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Author: VirusHead

Interdisciplinary questioner, contextual ethicist, discourse analyst, compassionate warrior, spiritual eclectic, knowledge leader, former academic, ex-Jehovah's Witness, writer, poet, artist, singer, mom, wife, lover, sister, daughter, niece, cousin, dear friend, supporter, champion, worthy adversary, and very talented loafer. And that doesn't say anything much at all, does it?
Quiddity

Quiddity

I’m amazed by the way one word can fire off a whole line of thought.

This is a good one: quiddity.

The word “quiddity” (Latin quidditas) is one way to denote the idea of the real nature or essence of a thing, the very thing that makes it what it is. Literally, it translates as “whatness” or “what it is.”

That sounds very individualistic to an American ear, and “what is it” sounds like it might be referring to the truth about something. But it refers to what something has in common with other somethings of its type. It is the opposite of haecceity – the “thisness” of someone or something that makes it an individual being, separate from any other.

But quiddity has another meaning, and it is a strange one. How could a word that means the very essence of something, the very thing that sets it off from other types of beings – while still holding it in commonality with its own group – also be a quibble, a trivial objection, an academic point?

Maybe it’s a comment on itself. A quibble is also a narrative device that uses the precise literal conditions of an agreement in order to avoid the intended meaning.

Maybe all the searches for the essences of things, all the groupings – say, for example, stereotypes – are a kind of quibble. The labels and words that we use when we try to describe a unique thing tends to fall from haecceity to quiddity because individual words for individual beings would have no meaning between people. They cannot communicate anything more than some sort of group identity, even in the case of names (that signal species or nationality or history or paternity, etc.). Even names, unless they are very unique names, don’t communicate what is essential about a person or an animal. They are only signs.

And so they cannot carry the meaning of the “thisness” – only the “whatness.” We try to describe something essential – say, in a eulogy, or in trying to tell someone what makes them so special and unique – but we can only point to traits of commonality with others, and most of those are clichés anyway.

If you want to do statistical analysis – or a very literal biblical interpretation – or a phylogenetic diagram of the tree of life – then quiddity will serve to slice and dice your world. But in some circumstances, that’s a limited form of insight. That’s why I think stories and poetry do more for us, ultimately, than naming and organized sets.

Narrative and imaginative vision (music, painting, and so on) pull us together in a more essential way through our individual selves, whereas listing the commonalities (and assuming stable differences) sets us apart from one another – by group as well as by person.

So, lesson one for Adam was naming the animals, setting the categories based on… what?
I wonder what the upper lessons are (or would have been) in that story.

