses and why so many people think negatively of them. they are humans and nonetheless flawed. as i drifted away from God and stopped attending the meetings, stopped praying, reading the bible, etc, my life slowly went downhill, i got to a low point last year, this seems to me all because i had turned my back on Jehovah, i feel like i deeply regret it now that i have passed that low point, im not back with Jehovah’s Witnesses yet but i wish to be. you truly must be humble, honest, and hungry for the truth to be a witness, i really believe the kingdom hall is where i need to be going because of all the other churches ive gone to, they are the most factually sound, they dont skim over things, they go into depth, they do the research, they have researched into things unlike every other christian church, maybe if the other churches would do some research they would understand why we call God “Jehovah” or why we dont celebrate holidays …i dont know if this helps you or angers you but i thought i would voice my opinion, thank you

You must follow your own path. If you truly feel that the Kingdom Hall is where you need to be, then perhaps it is. There are other places for the humble and curious, however, and I do not agree that what they do can be considered research. The methods are problematic at best. Still, you are free to make your own judgment. I would only say: Focus on where you see compassion, good will, and caring. Follow your heart. You already know more than you think you do. The fact that you consider these things means that you are already on a religious path of questioning, no matter what you might decide at certain “resting-spots” in your life of faith.

I want to thank you for the exceptional advice that you posted on the Watchtower Information website. Many of the issues that were mentioned in the article pertain to my person almost exactly. However, I found the article to be both positive and inspiring as well.

I had spent about fourteen years in that organisation and I did not further my education because it was prohibited. However, I will graduate college with an associates degree in July of 2006 and I will have accomplished a goal that I wanted to achieve my entire life. At times, I feel very sad at what has happened to persons like myself but I am hoping in time that I will recover and put the organisation behind me once and for all.

Admittedly, I am now the “enemy” of my former friends and associates and that is a difficulty I am still trying to contend with…

Why do individuals like myself get taken into such “religions” without checking the references or doing a background check? I must admit I hold anger at myself for not having done the basic fundamentals of critical thinking and a historicity check of the organisation.

I would like to conclude with words of appreciation and thanks, I hope that you continue to write as many inspiring articles as your last one. – Richard

Thank you Richard. Many join up with JWs at times in their lives when critical thinking is not at the top of a list of priorities. Forgive yourself, don’t be angry with yourself. It’s like when you have been conned – use the experience to prevent a repetition of the mistake, but don’t fall into paranoia over it. As for being an enemy – you’ll have to find space to forgive them too. It’s not personal. From our emails following this note, it seems to me that you have really hit your stride and are starting to meet some of your goals. Kudos to you!

Yours is the best Ex-Jehovah’s Witness Site I’ve seen yet. I have to admit that I merely browsed over the site and didn’t go into to too much detail but the spirit of your advice, the little tid-bits I got were very good coaching points I felt. I was recently Disfellowshipped on August 16, 2005. I will more than likely be back to this site whenever I get too “self-centered” or feel sorry for myself. Thanks For The Practical Points,
Honestly, Michael

Thanks Michael. I tried to give small bits of things, since everyone’s experiences are somewhat different. I am hoping that people will send in some things like that – small things – that have helped them. For me, nothing helped more than curiosity, reading, and asking/answering questions to myself as honestly as I possibly could.

This site is very enlightening. I have a close friend who is a JW..she has been for a long time. I am not a JW and never wish to be, but am not sure about her intentions concerning me. She has never ever talked to me about anything religious and I never have introduced anything “religious” into our relationship as friends either. I love her and don’t want to lose her as a friend, but I always feel like I am borrowing her time. I am also afraid I wouldn’t know what to say to her if she ever approached me in a religious conversation…what should I say to her? I don’t agree with her beliefs. Can I just tell her that and it be cool? R

R -If your JW friend has never mentioned much about the religion, you may be a refuge! If you start asking her about it, you may activate her internal warnings about worldly associations – if she wants to talk about it, she will. Otherwise, I’d leave it be. If she did bring it up, I think you have the right idea. Without making a big issue, you can just say “I don’t believe that” or “that’s not what I can believe.” She will have heard it before, believe me. And if she was going to end the friendship over religion, it would have ended before now. Don’t worry about it overmuch. Just give your friend a friend! She needs one. I’m here if you ever have any concerns, issues, questions – but the best thing you can do is simply see who she is and accept her and really be her friend, which is what you are.

