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President Talks To God

President Talks To God

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Bright Eyes sang this on the Tonight Show.

When The President Talks To God

When the president talks to God
Are the conversations brief or long?
Does he ask to rape our women’s rights
And send poor farm kids off to die?
Does God suggest an oil hike
When the president talks to God?

When the president talks to God
Are the consonants all hard or soft?
Is he resolute all down the line?
Is every issue black or white?
Does what God say ever change his mind
When the president talks to God?

When the president talks to God
Does he fake that drawl or merely nod?
Agree which convicts should be killed?
Where prisons should be built and filled?
Which voter fraud must be concealed
When the president talks to God?

When the president talks to God
I wonder which one plays the better cop
We should find some jobs. the ghetto’s broke
No, they’re lazy, George, I say we don’t
Just give ’em more liquor stores and dirty coke
That’s what God recommends

When the president talks to God
Do they drink near beer and go play golf
While they pick which countries to invade
Which Muslim souls still can be saved?
I guess god just calls a spade a spade
When the president talks to God

When the president talks to God
Does he ever think that maybe he’s not?
That that voice is just inside his head
When he kneels next to the presidential bed
Does he ever smell his own bullshit
When the president talks to God?

I doubt it

I doubt it

Thanks Dr Bev!

Jokes for your weekend

Jokes for your weekend

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Some miscellaneous jokes for those of you who are trying to activate or maintain a sense of humor.

Famed fictional detective Sherlock Holmes and his gruff assistant Doctor Watson pitch their tent while on a camping expedition, but in the middle of the night Holmes nudges Watson awake and questions him.

HOLMES: Watson, look up at the stars and tell me what you deduce.

WATSON: I see millions of stars, and if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it is quite likely there are some planets like earth, and if there are a few planets like earth out there there might also be life.

HOLMES: Watson, you idiot! Somebody stole our tent.

Two Scottish nuns have just arrived in the USA by boat and one says to the other, ” I hear that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs.”

“Odd,” her companion replies, ” But if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do.”

Nodding emphatically, the mother superior points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk towards it.

“Two dogs, please.” Says the mother superior. The vendor is only too pleased to oblige and he wraps both hot dogs in foil. Excited, the nuns hurry over to a bench and begin to unwrap their ‘dogs’.

The mother superior is first to open hers, then, staring at it for a moment, leans over to the other nun and whispers cautiously, “What part of the dog did you get?”

“Dear Lord,” he began with arms extended and a rapturous look on his upturned face, “without you we are but dust…”

He would have continued, but at that moment one little girl leaned over to her mother and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, “Mommy, what is ‘butt dust’?”

An Alabama State Trooper stopped a pickup truck. He asked the driver, “Got any ID?” The driver said, “Bout what?”

A blonde went to an appliance store sale and found a bargain. “I would like to buy this TV,” she told the salesman.

“Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied.

She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, “I would like to buy this TV.”

“Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied.

“Darn, he recognized me,” she thought.

She went for a complete disguise this time: a brown curly wig, big baggy clothes, and big sunglasses. Then she waited a few days before she approached the salesman again and said, “I would like to buy this TV.”

“Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied

Frustrated, she exclaimed, “How do you know I’m a blonde?”

“Because that’s a microwave,” he replied.

“As fighting in Iraq intensifies, President Bush delivered his supplemental war budget to Congress. The money will cover 30 days of fighting, then we’ll be sent one war every other month until we cancel our subscription.” – Craig Kilborn

“Bush the younger has two things going for him that his father never had. One: an easy charm with regular people and two: the power to make them disappear without a trial.” – Bill Maher

“President Bush unveiled his new economic stimulus plan this week. It was reported that if the plan passes the president himself would save $44,000 in taxes, Dick Cheney would save $327,000, and you could afford to take the whole family down to Burger King to pick up job applications.” – Tina Fey, SNL

The White House announced today that next month Vice President Dick Cheney will get a colonoscopy. It’s important that you get these on a regular basis. You know, the last time he had one, they found one polyp and three oil company executives up there. – Jay Leno, July 8, 2005

Energy and Climate Change

Energy and Climate Change

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Did anyone else see Bush speaking at the G8 on climate change? He just kept repeating that we’re doing a lot, we’re spending millions on research, it’s very complicated, we’re spending money on research. Maybe when Florida’s under water, maybe when the new plague is released from polar ice, maybe when …. it’s too late. Meanwhile, they simply edit and delete the results of the research if such disagrees with their ideology – you know, a bit like the doctored evidence to go to war in Iraq, a bit like the way Bolton bullied people who didn’t come up with the results he wanted to see.