Cute cat

Sometimes I Just Want

Sometimes I Just Want

Sometimes I Just Want

To fly through the sky, carefree, in freedom.
To heal anyone of anything.
To know, understand, and be able to communicate in every language.
To sing well enough to make other people cry.
To leap through the air like a dancer.
To skip and not worry if I look absurd.
To play, mingling imagination and reality like a child.
To run at full speed, for as long as I want to.
To hide anywhere by fading into my surroundings.
To huddle, warm and cozy, by a fire.
To sleep in total comfort, with sweet, sweet dreams.
To stomp my feet and get my way.
To scream in frustration.
To cry, giving meaning to feelings of helplessness.
To read great books for days and days.
To write better… much, much better.
To articulate the half-formed thoughts that escape so easily.
To inspire others to think and ask questions and wonder and care.
To be more courageous.
To take a risk.
To trust.
To loathe.
To feel more comfortable in my own skin.
To be graceful.
To be awkward.
To shake someone and scream “what is WRONG with you?”.
To pick a fight, for no real reason.
To hear laughter.
To take off and be by myself for a couple of weeks.
To have superhero tools, especially the lasso of truth.
To have a teleportation device.
To have a time machine.
To have a holodeck.
To have a device that could make anything out of anything -free.
To have enough money never to have to think of it again.
To never have to clean anything but my own body.
To travel safely and comfortably – anywhere.
To open everyone’s eyes – including my own.
To have a working magic wand.
To suddenly notice that I’m happy.
To have a good tree to climb.
To go on a ferris wheel.
To go ice-skating.
To go skiing.
To go camping.
To be wise.
To be silly.
To be fun.
To be frivolous.
To be loving.
To be loved.
To be cruel.
To be petulant.
To be unreasonable.
To be logical.
To be disciplined.
To be unfettered.
To be irresistible.
To say exactly what I’m thinking.
To be completely selfish.
To be sweet, for no particular reason.
To live in that happy spot between desire and ego-lessness.
To find the ideal balance between order and chaos.
To be left alone.
To get attention.
To slap someone right across the face.
To do something meaningful with my insights before I forget them.
To have something more than insight.
To see for miles and miles.
To let go and trust the cosmos.
To float downstream.
To laugh naturally, untainted by any history.
To dream vividly, in color, and with all my senses, and remember everything.
To be able to play any music I’ve ever heard or can imagine, and on any instrument.
To experience the world in terms of wonder.
To create visual works of art that turn out just the way I imagine them.
To kiss and be kissed – with passion and tenderness.
To be held and comforted.
To believe that everything will be all right.
To make love for hours and hours.
To hold hands and walk together.
To talk for hours about everything and nothing.
To be more likable.
To be witty.
To be as bitchy and cantankerous as I please.
To be sneaky and sly.
To throw down the gauntlet.
To do the dozens.
To alphabetize my books.
To find the book I was looking for.
To remember the perfect word for that.
To know everyone’s name.
To make everything all better.
To have a plan.
To see real justice in real life.
To feel sorry for myself.
To feel sorry for someone else.
To always look like I was exactly 28, but live forever.
To talk to God, and get it, and like it.
To confer with the minor deities, and emerge unscathed.
To discover the perfect energy source.
To discover the cure for greed.
To read – at will – anyone’s thoughts.
To live in a more civilized and caring country.
To have friends in all the imaginary kingdoms, but no foes.
To die.
To really live.
To be immortal.
To understand and forgive.
To hold a grudge like it was a piece of treasure.
To be more realistic and pragmatic.
To keep an even keel.
To keep a stiff upper lip.
To keep my cool.
To express everything.
To be silent.

What a Week

What a Week

There’s been some drama in the Virushead household.

Part I: The Hubby: Last Friday, J went unconscious twice in the middle of the night (so that’s technically Saturday). The first time, he went down with a crash that woke me up. The second time was while I was trying to help him to get back into bed – and we both hit the floor on that one. Not a thing I could do, and we both sustained some minor injuries. I’m not as strong as I thought.
We’ve been told that this was likely a passing episode of vasovagal syncope. From my perspective, it was pure terror. For a couple of (my) heartbeats, I thought I’d lost him. After I screamed in his face for a little bit, he came around to consciousness again. His vitals were steady, his pupils were equal, but he said, “there’s something wrong with my symmetry.” I ruled out stroke and heart attack, and he seemed to recover well enough. If it ever happens again, I’m calling 911. At the time, it seemed like it would have been an over-reaction, but in retrospect I think I made a mistake by not calling.
Of course, there’s no-one else to call on a Friday night. There should be something that covers the gap between doctor’s hours and a call for an ambulance. By the time he was able to see his doctor, there wasn’t really much evidence for anything else that might have happened.
During the week, he started to have early-morning vertigo. By Thursday, it had become enough of a problem that he was instructed to go to the emergency room.

Part II: The Son: On Wednesday, J took B (the son) to the doctor for his checkup. We had discussed (in some detail, and on several occasions) my gut aversion to more than one vaccine being given at a time. It’s anecdotal and frankly just intuitive, but I’ve done a lot of thinking about the immune system. In addition, I remember Ben being traumatised to some extent when they gave him three shots in one visit. Psychologically, I think two is the limit. I also can’t help but wonder about the synergistic effect of several vaccines at once, especially when they involve viruses. Anyway, B needed a chicken pox vaccine (which I’m already a little skeptical about since chicken pox helps to provide immunity against smallpox) and the doctor wanted to give him a flu shot as well. John expressed our concerns, and evidently the doctor thought it was “just silly” – and gave me a call at work.
After some discussion, I started to feel like perhaps I was just being overly-cautious. Since I started working full-time, that also meant that J was the one to have to take him to the doctor. He wasn’t feeling well himself. Between the doctor’s argument and J’s condition, I relented – just for this one time.
So of course B had a reaction. All Wednesday night he was curled up against me – shivering, listless, unhappy, feverish, waking up all through the night.