I have let down my guard with my friend a lot because I don’t want her to feel like I am one of those that just passes judgment on everyone who isn’t like them or doesn’t share their beliefs. I am not one who says I am a “Baptist, Methodist, whatever…” I am a Christian and do my best to try to treat folks the way I think Jesus would treat them. You can get closer to folks with love than any other thing you can try…and that’s it…I love this person and her family very much. They have become like family to me, but there is that wall…I don’t understand the JW ways, but have been friends long enough with these folks to understand that they make conscience effort to make sure you don’t get too close b/c you are not one of them, after all. While these things bother me a lot, sometimes I think it’s God’s way of helping not to get sucked into the crazy JW mentality. I don’t want to be like them. She seems so unprogrammed when we just hang out together as friends, but as soon as her “brothers and sisters” are around, I can see and feel the difference. I am not used to that in my friendships…it’s just weird.

I feel guilty a lot even about contacting her in anyway outside of work. We are co-workers. As you probably know, she always talks about how busy she is and I know this is true b/c I have done some reading and know how busy that lifestyle is outside of other things people want to do in life. I literally do feel like I borrow time from her family, her religious obligations, and yes, I have even mistakenly called her during study times at her home. She answers most anytime I call, but I can tell that it annoys her when I do that. I just apologize and tell her we’ll talk later. It is hard to be friends w/ a JW who is all up into it. This is normal behavior for the JW community, right? I am not wrong about the busy life the society places upon them, am I? That is just the society’s part of trying to keep them away from people outside of their own lifestyle and beliefs unless, of course, they are doing field service. Am I mistaken about this? R

R-Yes, you are right that the JW lifestyle is a busy one. There are multiple weekly meetings as well as “going out in service.” If your friend has a “study” time, it may mean that she has folks to her house at a regular time each week (most likely a Tues or Thursday night for the book study, they sometimes do this at people’s houses instead of the Kingdom Hall). If she is married, the husband may mandate additional study times as a family – although that is a little bit rarer now than when I was a child. It may simply be that she wants to minimize the appearance of your friendship to others – she’s supposed to limit “worldly associations” – but the fact that she considers you a friend means that she truly cares about you. If she is able to let down her guard a little bit, I am sure that you are a refuge for her, a place where she can be herself. As you notice – JWs tend not to really be themselves in front of their own. It is a very judgmental and gossipy sort of group, and they foster a kind of self-policing paranoia. You might ask her privately – without making a big deal about it – when a good time to contact her outside of work might be. You will be able to judge pretty well from her response where things stand at the moment. Meanwhile, model what acceptance and forgiveness and compassion are all about. If nothing else, it gives an alternative to the society’s stranglehold on the psyche, which all religions have to one extent or another. It is good for her to know that non-JWs are good people, and if she ever gets shunned and disfellowshipped, she won’t be entirely alone in the world as so many are.

It is sad that you are putting so much information about Jehovah’s Witnesses and yet you know so little about them. Quoting Watchtowers is not what it means to be one of Jehovah’s Witnesses. ExJWs never learn that. – Gr

Gr – Unfortunately, I know only too well what it means to be a JW. I finally realized that they did not in fact exhibit the fruits of the spirit as a group (individual people did, of course, as they do everywhere). My posts are an endless testimony to that, from questions I get to items in the news, to situations that people face. I know that JWs are mostly very decent people – I only feel they have been misled. I feel that you wrote from a good motivation – I wish you well.

There are no words to express the gratitude I feel for what you are doing here! From the bottom of my heart..THANK YOU! I just don’t have the time to tell you my story but here it is on another site..lot’s of love! Anthony

Thank you Anthony! I’ve posted the link here so others can read it too.

thanks for your virushead site. My wife and son ( 11 yrs ) are big time into JWs, and I’m ….where ? out of the circle…can’t get started. Just tell me…is everything I do or say worthless ? do I have ANY value ? J

J -Of course you have value! Even by the viewpoint of JWs, you are the head of the household. Yours is an extremely difficult situation and it pulls everyone’s love for one another to the very edges. Your wife and son will be attempting to bring you in to the JWs at all times – to save you. Your son is into it because he can’t sort through the truth/falsehoods – and because it’s a way to bond with mom – and because it makes him feel superior to you. He’s 11 – so you’ll have to probably let that go for now and focus on your wife. You must start to understand why your wife has been drawn in. You probably know how, but do you know _why_? Can you offer her a better alternative – is it social needs? attention? boredom? a friend of hers made her feel special? If you figure out how it started and what reward she is getting right now – outside of any beliefs or anything like that – you will have gone a long way already.