I think the other superpower -“the rest of the world” (see the piece, was it yesterday? in the New York Times) – should go ahead and do what they can. States and cities here should do what they can – some mayors have already started. Kudos!

America should not be equated with its current president. The tide will change – get things going now. Every little bit will help. Meanwhile – American reader? Sell the SUV, make your house or apartment or modular home (mobile or immobile) more energy-efficient. One dollar spent on efficiency is worth $7 spent on new energy.

Nukes are coming back – but they won’t be protected from terrorist attacks or from breakdown disasters. The Republicans want to drill a new oil well in Glen Canyon National Recreation Area – and there’s a guy in California with a bill to strike down the Endangered Species Act.

Oil supply is dwindling, and competition for carbon-based energy is growing, but there’s still so much money for them to make in the short-term.

Wanna make money? Start figuring out new energy sources now. YOU could be the big winner!

Patriotism not a sin

Patriotism not a sin

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One of my relatives sent me one of those email thingies intended to sway you into some sort of feeling or other. It was about the signers of the Declaration of Independence, and what happened to them.

“Five signers were captured by the British as traitors, and tortured before they died. Twelve had their homes ransacked and burned.” (See the Snopes breakdown on the facts)

It ends with the idea that we shouldn’t take our liberties for granted. I certainly agree with that.

But then there’s this little strange twist.

It’s time we get the word out that patriotism is NOT a sin, and the Fourth of July involves much more important symbolism, meaning, and tradition than beer, picnics, and baseball games.

Very odd to invoke the idea of patriotism as a sin. Perhaps my ideas about patriotism are still affected by my Jehovah’s Witness childhood, but it seems that there may be some confusion about what patriotism really means in a democracy. I agree that we should be thinking about independence day and what that revolution was really about rather than just (simply) enjoying the holiday. But all I see is a lot of flag-waving, hate-mongering, and an association between war and democracy. That’s not patriotism – that’s more like just wanting to be on the “winning team.” Even in sports, a true fan wants the game to respect the rules.

So anyway, here was my reply:

“No, patriotism is not a sin, but sometimes there is a real distinction to be made between patriotism – love of our country, love for freedom, appreciation for our democracy and its hard-earned rewards – and nationalism – which is a blind following of national government regardless of whether it acts in the interests of its people, or its own laws, or in the service of democracy and freedom – or not.

I am a patriot – but not a nationalist. It’s not “my country right or wrong.” Part of the strength of our system is the right of the people to hold its representatives accountable. George is not the king, after all – and all the sacrifices being made now are based on deception. Shouldn’t a patriot be angry? I am.”

Take action on Supreme Court Nomination

Take action on Supreme Court Nomination

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Time to put the pressure on! Now that we’ve lost an important moderate swing vote in Sandra Day O’Connor, we have to make sure that a right-wing ideologue doesn’t take her place. A meaningful candidate, qualified for the job and acceptable to both sides of the aisle would go a long way toward protecting our liberty, rights, environment, choices, and all the rest while protecting us against the ongoing dismantlement of our representative democracy. Surely we deserve someone who will be fair on all issues. The Supreme Court is the last word of authority on the interpretation of the Constitution – this body is a very important check and balance against tyranny of all kinds. To stock it with corrupted persons would be a disaster for the American people. The right-wing likes to invoke the term “judicial activism” – but you only need to look at some of their top people to understand why they need to project that image against liberals.

“They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it’s some kind of federal program.” – George W. Bush in a debate in St. Charles, Mo., Nov. 2, 2000

Call and write your senators as often as you can – be sure always to be respectful and calm. You can email them using this banner, but telephoning or writing an actual letter seems to be the preferred form of action.

