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To Counteract the Bad Taste Left in My Mouth

To Counteract the Bad Taste Left in My Mouth

I’m dwelling on a few of the more illuminating passages from the Hebrew and the Greek Scriptures. There are a few (yes, there are) that are encouraging and inspiring.

These are shimmer points that can always bring goodness. They are sometimes surrounded by passages that provide only the very dimmest of lights from the tain of the mirror. Perhaps that is somehow necessary, just as the best grapes for wine only grow and flourish in well-aged manure. It doesn’t prevent the sweet plants from welcoming water and light.

Zechariah 7
Justice and Mercy, Not Fasting

8 And the word of the LORD came again to Zechariah: 9 “This is what the LORD Almighty says: ‘Administer true justice; show mercy and compassion to one another. 10 Do not oppress the widow or the fatherless, the alien or the poor. In your hearts do not think evil of each other.’

Luke 18
The Parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector

9 To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everyone else, Jesus told this parable: 10 “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’

13 “But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’

14 “I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”

John 4
Jesus Heals the Official’s Son

46 Once more he visited Cana in Galilee, where he had turned the water into wine. And there was a certain royal official whose son lay sick at Capernaum. 47 When this man heard that Jesus had arrived in Galilee from Judea, he went to him and begged him to come and heal his son, who was close to death.

48 “Unless you people see miraculous signs and wonders,” Jesus told him, “you will never believe.”

Ephesians 4
Living as Children of Light

25 Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. 26 “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold. 28 He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need.

29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Hebrews 10
16 “This is the covenant that I will make with them
after those days, declares the Lord:
I will put my laws on their hearts,
and write them on their minds,”
17 then he adds,
“I will remember their sins and their lawless deeds no more.”

18 Where there is forgiveness of these, there is no longer any offering for sin.

James 3
Wisdom from Above

13 Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom. 14 But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. 15 This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. 16 For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. 17 But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. 18 And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.

Galatians 5:2-23
The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

1 Corinthians 13
Love
1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12 Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Could You Be a Vampire?

Could You Be a Vampire?

I’ve been reading vampire books since I was a kid. I have a pretty extensive collection of all kinds of vampire novels and short stories. For a while I was a member of the Lord Ruthven Society (Raymond McNally told me that “Vee neeeed new bloooood” – how could I resist? May he rest in peace.).

Maybe I should renew my membership. It’s a subgroup of the International Association of the Fantastic in the Arts (IAFA), and they always have a very fun conference. My first paper was presented there. I can’t find their site anymore though. Comment if you know anything.

No doubt the Jehovah’s Witnesses doctrine of refusing blood transfusions – even to save a life – figured in to my curiosity from a very young age. I also couldn’t help noticing that most JWs do not partake of the emblems of communion at the “Memorial Dinner.” I always thought that their interpretations of the scriptures that talk about abstaining from blood (the blood being the life) were somehow off-kilter. I mean, it’s not like they eat their meat kosher. I remember that for a while we weren’t allowed to eat Milky Way bars because there was a rumor that they used blood products as an emulsifier. I still don’t know if that’s true or not.

It was while I was alternately reading Anne Rice and Karl Barth that I got my first inkling of what a large part of my dissertation would involve. My favorite chapter is the one I wrote about the viral as it appears in fictional narratives of vampirism/communion. I am even (very painfully) working on a vampire novel.

Still, for all this, I’m not a “goth” and I look terrible in black lipstick anyway. The only vampires I’ve ever met were of the psychic-draining variety – people who just exhaust you. I’ve never participated in any of the games or groups. However, I did recently get “turned” at Facebook and am using the Facebook application of vampires, zombies and werewolves. (Join me if you’re on.)

I only attack my friends… it’s a love bite! Share your soul, but only if you wish it. I won’t drain you dry…

(rolling villainous laughter – ah – hahahahah – haha – ahahahahahahaha – ah-hahaha – ha- hah ack-snort…. ~cough~).

The allure of vampires for me is still somewhat mysterious.

Vampires are overdetermined in meaning. So many possible interpretations intersect at the figure of the vampire that – no matter how trivialized they become – there is always a hint of the numinous about them, too.

So – would I really like being a vampire?

Maybe, if it were like the Chelsea Quinn Yarbro vampire that needs only enough to fill a wineglass, and gives back love – and lust, and respect, and generosity – for this bit of life.

On the other hand, you just can’t get away from the blood. Raw blood. Ick.

It’s why I’ve always preferred vampire books to movies; in the imaginary realm, it’s less tactile. You don’t really have to visualize the actual “thing in itself.” Films make it too real, too bloody and cannibalistic.

A blood-drinking thing is like an ancient god living on sacrifices – it’s a power trip. To me, that can never truly be sexy.

Also, the current crop of (literary) vampires is far too group/sect oriented, like political poppets. What good is eternal life if you’re always squabbling about territory or ethnicity or some such?