Think about how this all started, how you got left out of the loop, and how long this has all been going on. Depending on the circumstances, you might be wise to attend a couple of meetings a month with them just to keep tabs on what is happening and to be able to discuss with your wife – and also so the congregation sees you as a strong presence.

This religion, and it’s not the only one, is a little bit like a drug addiction. Keep your head in reality and see if you can help your wife and son rather than seeing it as their separating themselves from you. They need your strong example, your compassion, and your strength.

I recommend checking the “Meetup” site for former JWs in your area – other Dads. I feel as though they might have better things to tell you from their experience than I would – just because I think some of the issues dovetail in with a lot of other gender-role issues today.

Do not allow yourself to be out of the loop of your own family – you are very central!!!

I’m trying to offer as much help as I can without knowing you or really anything much about the situation. I’m here as a resource in any way that I can help – even if it’s only to listen or to offer the occasional suggestion. You sound very overwhelmed and depressed. I might be able to give you some strategies or help in talking to your wife about these issues. Without being domineering, insist that you talk some of this out, if not in therapy than on your own – and not in front of your son.

Is there any sense in which either of them might be involved just for reasons of independence from you? Are you insecure, abusive, passive, whiny, a control freak – anything like that? Please don’t be offended – and don’t answer! The questions are for you to ask yourself! If there are things to “own up to” and start to change – this is the time. It might really jumpstart the whole conversation.

However, if things are really serious, I recommend trying to get into couple’s therapy. She will resist it because she will have been “infected” with the paranoia of outsiders. You might even resist the idea too (many men do although I’m not sure why) – but a good counsellor is really only a kind of “referree” who will sit you down and make you speak truth to one another, making sure that it’s fair and respects everyone’s viewpoint and feelings. You can find recommendations for short-term issues-based therapy in your area, and it’s usually on a sliding scale. Sometimes it can be helpful, especially if you are having troubles communicating with one another.

Try not to be overwhelmed or too discouraged! This is very common – and you are not alone!!!

———————
It sounds like we all need a little extra love and compassion this season. Reach out to the people who you love and who love you. Get involved in working on something that means something to you – meet new people. In the cold of winter, find warmth and light – and create it.

JW and Italian Parliament

JW and Italian Parliament

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Questons Posed in the Italian Parliament

This is a very good set of questions and concerns about Jehovah’s Witnesses. Just a couple of examples:

The member who does not obey the precepts contained in the “Text book for the Kingdom Ministry School” is brought to trial before a so-called judicial committee, without any safeguard or protection of basic human rights;
…
All former members must be shunned (ref. Watch Tower, April 15th, 1988) and any kind of relationship with such a person is forbidden; in case of close family relationship, all relations must be cut to a minimum;
…
No activity of solidarity or help towards others, except towards the “brethren”, is allowed;
…

Thanks to Rick Ross for posting this, and to the GRIS (a somewhat controversial anti-cultist catholic organization, Group for Research and Information on Sects) for composing and presenting it.

Prision to Church

Prision to Church

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Wow – look at those Christian Fish!

Fish circling - photo copyright Ariel Schalit-AP

What a fabulous find! One of the most ancient christian churches – and where is it? In Megiddo. MEGIDDO! And how did they find it? Starting construction on a new prison wing for Palestinian prisoners.

Israeli prisoner Ramil Razilo was removing rubble from the planned site of a new prison ward when his shovel uncovered the edge of an elaborate mosaic, unveiling what Israeli archaeologists said Sunday may be the Holy Land’s oldest church.

The discovery of the church in the northern Israeli town of Megiddo, near the biblical Armageddon, was hailed by experts as an important discovery that could reveal details about the development of the early church in the region. Archaeologists said the church dated from the third century, decades before Constantine legalized Christianity across the Byzantine Empire.

GO! Look at it! There’s video too!