Please sign on to any of these that you agree with:

The President and Republican leaders have a choice: choose a battle that divides America, or seek a middle ground with a nominee we all can trust to fairly interpret and uphold the Constitution and the law. Let the Senators who will make this important decision know that America doesn’t want us to rubber stamp the President’s nominee
http://www.democracyforamerica.com/norubberstamps

This is an extremely important time for our senators to hear from us. They need to know that we are counting on them to stand up to President Bush and protect our rights — because with a moderate like O’Connor stepping down and a far-right like Bush making the nomination, well, the stakes couldn’t be higher. MoveOn PAC has started an emergency petition, and we’re looking to get 250,000 signatures and comments to the Senate before Tuesday — which is when rumor has it Bush will announce his nomination.

http://www.moveonpac.org/protectourrights

Please sign the petition urging President Bush to nominate a consensus candidate that will unite and not divide Americans. Our nation has been polarized, and we have gone on record urging a different direction, but we will be prepared to fight if necessary.

http://www.democraticaction.org/ftaf/consensusjudge.html

As Texas governor, George W. Bush demonstrated that he doesn’t require legal skills for a judicial nominees. His only requirement was that judges share his anti-abortion, pro-corporation ideology. Many of his nominations to the federal bench seem to have followed the same pattern. The character and record of anyone nominated to our nation’s highest court must be thoroughly reviewed and considered by the Senate in their important “advice and consent” role. The Senate must be certain the nominee can discern between personal conviction and interpretation of the law as they balance the interpretation of our Constitution and our democracy’s promise to protect and expand the civil liberties of all people, not just the privileged few. Please contact your Senators immediately and urge them to oppose any nominee to fill Justice O’Connor’s vacancy who would overturn Roe v. Wade or limit the civil and human rights of any group of people.

http://www.now.org/index.html – for home page of now.org
http://capwiz.com/now/mail/oneclick_compose/?alertid=7770896 – to contact your senators through their system

Now that President Bush has the power to appoint an anti-choice justice to the Supreme Court, we are just one vote away from the end of Roe v. Wade, one vote away from the end of your right to choose. We deserve to know where nominees to the Supreme Court stand on such core mainstream values as privacy, personal freedom, and a woman’s right to choose. The stakes are simply too high to gamble on a nominee who refuses to reveal his or her stand on important constitutional issues. We must be able to count on judges to protect our constitutionally guaranteed freedoms and respect individual rights. Ask your Senators to ask tough questions during the confirmation process to ensure that the next Supreme Court justice can do just that.
http://prochoiceaction.org/campaign/choose_justice?

Another worthwhile petition to sign is the one to support the idea that our representatives should have to actually read the bills before they vote on them. Makes sense, eh?

I urge you to ask your representatives to please sponsor DownsizeDC.org’s “Read the Bills Act of 2005” (RTBA).

http://action.downsizedc.org

I am sure there are other petitions, actions, and so on. Feel free to add more in the comments – but don’t bother adding anything that supports getting rid of public education, equal rights, choice, destroying the environment and the like. I have no patience with it today.

Provocative Questions

Provocative Questions

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Dennis Rahkonen (‘The Republican Wile E. Coyote‘, 6-27-05) thinks that Durbin’s apology was unwise. In his view, we should perhaps be making more actual historical comparisions between this administration and that of Hitler’s Germany. Here are some starter questions for eager researchers…

Did German motorists have “Support Our Troops” ribbons on their Volkswagens in 1943?

Did conservatives loyal to Hitler pooh-pooh reports of Jews being abused in concentration camps in the same way neocon Bush backers blithely dismiss documentation by Human Rights Watch, Amnesty International and even the FBI that Muslims are being routinely abused at U.S. detention centers in Afghanistan, Iraq and Cuba?

Did they actually believe the contrived pretext for the Wehrmacht’s assault on Poland? (Nazi provocateurs dressed in Polish military uniforms “attacked” German border posts and a German radio station.)

Was there a German entertainer like Toby Keith who rallied backing for the official cause with jingoistic, xenophobic phonograph recordings?

When news of Guernica, Lidice and the Warsaw Ghetto reached the German masses, were they any less propagandized about what really happened there then we are about Fallujah?

Was the German press as craven in refusing to criticize Hitler’s purpose as the American media are in failing to seriously challenge George Bush?

Finally, will history and humankind accord his despicable war for oil and hegemony any kinder status than they have for the crimes of the Third Reich?