Dysfunctional Family Letter Generator
Just in time for the holidays! Don’t waste time trying to write a reasonable, nuanced missive to explain your position and how you feel. Who ever does more than skim your letters anyway?
The dysfunctional family letter generator is very humorous, especially if you’ve had a few “rough patches” with nuclear family, extended family, half-family, step-family, ex-stepfamily, adopted family, foster family, and any other kind of family-type unit that I may have forgotten to mention.
The ideal would be if you can play with the options for your letter, and then lack the motivation even to cut and paste it anywhere.
Enjoy! Laughter is therapeutic.
P.S. Now I know there may be someone out there who wants to say, “But Heidi, MY family is just perfect in every possible way.” Please feel free to comment so that I can start a collection of such people. So far: 0.
P. P. S. But maybe your rough patches were small potatoes, really, and you’ve all grown and you now support one another and are there for each other all the time and really love each other – all of you. I guess then you’d want a letter generator for expressing the wonderful things that you would want to share for the holidays. I’m sorry for letting you down, but if you really felt that way, you’d write your own letter.
P. P. P. S. I’m just in a bad mood ‘cuz I can’t send cards this year.
6 thoughts on “Dysfunctional Family Letter Generator”
hahahaha, hysterical Heidi! I can’t get enough! Maybe after twenty more revisions of this letter I’ll feel all better. Well…, maybe it will take a couple, few, several hundred more revisions….hahaha
My wife’s family-who fancy themselves the really “tight” type-have a Christmas gathering every year that I call “The Night of the Long Knives,” because every single year they stab each other at the dinner table (meatphorically, of course) until the blood flows freely.
I never pulled any punches with my relatives, and they never did with me. To hear us together would make you think we were lifetime enemies, but we’ve always closed ranks when trouble from outside loomed. My wife’s family pretends civility and togetherness, but they cannot stand each other in reality. I like my family and their way better 🙂
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Heidi, wishing you and yours a happy holiday season.
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Merry Christmas, Heidi, from Brother Tim and Wally da Weasel.
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But Sweetie, I can’t use this to send a letter to YOU! We might (possibly) have a teeny bit of dysfunction in our family, but you are the honey in the hive!
OH, my dear lovely wonderful cousin – we’d never use this for each other! I had in mind ex-step-family and the like (lol).
Love and miss you so much!