Two mosaics inside the church — one covered with fish, an ancient Christian symbol that predated the widespread use of the cross symbol — tell the story of a Roman officer and a woman named Aketous who donated money to build the church in the memory “of the god, Jesus Christ.”

Pottery remnants from the third century, the style of Greek writing used in the inscriptions, ancient geometric patterns in the mosaics and the depiction of fish rather than the cross indicate that the church was no longer used by the fourth century, Tepper said.

The church’s location, not far from the spot where the New Testament says the final battle between good and evil will take place, also made sense because a bishop was active in the area at the time, said Tepper, who works with the Israel Antiquities Authority.

The inscription, which specifies that Aketous donated a table to the church, indicates the house of worship predated the Byzantine era, when Christians began using altars in place of tables in their rituals, Tepper said. Remnants of a table were uncovered between the two mosaics.

What a train of thought that sets off for me.

Incredible. Ironic. Funny. Sweet.

(Thank you Etherealgirl!- extra, extra !!!..!)

Letter to a New Convert

Letter to a New Convert

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Note: This is actually a compilation of a couple of letters. Personal matters have been stripped out, and there is some reorganization for the blog post.
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You have come to a realization that what really matters in this life is how one manifests love and compassion, what your relationship is to other people and to the divine. Some people never truly confront this.

We talked a bit about your experiences, and it was then that I realized you probably don’t even know that I had been a devout Jehovah’s Witness. I think I should give you more background so that you might understand where I began and where my concerns are based. As a young person, I strongly believed that the end of the world would come before I was old enough to get my driver’s license. I had all the answers, was righteous and zealous. But it began to become obvious to me that the group beliefs and dynamics were actually anti-religious: destructive, not compassionate – driven by fear, not by love.

My answers came tumbling down. For a while, I believed that God rejected me, and that was ok in a certain sense because I certainly rejected the god of my youth. That god had unreachable expectations, he was a god who could only love men who measured their spirituality according to time-sheet accountings of their hours working for him. This god didn’t seem to care much for the spiritually hungry, but was concerned only about compliance to authoritarian, changing rules from his divinely inspired publishing company in Brooklyn. The elders didn’t even write their own sermons. We were happy with slave-language, unflinching in the face of titles like “district overseer.” Jesus was a token presence in this community. The group as a whole was ultimately concerned with an idea of a god that would kill everyone on earth except JWs. This Jehovah-god was so limited he could only motivate by threats of murder. It is difficult for me to imagine it now, but I was zealous in this “faith,” until it proved to be heartless and destructive – even catastrophic – to myself and to others in ways that I could no longer ignore.

I pray that you will not be so disappointed.

All groups and all people have faults – keep your eyes on love.

In my case, after my disillusionment I started to look at the religious impulse from different perspectives. I read spiritual autobiographies, studied world religions and histories, communed and meditated with the cosmos in my own ways and in imitation of the ways of others. Jesus is not the only prophet of love and forgiveness. Even the teachings of Jesus are warped beyond recognition. I do not believe that people are “saved” in the way that you do, because I have come to believe that the doctrines of sacrificial redemption and Jesus as Messiah and only path to God miscast the message. To me, this is a kind of fanaticism with consequences that show no signs whatsoever of being fruits of the spirit. I know that there is a significant truth at the heart of Christianity but mandatory assent to these sort of doctrines came later, when you had to be able to divide the christians from the nonchristians (after a while, christians got the good government jobs in the empire).

I do believe that Jesus was an extraordinary man, and that spirit did reside in him. By your standards you would not call me a Christian, but I am one in the sense of the central teachings and message of Jesus. Jesus did not represent himself as an authoritative guru figure (although Jesus is an important model of praxis in many ways) but instead he always deferred to the power of the what he experienced as his “Father” working through him. His message was of about a love-energy that is within us. At-one-ment is getting attuned to that. He encouraged the release of love-spirit as a free will acceptance that was also empowering. He encouraged gatherings in the spirit of love and kindness and caring, and rejected greed, control, and hypocrisy. He wanted us to see God in one another, and to take care of one another in that spirit. He especially championed those without a voice, the powerless and the poor, the ones who are left out or judged – often unfairly – by others. My own calling requires that I test my faith, that I learn to ask better questions, that I reside in the spirit, but also continue walking as a pilgrim.