When I saw this quiz in my inbox, I went to take it right away. The results are about what I’d expect – I could if I had to…

You Could Be a Vampire… If You Had To

Like most people, the thought of being a vampire has crossed your mind. But you’re not sure if you’d do it, even if you could. Living forever doesn’t sound half bad, if you could live forever with the people you love the most. But do vampires even love? And would the vampire version of you even be you? It’s all too much to contemplate. Luckily, the chances of you ever becoming a vampire are astronomically low.

What you would like best about being a vampire: Living forever

What you would like least about being a vampire: Blood stained teeth

Language is a Virus

Language is a Virus

I was looking at my dissertation today, wondering if I can yet make a readable book out of it. Now that I’ve got a little distance from what was an agonizing process (at least until the last bit, when I actually started enjoying it), it seems better than I thought at the time. Today I’m posting a very select few of the quotations I used as a kind of shorthand that helps me remember the train of thought that’s at the back of a novel I’m writing. Between mommy-brain and constant distractions, it might be helpful to keep this here – as a touchstone of sorts.

My general theory since 1971 has been that the word is literally a virus, and that it has not been recognised as such because it has achieved a state of relatively stable symbiosis with its human host; that is to say, the word virus (the Other Half) has established itself so firmly as an accepted part of the human organism that it can now sneer at gangster viruses like smallpox and turn them in to the Pasteur Institute.
– William Burroughs

This Snow Crash thing–is it a virus, a drug, or a religion?”
Juanita shrugs. “What’s the difference?
– Neal Stephenson, Snow Crash

How does Gemüt, the mind, speak, how does the heart speak, how does the voice of the blood speak in the time of AIDS? Does the virus expose this voice to a cacophony, a cacophony that does not even form a negative unity within which it still resonates? How is such exposure possible? Can the voice of the blood recognize itself in the cacophony caused by the virus?
– Alexander Garcia Duttman

About all, we need to resist, at all costs, the luxury of listening to the thousands of language tapes playing in our heads, laden with prior discourse, that tell us with compelling certainty and dizzying contradiction what AIDS really means.
– Paula Treichler

Discourse, alas, is the only defense with which we can counteract discourse, and there is no available discourse on AIDS that is not itself diseased.
– Lee Edelman

If Amanda had cancer or a brain tumor, they’d be bringing her casseroles and cakes.
– Alice Hoffman

Sh*t, do you realize that only about a tenth of infected Americans can get these new drugs? It kind of makes you wonder about the other thirty million people on this planet with HIV. I mean, how many people in Africa or Asia do you think are able to get any of these cocktails?
– R.D. Zimmerman, Hostage

The brain works like a collection of viruses, the Consensus said one hundred and fifty years later, when viruses were difficult to avoid.
– Geoff Ryman, The Child Garden

For each illness that doctors cure with medicine, they provoke ten in healthy people by inoculating them with the virus that is a thousand times more powerful than any microbe: the idea that one is ill.
– Marcel Proust

The life of the flesh is in the blood.
– Leviticus 17:11

But you must strictly refrain from eating the blood, because the blood is the life; you must not eat the life with the flesh.
– Deuteronomy 12:23

Drink from it, all of you. For this is my blood, the blood of the covenant, shed for many for the forgiveness of sins.
– Matthew 26:28-29

Think on the nature of this great invisible thing which animates each one of us, and every blood drinker who has ever walked. We are as receptors for the energy of this being; as radios are receptors for the invisible waves that bring sound. Our bodies are no more than shells for this energy.
– Anne Rice, Queen of the Damned

It is along the frontier of blood – on the red line between pure and impure – that the inexhaustible drama between the sacred and the profane is played out: between the history of the divine, and the history of the human element that would struggle free of the human.
– Piero Camporesi

Medicine is magical and magical is art
The Boy in the Bubble
And the baby with the baboon heart
. . .
These are the days of miracle and wonder
And don’t cry baby don’t cry
Don’t cry
– Paul Simon, The Boy in the Bubble, 1986

Vampire Bootcamp

Vampire Bootcamp

Cheers to the excellent Rob Latham for teaching a Vampire Bootcamp! I like Rob a lot, and I’m thrilled that he does this kind of thing. (Thanks to JRG for alerting me to the article.)

Anyone interested in going to a similar vampire workshop in Atlanta?

It’s not role-playing, so don’t expect a goth. Seriously, I can teach this too, or moderate a discussion if you prefer.

Interested in the vampire as an overdetermined signifier? Want to compare vampirism and communion on that quasi-material/quasi spiritual thing in blood that promises immortality – at a price? Addiction and seduction and horror and humor, Count Chocula and Vampires Anonymous, lost boys and rebellious girls, Dracula and Draculya, detectives and soldiers.

I’ll put a workshop together here if enough people are interested. Email me at heidi at virushead (dot) net.