Part III: Thursday: After being up most of the night, I was in rough shape. Ben was home, still feeling terrible, and we needed to talk to his doctor. J was feeling worse, too. Within a half-hour I talked to Ben’s pediatrician and we got instructions from J’s doctor to go to the emergency room for a CT scan and some other testing. I sent a message to my team at work, and resigned myself to one of those days. I bundled B up in the back of the car, and we drove off to the hospital where J was expected.
Evidently certain procedures are just dumped on ERs now – I think that’s unethical, but I don’t make the decisions. The emergency room shouldn’t have to deal with things like that. Just schedule a CT scan! What’s the problem?

Part IV: Conclusion: Thankfully, J did not have a brain tumor or anything else I had imagined, although it took almost all day to find that out.
He had just knocked his rocks loose. Hee-hee. Seriously, that’s what they said. The diagnosis is Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo: “The ear contains tiny sand grains of Calcium Carbonate call otoliths which literally means ear rocks. These fellows are meant to be heavy and like to fall on receptors in the ear called hair cells when you tilt your head. In this way your inner ear relays information to your brain about the position of your head. Lots of times these little rocks come off of their membrane and break free going from a part of the inner ear called the utricle falling into one of the semicircular canals, most commonly the posterior canal.” Fun, huh? There is some sort of “Dizziness Clinic” where he can’t get an appointment until mid-month. I hope he’s careful in the parking lot. Evidently there are a lot of dizzy individuals in the university community (don’t say it, don’t say it).

The son was still in pretty bad shape this morning, and after some discussion, I encouraged him to get into bed to see if he could sleep a little more. The idea was that he would go to school, but a little later than usual. He slept until 1:30, and I don’t know a better validation for his staying home than that. He’s starting to feel a little better tonight, and ibuprofen has helped a lot so I think he’ll be almost back to his regular self tomorrow.

I worried all day, but J and B managed by themselves. Good job!

I got home, threw the hambone in for some weekend pea soup, and cracked a beer. Man, it’s been a long week. I’m glad it’s over.

Despite everything, I’m strangely contented. Have a good weekend, everyone!

Universal Light Award

Universal Light Award

I am pleased (and a little floored) to be among the very first recipients of the Universal Light Award!

I created this award to honor those sweet souls that share the light.

Love and light to you.

I have received several awards from some of my favorite blogs in the last few weeks. I’m honored and blessed by the women and men that inspire me through their blogs, as well as share their thoughts and comments on mine.

Sharing light is simple and free. It costs nothing.

The more we inspire others the more we are placing goodness in this world.

We all need a little encouragement to continue our journey. Pass it on to people that share the light!

Much gratitude, Kimmy! I love the idea of the light circuit that is implied here, and so I give your award back to you!

Universal Light Award
Universal Light Award

Among those who blog, these are the ones that come to mind right away when I think about what lifts my spirits, encourages me, and provides the kinds of questions and thoughts that help me to thrive. Gratitude to you! Love, light and laughter!

And I’m holding one for you Elainna, whenever you start a blog! (smile)

Power Blog Award

Power Blog Award

Bingkee from I Love/Hate America has bestowed the Power Blog Award upon VirusHead. Thanks Bingkee!

Power Blog Award 2008
Power Blog Award 2008

I love these awards that circulate among fellow bloggers. It’s a graphic nod of the head to enjoyable blogs. The original Power Blog award required all sorts of rules to be posted and ten other blogs to be named. All that has dropped off, and that’s for the better. Awards like this have become a bit less viral. I don’t think many people really try to use them as marketing tools as they used to do a few years ago.

When I receive an award like this, I take it as a simple compliment. I won’t name ten blogs. Here are three from amongst my faves – three that I fervently hope will not blast me for sending a cute cartoony award (grin). Here ya go!

JW Video

JW Video

I just have to mention Spiritual Brother’s Bible Research blog for its stunning collection of Jehovah’s Witness videos and documents.

I had never seen Pastor Russell preach before, and now I can understand how liberating and authentic it must have seemed at the time.

Today’s post really got to me, so I’m posting the video from YouTube. Historical photographs are set to a group of people singing the Kingdom Song “Take Sides with Jehovah!” (Exodus 32:26). It almost brought me to tears. It must have been so different back then. The song never sounded like that at my Kingdom Hall. For one thing, no-one was trained to sing the harmonies anymore. Music with spirit was almost entirely gone. It’s still a very basic song, but it would have made those long meetings a lot more bearable if we could have created a beautiful sound of praise – with feeling and beauty – rather than a cold dirge. I remember people almost glaring sometimes at the few people who really sang. So sad.