When some people think of God, they think of a wise king, others think of a mother hen guarding its chicks – neither of these is right, but we simply do not have the words that would accurately depict God. There are patterns that occur over and over again in all the world’s religions – but the closest descriptive “word” we have is love. It is an inadequate word, and easily misunderstood, but I’ve not seen a better one. I would say compassion, but that’s even more easily twisted into something else.

William James, in the “Varieties of Religious Experience” puts the mystical at the heart of all true religious experience. He argues that individual religious experiences (rather than the doctrines of organized religion) are what is most central to an authentic religious life.

“Philosophy lives in words, but truth and fact well up into our lives in ways that exceed verbal formulation. There is the living act of perception always something that glimmers and twinkles and will not be caught, and for which reflection comes too late. …In the religious sphere, in particular, belief that formulas are true can never wholly take the place of personal experience.”

Having said that, I must still respectfully disagree with your assertion that the intellect is not important. The mind is a wonderful tool, and of course it serves limited purposes. Our intellects are somewhat puny, and the tools of the intellect can only go so far. Thinking can (mis)lead one away from the spirit, especially if thinking is used dishonorably or without compassion or ethics or context. We have intellect as part of our free will, a cosmic gift of the highest order. It is wise, I think, to develop a sense of when to let go of formal thinking and focus on how you actually experience and navigate your reality in the moment, to pay attention to the tape that rattles on endlessly and become conscious of the way you actually think, or to focus on breathing, or simply being. I could quibble with you about whether there is experience without mind, but suffice to say that ideally there is integration – the mind, heart, spirit, and soul are not really separable. When they are at odds with one another, or artificially separated, you’ve got troubles.

Have you read any of the mystics? You would find echoes of your own experience in many of their narratives. Your experiences in spirit are very real, and I believe that you have experienced exactly what you say. My warnings to you were based on real experience too.

As the angel of annunciation is wont to say “Fear not!’ – there is nothing wrong between you and I. You are important to me – certainly enough so as to be granted the basic respect of being addressed with forthrightness and honesty and in caring how you thrive in the present and the future. Within that caring, we are still bound to disagree on some matters. What would be wrong would be if I were to be silent or placating. I could just “play along” but that would be so demeaning of you and of your experiences and belief!

I personally do not believe in demonic intervention in human life – but I do believe in panic attacks and my own interpretation of your experience is that you may well have been pressed to your outer limits under anxiety and fear because of all that had happened and all the rapid changes in your life. If the name of Jesus worked to rescue you from that experience, then you have a strong faith. I would only note that others might have different names to call upon during such a nightmarish vision – what seems to matter most is that faith.

Even Satan has a place and role. Mythologically and psychologically, he is the placeholder for the principle of opposition, pride, and the legalistic thinking (the letter of the law over the spirit of the law) that can so easily take over compassion and understanding and wise judgment. The figure of the adversary is, most of all, about the lie, including lies people tell themselves, rationalizations to justify hurting others, and the like.

I think that demons were personified representations of temptations and problems that could be projected outward and banished as a form of sympathetic magic or soul therapy. Demons became more intensely imagined as Christianity took over other religions. They were defined in terms of human ideological conflict. For example, our image of the horned devil isn’t biblical at all – it is only the Celtic Horned God rewritten as evil to overcome the native religious concentration on attunement with the earth and its cycles. Christians have sometimes been great “borgs” – resistance is futile, you will be assimilated. You can keep your festival, but now it’s called this.

Sam Keen looks at it from the point of view of sociology in “Faces of the Enemy,”using propaganda posters, cartoons, and print images. What psychology calls “neurosis, and acknowledged to be near universal, theologians once called sin, estrangement or alienation. The word paranoia is only the most recent name for this perennial human temptation to yield to a pervasive need of radical mistrust, defensiveness, and cynicism. As a mode of perception that often becomes a style of life, paranoia weaves around the vulnerable self or group an air-tight metaphysic and world view. Paranoia is an anti-religious mysticism based on the feeling or perception that the world in general, and others in particular, are against me or us. Reality is perceived as hostile. By contrast, the religious mystic experiences the ground of being as basically friendly to the deepest needs of the self… As the religious mystic turns to and trusts in God or the ground of being, the paranoid mystic organizes life around combat against the enemy.”

Jesus cast out demons, but look carefully at the texts themselves – even compare translations. He was very good at what we might now call guided meditations, and he spoke with compelling authority. He was able to heal people who were disturbed, self-destructive, possibly with multiple personalities or other problems. In such cases, a person “hands over” their disturbance and in some cases this can have a healing effect. I think there is a lot about healing the body and soul that we don’t know, so I am probably more open to the idea of Jesus as healer than you might think.

Whether you believe in the early Catholic view of demons or not, there is one aspect of this that cannot be denied. Historically, when people spend too much time meditating on the demonic, they start to become a little “demonic” themselves, seeing evil everywhere and especially in other people. Things like the Inquisitions and the Witch Hunts and the Holocaust were the result. When you look into the abyss, sometimes the abyss begins to look back at you.

On some days – especially after watching what some contemporary pseudo-christians are up to, soaked in hypocrisy, greed, paranoia and hatred in the drive to political power – I wonder if Nietzsche was right when he said that the last Christian died on the cross. Their leaders’ motivations and actions seem to me to have very little if anything to do with the message of Jesus or of Christianity.

Elaine Pagels wrote a book called “The Origin of Satan” in which she traces the development of Satan in the Jewish community from a sort of roving agent acting on God’s behalf – always obstructing but not always evil – to an increasingly evil force identified more and more with intimate enemies, members of one’s own community with whom one is in conflict. I also like her book “Adam, Even and the Serpent” – in which she argues that

“for many of the leaders of the early church, freedom was the practical message of the gospel: freedom in its many forms, including freedom from tyrannical government, freedom from prevailing social and sexual customs, freedom from sexual desire, and freedom of the will–that is, self-mastery as a means to spiritual renewal. For almost three hundred years, Christianity prospered and grew as an illegal sect whose members increasingly reflected the diverse interests of an ever more complex population. By the fourth century, as the Christian movement became more powerful, the emperor Constantine reversed the long-standing policy of persecution and himself became a Christian. In the century following these momentous conversions — of Constantine to Christianity and the church to a respected imperial institution — Christian teaching itself underwent a revolutionary change from a doctrine that celebrated human freedom to one that emphasized the universal bondage of original sin.”

I worry about your apocalyptic expectations, for many reasons that I will leave to another time except to note that the contemporary interpretation of what it means is extremely literalizing – even fatalistic. For instance, some feel perfectly comfortable destroying our earth and use this biblical interpretation as a rationalization for that behavior. But we are really meant to be “stewards,” how do we intend to explain our “management of the land” if the “landlord” does return?

You have found a place that gives you the kinds of things that were missing. You would find such acceptance and love in any religious community of which you are a potential new member. That is not at all to minimize any reality of that love, but just so you know that the one group is not alone in that. Ultimately, it is between you and the divine.

The spirit certainly does speak through us. Personally, I have my doubts about whether speaking in tongues is actually a manifestation of spirit – but suppose it is. Jesus said that miracles and wonders were secondary, not central to the message at all. I sometimes think he was actually a bit of a magician. In any case, what was important to was to feed the hungry, care for the poor, treat all with the forgiveness and compassion that you would wish from God, and to dwell with God in faith.

All traditions, including Pentacostal ones, are riddled with the traditions of men – how could they not be? We are human and religions are human. The collection of texts called the Bible has a history of its own, and the theory of divine inspiration came after libraries full of unacceptable materials were burned to the ground.

Each way has its resonance and its pitfalls. The Protestantism that emphasized faith and grace also lost much spiritual wisdom. The shallow-minded faith espoused by those such as Pat Robertson is a direct result.

If you take the scriptures seriously, you take them seriously. Why would you then turn your eyes away when you find something you don’t expect? Of course, if you don’t really take them seriously, you are not burdened with them. It’s kind of an either/or choice.

If faith and love direct experience are what is required, scripture is not necessary.

If scripture is necessary, why not learn the Greek, learn the methods of textual analysis, read what others have argued and why? Why not have the courage to test and deepen your faith with knowledge? Paul argued that a faith that cannot examine itself is a weak faith.

There are many religious texts. Even within the Christian traditions, there are the apocrypha, the dead sea scrolls, the philosophies and theologies and attempts to interpret meanings and ethics and mystical experience – hundreds of years worth of this stuff. That’s not even to consider archaeology, anthropology, sociology, myth studies, and all the other related fields of study.

I am sorry that you dropped that class.

I can only be honest with you about where I walk – I can do no other. I have seen evil masquerading as goodness, and once you interact with enough people who have been victims of it, it is hard not to worry about the potential.

So I say to you, beware the feeling that you are right. Beware a simple substitution of one kind of addiction for another. God’s love flows through you when you have chosen it in free will. Sometimes the choice is not rewarded, sometimes the choice is hard. But you will see this for yourself as you journey to the heart of it all. Although you may have episodes of spiritual ecstasy, it’s not all about bliss and being high/drunk on God.

The River Why

There is a wonderful novel called “The River Why” by David Duncan that is basically a spiritual quest novel, but the language is in the context of (of all things) fly-fishing. Now you know that’s not a big interest of mine, but it’s a wonderful read. I taught the book many years ago in a class on Religion and Society, and I reread it every once in a while. It has a good effect on me, kind of a re-alignment effect. It won’t be as overtly Christian as you might like, but I think you would really “get” and enjoy the book.

I have no intention of dampening your enthusiasm! I do understand and even applaud it. I would only say – pay attention, follow your heart, follow the bliss that gives you meaning, not bliss in itself.

Continue to separate the wheat from the chaff using the fruits of the spirit and a love of truth (not denial, deceit, convenience, tradition) as your guides. Pray in thanks and for guidance in love and truth – I think these are the kinds of prayers that matter most.

There are many callings, many gifts, many paths to God. Beware of thinking that one path is the only correct path. God is Love, and the one thing about the main road that I know is that it is paved with soured good intentions. If you uphold as your standard that God is a God of love, it will help to keep you on your path. You seem already to have grasped this, since you say:

“For instance it is all based on faith, hope, and love (agape Divine love, the love of God and Jesus Christ, unselfish, unconditional love) from the Scriptures and yields the fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, etc. all the qualities of Jesus).”

Know that you are loved, by God and the cosmos, and by some awkward earth people too.

NY JW shoots wife, self

NY JW shoots wife, self

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Another Jehovah’s Witness murder, this time from the Bronx. A man shot his estranged Avon-lady wife to death and then killed himself. They were found by the mother’s 21-year-old daughter.

He would show up unannounced and sleep outside the apartment in his truck when she wouldn’t let him in. He had been angry that she was out of his control, had “strayed” from the JWs and was dating someone else after their separation 18 months ago. Basic stalking, lack of respect for someone else’s free will and being, probably mixed up with several JW issues on headship, domination of women, approaching apocalypse, and so on.

Sharoll Medina, 39, another victim.
Julio Lopez, 45, murderer – and also victim.

New York Daily News, Nov. 2, 2005

JW Arsonist

JW Arsonist

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Church arson suspect sought – gainesvilletimes.com

Two minor local fires were set in Kingdom Halls early Monday morning. At least one of the Kingdom Halls was burglarized.

I’m not terribly surprised that the suspect is the son of JWs. He has poured some kind of “flammable liquid” through the entrance and into the “sanctuary,” by which they must mean down the main center aisle. The ugly flame-retardent carpeting probably saved the place. At this point, the sheriff describes it as a “revenge act.”

He attended both Kingdom Halls – just lately he had been attending his parents congregation despite his “tenuous” relationship with them.

In the last two weeks, however, the man’s increasingly strange behavior had church members “suspicious about his state of mind,” Paxton said.

The suspect left “unusual” phone messages with his parents and other church members, the sheriff said.

I hope they find him soon, and that no-one gets hurt. If there are any Georgia JW’s reading this – please cooperate with the police. Please overcome your reluctance to assist worldly authorities. Looking at the pattern I’ve been seeing for the last several years, I would say that this young man could be a danger to himself and others – and particularly to Jehovah’s Witnesses.

He is a Kennesaw man in his mid-20s, a self-employed tree cutter. It looks like he had been attending the Acworth congregation until recently. His parents attend the Kingdom Hall of Jehovah’s Witnesses on Doc Bramblett Road in Cumming. If you have any information that might help the police, please contact the Cobb or Forsyth County Police Department.